Friday, 24 February 2012

NEW MISSION BEGINS TONIGHT!




Recent Photograph of Rasa Von Werder


WHEN I PICK UP TY - WRITE THIS DOWN AS A HISTORIC EVENT

2  23  12

DERRICK, BLESS HIS HORNY HEART, GOT ME STARTED ON THIS & WE AREON TO SOMETHING!
I WILL NOW BEGIN TEACHING THIS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT PRACTICE OF WORSHIP OF MOTHER GOD & VENERATION OF WOMEN THROUGH WORSHIP OF WOMEN’S BODIES IN SEX.

THE YONI WILL REPLACE THE LINGHAM AS THE OBJECT OF WORSHIP, MEN WILL RECEIVE THE FEMININE DIVINE FROM WOMEN NOT BY USING THEM FOR THEIR OWN ORGASMS, BUT BY RESTRAINING THEIR OWN & GIVING AS MUCH PLEASURE AS POSSIBLE TO WOMEN.

DERRICK IS DOING THAT NOW, & HE’S PASSING IT ON TO ME...I AM GOING TO TEACH & PREACH THIS.  WE WILL WORK ON ENDING SEXUAL REPRESSION – A DAMAGING DOCTRIN.  WE WILL RESTORE SEX & VITALITY TO MEN & WOMEN THROUGH THIS!  WILL REINSTATE SUBVERSIVE SEXUAL DOCTRINES WHERE THEY EITHER PREACH REPRESSION THROUGH THE PULPTS OR ELSE SLEASY SEX THROUGH PORNO.  THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY – THIS IS IT.

WILL HAVE MUCH MORE INSTRUCTION LATER ON, WILL GIVE REPORTS.
NOW I MUST GO OUT, TRAIN, DO THINGS TO GET READY FOR MY FIRST YONI WORSHIPPER!


    Tantra
    An Academic View
    by Swami Nostradamus Virato

    Introduction

Tantra in Buddhist and Hindu traditions was a method to activate and utilize Kundalini energy (bio-energy) for the expressed purpose of spiritual advancement. The word is a composite of tapestry, web and enlightenment. While some have dubbed Tantra a religion, that is for convenience sake. Tantra in essence defies all the tenants of a religion, while maintaining a spiritual core. And while there are indeed rituals, the rituals are for reference.

The origins and philosophy of the Tantric lifestyle can be traced to Tantric elements in both Hinduism and Buddhism, and predate Taoist philosophy. Buddhist Tantra, and Taoism are outgrowths of the original form of Tantra which began in ancient India.

Today, Tantra has re-emerged in western culture as an alternative, self-help, sexual/spiritual phenomenon, and to some degree as been usurped, even if in name only, with aggressive, non-loving sexual perversion, from pornography to prostitution. It is sad, but it is what it is.  This is not genuine Tantra. If this be any definition at all, Tantra taps into a wider dimension of consciousness, and embraces love. It is indeed a doorway to enlightenment.

The History of Sex in India

While the essence of Tantric concepts can be traced to many parts of the world including the Native American tribe of Cherokee, who practiced Quodoushka, as well as in Polynesia, and elsewhere, one history of ritual sex can be traced back to the Harrapan tribe of the Indus Valley (4000 BCE --2000 BCE). They were agrarians who worshipped the power of the feminine, which they associated with fertility and birth. Their deity was the goddess, idolized in the form of the yoni (vulva). The Harrapan's culture was altered by the war-like nomadic Aryans who replaced the existing female deities with their male gods--often represented by the phallic lingam symbol (penis). Female deities were then relegated more to being consorts to the male gods.

Sexual intercourse was seen as a way to combine the male and female energies, which were seen as originating from the Cosmos. The manifestation of this duality are the deities Shiva (male) and Shakti (female).

Hinduism accepted an open attitude towards sex as an art and spiritual practice. The most famous pieces of Indian literature on sex is the Kamasutra. This collection of explicit sexual writings, both spiritual and practical, covers most aspects of human courtship and sexual intercourse. It was put together in this form by the sage Vatsyayana from a 150 chapter manuscript that had itself been distilled from 300 chapters that had in turn come from a compilation of some 100,000 chapters of text. The Kamasutra is thought to have been written in its final form sometime between the third and fifth century CE .

Over time, in the history of the evolution of Hinduism, almost every sexual technique conceivable was practiced and venerated in one sect or another. Fellatio, cunnilingus, prostitution, masturbation (with an impressive array of aids), anal sex, bestiality and even necrophilia were discussed, tolerated or encouraged. Against this historic backdrop, it is not surprising that Tantrism, a sect that utilized sex as a means to spiritual evolvement, would flourish.

The Birth of Tantrism

Although its true origins are unknown, there is speculation that Tantrism, like many other philosophical movements before and after, was a response to the prevailing social and political environment. At the time, only Brahmans, the highest caste, were allowed to perform Tantric rites. Many of its practices were deliberately aimed at breaking the caste system, while others flouted convention in lesser ways by using drugs, magic, and sexual intercourse as part of religious ritual. 

Tantrism can also be seen as a backlash against the ideal of an ascetic lifestyle. An equally convincing argument can be made that Tantrism was a natural philosophical-theological spin-off of a religion and culture that was steeped in sexual myth.

The ancient Tantric movement peaked between 700--1200 CE. Tantrism is so called because the practitioners adopted the teachings in the Tantra scriptures thought to have been written around 300 CE. Tantrism is considered by some as a part of the group of Hindu sect, the Shaktis, who venerate the feminine. This is in contrast to the Lingayatis who primarily worship male deities.

While there is little information as to the precise number of followers that Tantrism was able to attract, speculation is that its appeal was widespread throughout Indian society some three thousand years ago. Although it is thought that originally Tantrism drew its following from the middle and lower castes, it would eventually be the Brahmans that would practice the most elite form of the belief.

Later, Tantric aficionados  carried their philosophy and lifestyle to China (around 1000 CE). In the 14th century, while the Mongols ruled China, yet another stream of Tantric "missionaries" from Tibet revitalized the movement in a variation that held little of the Taoist elements of the original. The literature indicates the continued practice of Tantrism in India and China but provides little detail on the number of practitioners and depth of their practice. Specific reference is made of a Tantric sect in Bengal as recently as 1980.

I should also point out, that while scripture did indeed abound, most who lived the lifestyle had little to do with doctrine or dogma. It was, and is, far from a belief system.

Tantric Theology

The basic statement of Tantrism was that if the world was a reflection of the cosmic order, then people should seek enlightenment through experiencing it. Rather than pursuing asceticism, which was seen as a repudiation of the tactile, Tantrikas believed that a higher spiritual awareness could be achieved through indulgent (but controlled) sensory experience. The thought was that, if the world was an expression of divinity, then all in it must be divine, worthy to be worshipped rather than renounced. It was an apparently hedonistic creed, and its appeal must have been immense.

What was common of all the other different systems of the Hindu religion was that they were all ways to achieve freedom from perpetual reincarnation. The different systems accomplished this in different ways but all, with the exception of Tantrism, shared a philosophy of rejection. Among these were Nyaya, which advocated logic and clarity of thought, and Yoga, as well as Vedanta whose practitioners raised their spirituality through meditation.

Tantrism turned all of this on its head. It offered its practitioners freedom in one lifetime, not through study or meditation (at least in the lower stages), but rather through indulgence, and experiencing all that religions denied.




Recent Photograph of Rasa Von Werder

    Acquiring Female Energy

The way to accomplish union with the divine according to Tantrism, was to become one with the "World Soul" itself. Since Tantrism was a sect of the feminine it envisioned the "World Soul" as being encapsulated in the image of the goddess (Shakti). Another source depicts the most venerated Tantric deity as being a Shiva-like figure with both male and female parts. This manner of being was known as an ardhanari (hermaphroditism). In this situation Shakti is seen as the female component of Shiva and is often viewed as being in perpetual coupling with him. But even in this scenario, it is the female energy of the god that is coveted because it is this that will augment the male energy of the Tantric practitioner and hence enhance his spirituality.

Back in the mundane earthly world, there existed a microcosm of the cosmic order. The sought-after female energy could be found in earthly women. Although all men and women had both male and female energies in them, women naturally possessed more of the female force (this is what made them women). The way to appropriate some of this energy was through sexual intercourse. "The essence of Tantra is this union of male and female energy, a union that is both mental and physical. Due adoration cannot be paid to the mother goddess unless a man has sexual intercourse with a woman, as representing the Shakti, or female energy." The perceived necessity of acquiring this balance between male and female energies led some sects to require periodic sexual liaisons between monks and nuns.

This process was deemed so crucial to spiritual advancement that temples were built for this purpose. The most famous was built in 1565 CE in GuahatiAssam and dedicated to the goddess of love Kamakhya or simply Kama. As legend has it, it is on this site that a distraught Shiva dropped the genitals of a dismembered Shakti after her death, in fond remembrance of their long love-making sessions. The inner sanctum of the temple is a cleft that represents Shakti's yoni and is kept moist by a natural spring. "Kamakhya was worshipped not only by sexual intercourse,  but also in human sacrifice. Under British rule the human sacrifice was replaced by sacrificial goats."

Rituals and Practices

As in other Hindu sects, Tantric worship for some became very codified ritual. In this instance it took the form of the repetition of mantras and supervised religious ceremony. The more devoted practitioners meditated often and participated in more intricate ceremonies. While Tantra abounds with coloration and ritual, at the same time it is totally unattached to all methods. To some this is paradoxical. Indeed Tantra cannot be experienced with the mind.

Mantras

A mantra is a phrase or collection of syllables said deliberately and repeatedly, like a fugue in music. It can be voiced or silent. Mantrum is used as a form of meditation or brain entrainment. Their purpose is to concentrate and direct spiritual energy, by removing or quieting mind. The most commonly used and most popular Tantric mantra is "Om Mani Padme Aum" which literally translates to "the jewel is in the lotus" or is another way of saying "the lingam is in the yoni." While most mantras have a spiritual focus, any repetition of any sounds or words may be used. In some the events I conduct, I sometimes user repetition of CO-KA-CO-LA as a meditation Tantra is also playful.

Circle Worship

Chakrapuja which translates to "circle worship," was the basic ceremony for most Tantric practitioners. A small group of people would gather in the presence of their guru. It was the duty of the guru to supervise the proceedings and to make sure that the evening did not stray from it's holy purpose and deteriorate into an orgy. The male members of the group are referred to as vira ("heroes"), the female, as Shakti ("potencies").

The evening started with a mind heightening soma (such as wine or hashish), after which the couples proceeded to the other "four of the five enjoyments." These were: meat, grain, fruit and sexual intercourse. It is hypothesized that all five represented mild breaking of taboos of orthodoxy while connecting to the earth. The evening culminated in sexual intercourse, and it is this aspect of their worship that was most developed and which also deserves further analysis. Here is my description of the Maithuna ritual as an example of preparation.

Coitus Reservatus and Coitus Obstructus

From the perspective of the male practitioners, sexual intercourse in these circumstances was very purposeful. There were strict guidelines to follow. The goal was to increase the concentration of female energy in the male body. This was accomplished through extreme discipline and by following a prescribed methodology.

Intercourse could only take place when the woman was sexually excited, after which, depending on the sect, the man would not ejaculate at all or would do so only after the woman had at least one, or preferably many orgasms. The reasoning derived from the Hindu belief that through intercourse, semen -- both male (bindu) and female (amrita), could be concentrated in the body. It was then preferable to redirect the semen through the body rather than outside it as this then appropriated the female energy to the benefit of the male practitioner.

The practice of coitus reservatus was referred to in Sanskrit as askanda and was represented in artwork of the time by images of a flaccid lingam known colloquially as "down penis" or nicha medhra. The famous statue of the Jain saint, Gomatesvara, is depicted with such a "pendulous" penis.

It would appear that the process was not one of mutual sharing but rather of one party gaining power at the expense of the other. Done improperly then, the ritual could have the opposite effect. Writings warn that the male stood the chance that the situation would be reversed and the woman would gain his energy and strength! Thus he who knew the secret of sexual intercourse turned the good deeds of woman to himself but he, who without knowing this, practices sexual intercourse, his good deeds woman turn into themselves.

The idea of "cultivating" sexual energy from the woman by deferring or avoiding ejaculation can be found  in  Taoism. Taoists believed that women had much larger sexual appetites and the capacity for multiple orgasms and hence had more sexual energy. It was assumed that a woman could experience innumerable orgasms without experiencing any physiological, psychological, or sexual harm - and still be 'enlightened', whereas a man "once he ejaculates falls into a deep sleep, totally drained of all of his strength."  Therefore, a man should strive to bring a woman to many orgasms and delay his own because he would then benefit from her energy (her yin). The longer that a man could stay within the "jade chamber," and the more orgasms he could solicit from the woman, the more yin energy he could absorb.

 Advice to the Male Practitioner

It is important to note that the motivation for prolonged intercourse and encouraging sexual pleasure and orgasm in women was a sly and selfish male desire to gain female yin. To attain this goal, men were instructed to learn how to delay their own orgasm for as long as possible. They were advised to use mental meditative powers, self discipline and manual intervention (coitus obstructus). To avoid "premature ejaculation" (by Tantric standards), Master Tung-hsuan, a Chinese physician in the seventh century, advised that at the last moment, "the man closes his eyes and concentrates his thoughts: he presses his tongue against the roof of his mouth, bends his back, and stretches his neck. He opens his nostril wide and squares his shoulders, closes his mouth, and sucks in his breath. Then he will not ejaculate and the semen will ascend inward on its own account."

As Tantrism spreads from India into China (700 CE), there is more evidence of advice to men on this matter. From the book, Important Matters of the Jade Chamber, we get an account of the technique for coitus obstructus. "When, during the sexual act, the man feels he is about to ejaculate, he should quickly and firmly, using the fore and middle fingers of the left hand, put pressure on the spot between scrotum and anus (called the "million dollar point"), simultaneously inhaling deeply and gnashing his teeth scores of times, without holding his breath. Then the semen will be activated but not yet emitted, it returns from the Jade Stalk and enters the brain."

Once proficient in the ways of reliably gaining female energy (without the process backfiring), the Tantric practitioner engaged in regular ritual intercourse as a way of getting constant infusions of female energy. The Tantric interpretation of events was very similar to that of the Taoists. During intercourse, preferably in one of the convoluted positions advocated, a complex interaction between the female energy and the male navel chakra resulted in the conversion of the vital but previously constrained male semen into a vital force (referred to as bindu) which then, "... whisked up through ... to the chakra at the top of the head, "the thousand-petalled lotus," which opened into the void, the eternal bliss of nothingness. Thus the true Tantric adept became one with the dual-sexed World Soul."

For the majority of practitioners, this union would seem to have been a fleeting thing. More advanced Tantric practitioners sought a more permanent blissful state by employing a more sophisticated strategy. Interestingly, the prescribed rituals were such that the (male) practitioner would eventually be free from dependence on women.

Advanced Tantric Practices

For the dedicated Tantric practitioner who wished to attain the promise of bliss in a single lifetime, the rituals were to become increasingly solitary. At first, the (male) practitioner moved up the hierarchy through an initiation ceremony that involved having ritual intercourse with specially trained women known as a dakinis. The man, now known as a sadhaka, embarked on a process of intense meditation which included "liturgies, the uttering of mantras, mental visions, yogic postures, and what one authority charmingly describes as 'manipulation of the conjoined male and female energies.'"

The goal in this last practice was to develop the male and female energies that were now part of the practitioners body by the process of what could be conceptualized as "intercourse with oneself." The same result that was achieved fleetingly through sexual intercourse with women, could now be reliably reproduced within the male body thus enabling him to reach union with the divine.

Conclusions

The mystique of Tantric practices has fascinated the world since the days of it's peak inIndia. As the practices and rituals became known by other cultures, Tantrism was claimed by the cultures that "discovered it." This appropriation was often in a "smorgasbord" fashion where bits and pieces were selectively claimed. The Chinese codified the practices into elaborate sexual manuals that could be consulted by the average citizen. Later in history, the coitus obstructus technique, was used by the Turks, Armenians, and the islanders of the Marquesas, and the North American native Cherokees.

Tantra today has little to do with these ancient text. It is continually updated by the various practitioners, teachers and performers. That is indeed the central point...Tantra is dynamic and alive, and subject to change at every moment. In my events, I usually say that Tantra invites you to "expect the unexpected," and to become one with the very experience. Hence Tantra is not about scholarly text, ritual and surely not dogma.

In the late 1970's, sex researchers, Masters and Johnson  rediscovered that it was possible for men to be trained to experience the pleasure of orgasm (possibly several times) without ejaculation. When the western world "rediscovered" the same thing in very old eastern "Tantric" tradition, a renewed interest in the rituals and practices of Tantrism was sparked.

In studying history, religious or otherwise, it is important to be aware of three things (among others); The perspective an d filters of the writer, the reader's own cultural biases in trying to analyze the information presented, and the context of situation being studied. This must be considered in trying to understand Tantrism while conditioned, to one degree or another with a western point of view.

Much of the analysis of Tantrism has come from a "western" point of view which can be subtly (or overtly) tainted by the Judeo-Christian sex-negative and religious perspective. It is this perspective that leads to the interpretation of Tantrism as a "depraved" phenomena and conjures echoes of a Sodom and Gomorrah. Like any other philosophy or movement, Tantrism had its share of fanatics, but it was founded on well established practices, and served as a viable way for its practitioners to achieve spiritual enlightenment.

Regardless of the neutrality of the source, the western reader is also faced with a conceptual hurdle in studying Tantrism. There is something that will strike most as "intuitively" scandalous about "orgies" as worship. The impression that is left with most is that Tantrism was an excuse for an over-sexed society to practice its favorite form of recreation. This was precisely the response of the British during the years that they colonized India. Their cloistered Protestant Christian sensibilities were appalled by the "debauchery" around them. Indian scholars take pains to point out that Tantrism is a spiritual philosophy  and not a sexual movement.

As one scholar points out, Hindu and Buddhist critics "have constantly suggested that the Tantrika uses religion as a mantle for sexual desire and debauchery; the Tantrikas have constantly answered that the complicated, elaborate, and exceedingly difficult procedure followed by them  would not at all be necessary to gratify sexual desire, whose objects are much easier to obtain without any [such rigorous] trappings."  In other words, if having sex was the goal, there were easier ways to do it. Again, you should recognize and respect Tantrism for what it was, a valid effort to achieve spiritual enlightenment.

What I have saved for last is this. Tantra, at its core, is a philosophy of love, and universal adoration. This state of love consciousness is thought my many to be achieved only through the process of surrender, or letting go of all attachments, and to fully experience the joy and bliss of existence. To smell the flowers, taste  the wine, and enjoy beauty in al its myriad physical and spiritual forms.

Once you have assured yourself that, as much as possible, you are free of your ethnocentric blinders, you can then examine the records of history in the context of the time.

©1996 Swami Nostradamus Virato. All rights reserved

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Spiritual Poverty


Recent Photograph of Rasa Von Werder

This was written by Rasa Von Werder in 1983
Spiritual Poverty
As Taught by Our Lord Jesus Christ through
His Life and Words

POVERTY & CONTEMPLATION

THE MOST AMAZING FACT ABOUT OUR LORD’S ENTIRE LIFE IS HIS POVERTY.
THE ENTIRE GOSPEL IS HIS LABOR OF LOVE IN POVERTY.
FROM HIS BIRTH IN THE CAVE TO HIS DEATH ON THE CROSS: POVERTY
HE EMPTIED HIMSELF, HE REDUCED HIMSELF FOR US; “FOR I AM A WORM BUT NOMAN!”
IF FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN FEAR WE SHOULD IMITATE HIM.
ALL WHO LOVE HIM FOLLOW HIS EXAMPLE; “TAKE UP YOUR CROSS DAILY ANDFOLLOW ME,” AND THE GREATEST CROSS IS POVERTY.
“WHAT PROFIT A MAN IF HE GAINS THE WHOLE WORLD BUT LOSES HIS IMMORTAL SOUL?”
BY THE LOSS OF POVERTY MAN LOST HIS IMMORTAL SOUL.
THE LORD CAME TO EARTH TO TEACH POVERTY.
REDEMPTION IS THE TRIUMPH OF POVERTY.
MAN FELL BY WANTING TO BE SOMETHING OF HIMSELF.
BY WANTING TO BE SOMETHING OF HIMSELF HE LOST GOD.
GOD TAUGHT MAN HOW TO EMPTY HIMSELF SO HE COULD BE ONE WITH GOD AGAIN.
POVERTY IS A SCIENCE THAT MUST BE LEARNED BECAUSE ALL THE TENDENCIESWORK AGAINST IT.
IF IT WERE NOT SO DIFFICULT, WHY WOULD GOD HAVE HAD TO GO TO SUCH LENGTHS TO TEACH IT TO US?
THERE IS A RESISTANCE TO POVERTY SO THAT ITS ATTAINMENT IS THE SHEER FORCE OF THE WILL THAT ALLOWS THE SUPERNATURAL TO TAKE PLACE.
GOD SAID TO TAKE UP YOUR CROSS DAILY AND FOLLOW HIM.
THAT MEANS TO REDUCE YOURSELF DAILY AND BE LIKE HIM.
GOD IS LOVE. BUT GOD CANNOT WORK IN A SOUL THAT IS FILLED WITH SELF.
GOD CAME TO BRING LOVE, BUT WHERE WILL HE PUT IT?
THERE MUST BE A PLACE TO PUT THIS LOVE.
WAS THERE A PLACE ON EARTH FOR GOD TO BE BORN?
SALVATION IS HERE! BUT HOW MANY ARE WILLING TO RECEIVE IT?
WHAT IS THE REASON FOR THIS FAILURE ON MAN’S PART?
THE REASON IS THIS:
“FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON,”
BUT MAN SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE STOPPED LOVING GOD.


EXPLANATION OF THE HOLY GOSPEL OF OUR LORD JESUS
 CHRIST ACCORDING TO HIS TEACHINGS ON POVERTY

CHAPTER I
BIRTH OF JESUS

“My children, come and see my birth, the lowliest; and yet I was a King. But my Kingdom is not of this world, so this world did not welcome me.
In Chapter II of Luke there is an explanation of my birth in a manger, a place usually kept for animals, in absolute poverty. Why was I so poor? Was it fitting for a King to be born in a manger?
It was fitting because I wanted to teach you that a man’s life does not consist of his possessions and that God, who is no respecter of persons, will not judge you according to your rank in society. There you have at my birth two great lessons: Don’t care about the THINGS you have in the world; don’t care about WHO you are in the eyes of the world.
I had nowhere to lay my head when Mary and Joseph came to Bethlehem where it was destined that I be born. The world did not welcome me. There were only a few wise men who welcomed me: Those who came from the East and the shepherds nearby. These men were wise because God hides Himself from the proud and reveals Himself to the little ones.
I brought PEACE to men of good will, but the wicked found only alarm at my coming. King Herod from the first wanted to kill me, and he typifies those of the world who live FOR the world and therefore the things of God are a threat to them.
In Matthew, Chapter II is described how my mother and foster father had to flee into exile to escape my being killed.
“AN ANGEL OF THE LORD APPEARED TO JOSEPH IN A DREAM SAYING, ‘ARISE ANDTAKE THE CHILD AND HIS MOTHER, AND FLEE TO EGYPTAND REMAIN THERE UNTIL I TELL YOU; FOR HEROD IS GOING TO SEARCH FOR THE CHILD TO DESTROY HIM.’ AND HE AROSE AND TOOK THE CHILD AND HIS MOTHER BY NIGHT, ANDDEPARTED FOR EGYPT.” (Matt. 2:13,14)
Consider then the poverty of my parents who had to go to Bethlehem immediately when called to go on a journey of great discomfort and danger; and after a long and tiresome trip having nowhere to lay our Heads. And this is not a strange place but the hometown of Joseph, where he should have been welcomed with open arms! And you, my children, complain when you are not welcomed or accepted!
Soon after that Mother and Father had to go into exile to live with idolaters, heathens, pagans and lost Jews; to live in abject poverty until Joseph was told to bring me back.
In the desolation of Egypt our family often had not enough to eat, and yet we would no use the Power of God to alleviate our sufferings. And you, my children, petition God night and day for your comfort and happiness in earthly terms!
In contrast to your clamors for earthly things consider the righteous life of John the Baptist. It is described in Luke how my mother visited his mother while we were both still in their wombs. (Luke 1:36-80) At this time I sanctified John so he would be born without original sin.
Think of how he lived later on in the desert all alone, on locusts and wild honey, without human contact or alleviation, without human support. Consider how STRONG he became, being led by the Spirit of God and without thought of human respect or opinion. It was such a man as he who both WAS prepared and therefore COULD prepare others for my coming. Are you like him, or do you fear human respect? Do you fear loneliness and pain, both outward and inward? Or can you stand alone with no support but the Spirit of God in you?
Just before going to my desert fast I myself was baptized by John to show you, my children, how important this Sacrament is where the life of God begins in you and you are born of the Spirit.
I went through all the requirements of normal everyday life as well as complying to all the laws of religion throughout my earthly life. I also suffered and bore within myself much more than was necessary to obtain your salvation. I chose to go through all this because I came not as God in His Almighty Power, but as a Poor and Humble Servant because that is the lesson you, my children, needed to learn. Having lifted yourselves in sinful pride there was no way you could rise again until you had humbled yourselves to the dust. I had to teach you that humility.


CHAPTER II
JESUS 
FAST IN THE DESERT
“IF YOU WOULD WISH TO COME WITH ME DENY YOURSELF, TAKE UP YOUR CROSS,AND FOLLOW ME.” (Matt. 16:24)
My children, if you want to follow me you must prepare yourselves by mortification and suffering, lest on the way of your spiritual journey you fall.
In my desert fast I acquired all the graces necessary for you to live the ascetic and contemplative life, as well as the ability to bear with equal heart the applause and persecution of men.
If you wish to draw upon these graces I merited for you, go into seclusion and take nothing with you that you don’t need. At this point I want you to learn to live day by day without worry about the future, but only follow me.
I do not expect all of you to literally follow in my footsteps but in the spirit of those footsteps. Follow me as best you can, living alone if possible, and staying within yourself. Take no human alleviation you don’t need, living in the simple and mortified way, in the way of silence and religious seclusion.
At this time consider your whole life and what is to come as a sacrifice to me. Consecrate yourself to me wholly, holding nothing back, either physical or spiritual, and give up all your hopes and dreams for me.
Open your heart to me and examine its contents. Deny yourself everything you ever hoped for: fame and fortune, worldly goods and success. Renounce it all and want only MY WILL and whatever that will may bring you – even if it SEEMS to be failure.
Having prepared yourself thus armor yourself against Satan, who will now persecute you in various ways – most often through your mind. You must now keep your resolve.
Do not go back in thought to the fleshpots of Egypt. Having begun on a spiritual journey remain spiritual. When Satan excites your imagination or presents arguments against what you are doing remain calm, your mind fixed on Me and continue your prayers and exercises. Renounce Satan with your mind continuously and this is an exorcism.
Do not let your mind or senses wander into carnal things. When you are tempted or confused depend on the word of God in Holy Scripture and also on the strength of your faith to see you through. When Satan assails your mind, your imagination, you are still safe as long as you have your FAITH.
Satan knows your personality by watching your behavior. He will send people to tempt your weaknesses. This is why, during such a retreat, it is best to be alone. You must cut off friends and relatives and those who hold out prospects for material success in order to win for your mind must record the eternal and not the temporal plane.
Satan will goad you to return to the active life under various pretenses because he knows when you are outside he can better trip you up.
In the interior life Satan has little leverage for operation. When one is sincerely praying, fasting, thinking on God Satan can do very little. But outside, even when doing good, one can be deceived. That is why Satan HATES the religious life of seclusion more than any other.
FASTING is the touchstone of all mortification. It was in EATING that Adam and Eve fell, and it is in not eating that you stifle this defect. All other self denials as far as the body/mind combination follow this.
When you fast remember that Union with God is your goal and all else is the means to that end.
This obedience to the goal that is God is found in these words: “MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.”
Food is satisfaction or enjoyment; our enjoyment shall not be physical but pleasing God. When God is pleased, you are happy. I meant the same when I spoke to the disciples about having food they knew not of. When I spoke to the woman at the well I knew God’s will was being done and I said: “I HAVE FOOD TO EAT THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT. MY FOOD IS TO DO THE WILL OF HIM WHO SENT ME, AND TO ACCOMPLISH HIS WORK.” (John 4:32,34)
In the temptation in Matthew the devil took me to the Holy City and stood me on the pinnacle of the temple and said: “IF YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD THROW YOURSELF DOWN, FOR IT IS WRITTEN, ‘HE WILL GIVE HIS ANGELS CHARGE CONCERNING YOU,’ AND ON THEIR HANDS THEY WILL BEAR YOU UP, LEST YOU STRIKE YOUR FOOT AGAINST A STONE.” (Matt. 4:5,6)
Satan was tempting me to use God’s power for a foolish test; to impress the world.
The world understands signs and wonders. It judges by exterior things and demands that you produce them. But you must not care about the belief of the world or its favor; but only about what GOD thinks. That is why I said to Satan: “ON THE OTHER HAND, IT IS WRITTEN, ‘YOU SHALL NOT TEMPT THE LORD, YOUR GOD.’” (Matt. 4:7)
In the principle temptation to overcome, that of PRIDE, Matthew explains I was taken by the devil to a very high mountain and shown all the kingdoms of the world and their glory, and the devil said to me: “ALL THESE THINGS WILL I GIVE YOU, IF YOU FALL DOWN AND WORSHIP ME.”
These are all the temptations of the world put together. In you obedience to God, which is the principle virtue of all, you must say with me: “BEGONE SATAN! FOR IT IS WRITTEN, YOU SHALL WORSHIP THE LORD YOUR GOD, AND SERVE HIM ONLY” (Matt. 4:8-11) and the devil will leave you.
Adam and Eve first fell by Disobedience and in your stand you destroy this sin. Pride is the imitation of Lucifer who wanted to exalt himself, and man sins by self love or wanting one’s own PERSONAL – not SPIRITUAL – aggrandizement.
In order to offset pride, practice poverty and humility to their limits. Remember that God made you out of NOTHING. Begin your works by fasting and praying and come, follow me.


CHAPTER III
JESUS’ PUBLIC MINISTRY BEGINS: THE BEATITUDES

“FOLLOW ME, AND I WILL MAKE YOU FISHERS OF MEN.” (Mark 1:17)
Follow me because I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. My children, I would like to give you some words that should help you when you go into the active life:
THE APOSTLE
THE APOSTLE MUST GO WHERE PEOPLE ARE BUT NOT ENTER INTO THEIR KIND OF ACTIVITY. IF YOU LIE DOWN WITH PIGS YOU WILL GET UP DIRTY.
THE APOSTLE MUST NOT BE AFRAID TO ENTER ANYWHERE BUT MUST NOT PARTICIPATE IN A CARNAL LIFE.
THE APOSTLE IS ALWAYS ENCLOSED WITHIN THE HEART OF GOD, THE APOSTLE HASWALLS AROUND HER MADE UP OF GOD’S WILL. NONE MAY ENTER HERE.
THE WORLD MUST KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ITSELF AND THE APOSTLE. THE APOSTLE MUST MAKE CLEAR ‘I AM FOR GOD.’ THERE THE LINES ARE DRAWN.
THE APOSTLE CANNOT HOPE TO GAIN THE FAVOR OF THE WORLD ONCE THE WORLD KNOWS WHERE SHE STANDS, BUT SHE CAN HOPE TO GAIN CONVERTS.
In my first mission to Nazareth – my hometown – the Bethlehem scene was repeated and once more I was rejected by men: “NO PROPHET IS WELCOME IN HIS HOME TOWN.” (Luke 4:24)
The story of poverty continues throughout my ministry. Poverty, like a best friend, dogged me my entire life. And you, my child, cry over being rejected. Has anyone tried to throw you off a cliff? Has anyone send soldiers to have you killed?
My first great public sermon as recorded in Matthew Chapter Five and Luke Chapter Six was on POVERTY: The Sermon on the Mount. Within this sermon is the truth about every kind of poverty there is, and that all poverty is blessed if endured for the sake of God.
In the Beatitudes I teach my children that the Kingdom of God is not the kingdom of men, that what you experience in this life determines what you will have in all eternity, and that all sins and vices are destroyed by their contrary virtues. “BLESSED ARE THE POOR IN SPIRIT, FOR THEIRS IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.” (Matt. 5:3)
The spirit of the world wants wealth, but I said: “GO, SELL ALL YOU HAVE, GIVE TO THE POOR, AND FOLLOW ME.” (Matt. 19:21) And: “IT IS EASIER FOR A ROPE TO GO THROUGH THE EYE OF A NEEDLE THAN FOR A RICH MAN TO ENTER HEAVEN.” (Matt. 19:24)
These last two quotes I said to the rich young man who said he wanted to be perfect but was not willing to meet all the requirements. Will you unburden yourself of all in order to be with me?
I knew this young man was NOT following the Commandments to perfection, for if he had he would have already done what I said.
Perfection belongs to few for few are willing to pay its price. Poverty, chastity and obedience are inestimable graces which lead to perfection. But few ask for these graces, preferring the transitory goods of this world and spiritual comfort instead.
But if you wish to be perfect, I want you to understand an practice poverty to its fullest, giving up attachment and desire for all things but ME.
“BLESSED ARE THEY WHICH DO HUNGER AND THIRST AFTER RIGHTEOUSNESS, FOR THEY SHALL BE FILLED.” (Matt. 5:6)
The term “righteousness” also means the Kingdom of God or the interior life. Center yourselves within – thirst for it – and you will be satisfied. For if you pour yourselves out into the world you will never be satisfied and make yourselves unfit for the Kingdom of God.
Righteousness also means justice or TRUTH, and blessed are those who seek justice for that is also the Kingdom of God. Seek ye first the Kingdom, thirst for it, and you shall obtain all else!
“BLESSED ARE THE MERCIFUL, FOR THEY SHALL OBTAIN MERCY.” (Matt. 5:7)
My children, would you like to be treated with mercy or justice? By justice you would be condemned, but by mercy you are saved. Don’t you think you should treat others as God has treated you? Don’t you see that revenge on your part brings down upon yourselves the wrath of God?
Always seek mercy when you have sinned and always show mercy to those who have sinned against you and you shall be blessed.



Kellie Everts, (Rasa Von Werder)

“BLESSED ARE THE PURE IN HEART, FOR THEY SHALL SEE GOD” (Matt. 5:8)
Is a magnificent promise. It means that you must purge yourselves, my children of all desires that are not God. You must remove not only the bad, but even the good which stands between you and God! For: “EYE HAS NOT SEEN, EAR HAS NOT HEARD, NOR HAS IT SO MUCH AS DAWNED ON MAN WHAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.” (1 Cor. 2:9)
To be perfectly pure you must realize your own nothingness and God’s Allness. You cannot reach God by clinging to ANYTHING but by releasing everything you CAN find God. You cannot see God with the senses nor by the imagination. Only by letting go all your faculties and reason can you find union with God by Faith, Hope and Charity.
Once you have relinquished all and found union with God you will be truly blessed for you will not want anything else. Seeing is believing. You will know what happiness is once you have been on the blessed road of union with God and then the world, flesh and devil will have lots of trouble making inroads in you.
“BLESSED ARE THE PEACEMAKERS, FOR THEY SHALL BE CALL SONS OF GOD.” (Matt. 5:9)
My child, when you are at peace you sow and reap peace. Do not seek the peace of this world but only eternal. In my greatest sufferings I had peace. Do you find peace in your pleasures? True peace is acceptance of the cross. As long as you fight against it there will be a war within. But when you resign yourself to God’s will, whatever suffering that may entail, you truly find peace not of this world.
“BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN PERSECUTED FOR THE SAKE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, FOR THEIRS IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.”
“BLESSED ARE YOU WHEN MEN REVILE YOU, AND PERSECUTE YOU, AND SAYALL KINDS OF EVIL AGAINST YOU FALSELY, ON ACCOUNT OF ME,”
“REJOICE, AND BE GLAD, FOR YOUR REWARD IN HEAVEN IS GREAT, FOR SO THEY PERSECUTED THE PROPHETS WHO WERE BEFORE YOU.” (Matt. 5:10,11,12)
How bitter are these statements to those who want the world! But how sweet to those who are crucified with me!
Which would you prefer – pleasures now and eternal damnation or bitterness now and eternal pleasure? Do you want glory now and humiliation forever or poverty now and glory in eternity? Remember that:
“WHOEVER EXALTS HIMSELF SHALL BE HUMBLED; AND WHOEVER HUMBLES HIMSELF SHALL BE EXALTED.” (Matt. 22:32)
“FOR WHOEVER WISHES TO SAVE HIS LIFE SHALL LOSE IT; BUT WHOEVER LOSES HIS LIFE FOR MY SAKE SHALL FIND IT.” (Matt. 16:25)
“FOR WHAT PROFIT A MAN IF HE GAINS THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOSES HIS SOUL? OR WHAT WILL A MAN GIVE IN EXCHANGE FOR HIS SOUL?” (Matt. 16:26)
These last three statements are the summation of my doctrine, for by giving ALL of yourself to God you gain ALL. Blessed be all of you who follow my way!


CHAPTER IV
JESUS TEACHES PERFECTION
“YOU ARE TO BE PERFECT, AS YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER IS PERFECT.” (Matt. 5:48)
In this statement, my children, I stated my law, which is mercy and love rather than justice. I taught you to be merciful to one another as I have been merciful to you, forgiving your sins instead of condemning you.
My new law was not one of abolishment but fulfillment of the old law to its perfection. The love of one another determines how much you love me, for God has no need of anything, but your brother does. Perfection is in the first two Commandments: “YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOURMINDAND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH. AND YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.” (Mark 12:30,31)
I did not separate the love of God from love of oneself, for when you love God you also love yourself. Love for others springs out of this. But this love for others must not be carnal. The spiritual kingdom is first, for: “HE WHO LOVES FATHER OR MOTHER MORE THAN ME IS NOT WORTHY OF ME, AND HOW WHO LOVES SON OR DAUGHTER MORE THAN ME IS NOT WORTHY OF ME.” (Matt. 8:39)
Not only do I separate you from your family and friends if needs be, but even from your very self, for: “HE WHO WANTS HIS LIFE SHALL LOSE IT, AND HE WHO LOSES HIS LIFE FOR MY SAKE SHALL FIND IT.” (Matt. 8:39)
The PEACE that I bring is NOT OF THIS WORLD: “DO NOT THINK THAT I CAME TO BRING PEACE ON THE EARTH. I DID NOT COME TO BRING PEACE, BUT A SWORD” (Matt. 8:34)
My Kingdom is not of this world, so I come to separate you from this world! But do not fear, for I bring you a new family in Christ, more lasting than the one from before!
“FOR WHOEVER SHALL DO THE WILL OF MY FATHER, WHO IS IN HEAVEN, HE IS MY BROTHER AND SISTER AND MOTHER.” (Matt. 12:50)
Do not cling to the flesh! Think of my mother who gave me up to die for the salvation of men! If you cling to people and the things of the world you will not be ready when I call you to the eternal feast: “A RICH MAN GAVE A BIG DINNER, AND HE INVITED MANY, BUT EVERYONE HAD EXCUSES; MANY, LEGITIMATE EXCUSES, ONE MAN WAS TRYING OUT SOME OXEN, ANOTHER HAD JUST GOTTEN MARRIED, THEN THE MAN GO ANGRY ANDTOLD HIS SLAVE TO CALL OUT THE WRETCHED AND MISERABLE, AND FOR THESE HE HAD THAT GLORIOUS SUPPER.”
Which do you want to be when Jesus calls – the one too busy in worldly affairs, or the one ready and able, perhaps from adverse circumstances, to heed his call?
Do not seek the Kingdom of God in externals. This is what those BUSY people were doing. STOP! For happiness is within: “THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS NOT COMING WITH SIGNS TO BE OBSERVED; NOR WILL THEY SAY, ‘LOOK, HERE IT IS!’ OR, ‘THERE IT IS!’ FOR BEHOLD, THE KINGDOM OF GOD IS IN YOUR MIDST.” (Luke 17:20,21)
Happiness is obeying the will of God. It is doing good. But those who seek happiness in sense pleasures will be sadly awakened: “A RICH MAN HABITUALLY DRESSED IN PURPLE ANDFINE LINED, GAILY LIVING IN SPLENDOR EVERY DAY, WHILE A BEGGAR NAMED LAZARUS LANGUISHED OUTSIDE HIS DOOR, BEGGING FOR SCRAPS. WHEN THE RICHMAN DIED, AND SO DID LAZARUS, THE FIRST WENT TO HELL, THE SECOND TOPARADISE. WHAT GOOD DID ALL HIS PLEASURES GIVE HIM? (Taken from Luke 16:19-31)
How soft in the head, how blind and insensitive to the needs of others the rich become! How self-defeating is the concept of hedonism, for the pleasure you have now is paid for in extreme pain! Beware this wealth, which can consume and destroy you from within, and consider the safety of poverty, which is loving the cross.
Those who are consumed be CARNAL CARES are the ones whom the Word was sown among thorns: “AND OTHERS ARE THE ONES ON WHOM SEED WAS SOWN AMONG THE THORNS; THESE ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE HEARD THE WORD, AND THE WORRIES OF THE WORLD, AND THE DECEITFULNESS OF RICHES, AND THE DESIRES FOR OTHER THINGS ENTER IN AND CHOKE THE WORD, AND IT BECOMES UNFRUITFUL.” (Mark 4:18,19)
Understand the “Word” to be my grace, Light and concepts which are put into your soul like seeds. But if you allow extra added desires to grow in you, these will stifle the good, and the good will not produce results. You will let that which is good be consumed by that which is bad, and you will lose grace and the God that is in your soul. Therefore, you must empty yourself for God, for: “NO ONEPUTS NEW WINE INTO OLD WINESKINS; OTHERWISE THE WINE WILL BURST THE SKINS, AND THE WINE IS LOST, AND THE SKINS AS WELL; BUT ONE PUTS NEW WINE INTO FRESH WINESKINS.” (Mark 2:22)
You must cleanse yourself of all your old desires before God can take over. That means all your ideas, feelings and aspirations that go with these desires, or else there is no room for God! Burn your bridges behind you! Renounce, sacrifice, before Christ can fill you, for: “HE HAS FILLED THE HUNGRY WITH GOOD THINGS; AND SENT AWAY THE RICH EMPTY HANDED.” (Luke 1:53)
Bring me your emptiness, which is all I want! Your emptiness is worth more than all the millions others give me, for: “THEY ALL PUT IN OUT OF THEIR SURPLUS, BUT SHE, OUT OF HER POVERTY, PUT IN ALL SHE OWNED, ALL SHE HAD TO LIVE ON.” (Mark 12:44)
In profound poverty you have more power with me than the RICH who give of their abundance. In your poverty you are powerful; in your wealth you are weak before God.
Is it not out of pride that people want to be rich? But you are a sinner! You cannot be justified if you think anything of yourself, for: “THE TAX GATHERER, STANDING SOME DISTANCE AWAY, WAS EVEN UNWILLING TO LIFT UP HIS EYES TO HEAVEN, BUT WAS BEATING HIS BREAST, SAYING, ‘GOD, BE MERCIFUL TO ME, THE SINNER! I TELL YOU, THISMAN WENT DOWN TO HIS HOUSE JUSTIFIED RATHER THAN THE OTHER; FOR EVERYONE WHO EXALTS HIMSELF SHALL BE HUMBLED, BUT HE WHO HUMBLES HIMSELF SHALL BE EXALTED.” (Luke 18:9-14)
All that you ADD to yourself, be it spirit, mind or body, takes away from your chances of being united with God. And you, children, consume yourselves with things, and even pray for them!
My whole life was the story of poverty from my birth in the crib to my death on the Cross, when finally I said: “MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME?” (Mark 15:34)
I even suspended in myself the Divine effects in order to suffer more. No one can ever suffer as I, your God, suffered for you in order to save you.
I remain with you IN MY POVERTY until I come again in GLORY, I remain in the tabernacles, waiting for you as HOLY FOOD, alone and neglected, loved by very few.
My suffering remains not only in the Sacrament on the Altar but in my chosen souls.
You ask for signs and wonders, but my poverty is my sign and wonder, my wealth the suffering of my chosen souls. I did not tell you to conquer the world by your greatness but to reduce yourself as the servant of all. Since my Kingdom is not of this world, you must not seek the honors of this world.
I want you not to rest in external things but only in ME. Be comfortable only in the will of God, no matter what PHYSICAL displeasure that may bring. I rebuke all those who reject the Cross, saying: “GET BEHIND ME, SATAN! YOU ARE A STUMBLING BLOCK TO ME; FOR YOU ARE NOT SETTING YOUR MIND ON GOD’S INTERESTS, BUT MAN’S.” (Matt. 16:23)
Isn’t the greatest miracle that God allowed himself to be put to death by men? Therefore, if you want God you must also accept true death to self.
Follow me in the footsteps of my Passion and Death; and, weep not for me, but for your sins which made this happen!


CHAPTER V
THE PASSION OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST
“BEFORE HE WAS GIVEN UP TO DEATH,
A DEATH HE FREELY ACCEPTED.
HE TOOK BREAD 
AND GAVE YOU THANKS.
HE BROKE THE BREAD,
GAVE IT TO HIS DISCIPLES, 
AND SAID:
TAKE THIS, 
ALL OF YOU, AND EAT IT:
THIS IS MY BODY WHICH WILL BE GIVEN UP FOR YOU.
WHEN SUPPER WAS ENDED, HE TOOK THE CUP,
AGAIN HE GAVE YOU7 THANKS 
AND PRAISE,
GAVE THE CUP TO HIS DISCIPLES, 
AND SAID:
TAKE THIS, 
ALL OF YOU, AND DRINK FROM IT:
THIS IS THE CUP OF MY BLOOD,
THE BLOOD OF THE 
NEW AND EVERLASTING COVENANT,
IT WILL BE SHED FOR YOU 
AND FOR ALL
SO THAT SINS 
MAY BE FORGIVEN.
DO THIS IN MEMORY OF ME,”
(Prayer taken from the Mass.)
“My child, all those who wish to follow me must eat my body and drink my blood, or they can have no part in me. This means unity. Unity is sameness, a merging one into the other – like marriage for better or worse. One flesh with each other we enjoy each other’s sorrows as well as joys.
My body and blood is strength, but it is also pain. Through my sorrow, you gain strength. By partaking of that pain willingly you gain its merits. Loving me in sorrow you love yourself, and true contrition implies you are willing to pay for your sins.
During the Last Supper I instituted the Blessed Sacrament. This Sacrament is the center of your spiritual life. I suffer greatly when people don't appreciate the Eucharist because it is my life that I gave.
When I went into the Garden of Olives I suspended the effects of my Divinity in order to suffer the utmost for men. I also left the disciples at this time to their own merits and that is why they fell. This fulfilled the prophecy: "YOU WILL ALL FALL AWAY BECAUSE OF ME THIS NIGHT, FOR IT IS WRITTEN, 'I WILL STRIKE DOWN THE SHEPHERD, AND THE SHEEP OF THE FLOCK SHALL BE SCATTERED.'" (Matt. 26:31)
The Passion separates the faithless from the believer. When I first announced it many false converts fell away: "I AM THE LIVING BREAD THAT CAME DOWN OUT OF HEAVEN; IF ANY ONEEATS OF THIS BREAD, HE SHALL LIVE FOREVER; AND THE BREAD ALSO WHICH I SHALL GIVE FOR THE LIFE OF THE WORLD IS MY FLESH." (John 6:51)
"MANY THEREFORE OF HIS DISCIPLES, WHEN THEY HEARD THIS SAID, 'THIS IS A DIFFICULT STATEMENT; WHO CAN LISTEN TO IT?'" (John 6:60)
They could not understand it and instead of having simple faith like Peter, when he said: "LORD, TO WHOM SHALL WE GO? YOU HAVE WORDS OF ETERNAL LIFE," (John 6:68) they walked with me no more.
During the Passion itself lines were drawn more distinctly. Now those who didn't "understand" or actually refused to believe betrayed me and crucified me. Those who stood by, even when they faltered, were the believers.
The Passion comes to all. When that hour comes it will be HARD. You must pray and watch against the time of temptation - don't let it catch you unconscious or sleeping. Your action on that day will determine your eternity, so beware. The devil has his DAY, but God has his ETERNITY.
When is the last time you went to Confession and Communion? When is the last time you prayed fervently, fasted? How strong is your virtue, your charity? The day of sorrow, that day which racks you to the bone, will tell. For on that day, left to your own resources, it will be seen how deep are your roots into eternity.
And this trial HAS to happen, for without a contest, there can be no prize, without a battle, no victory. Spiritual discipline is vital toward that day, for no one can win without virtue! That is the meaning of my statement: "NOW JUDGMENT IS UPON THIS WORLD; NOW THE RULER OF THIS WORLD SHALL BE CAST OUT."
In this JUDGMENT my Body separates the good from the evil. I separate the LIVING from the DEAD. Those who rejected me were marked people. They lived on in the framework of time, but time only separated them from the pit. Therefore, they were not really living but existing.
Be warned about your own trials like this: "FOR A LITTLE WHILE LONGER THE LIGHT IS AMONG YOU. WALK WHILE YOU HAVE THE LIGHT, THAT DARKNESS MAY NOT OVERTAKE YOU; HE WHO WALKS IN THE DARKNESS DOES NOT KNOW WHERE HE GOES.
WHILE YOU HAVE THE LIGHT, BELIEVE IN THE LIGHT, IN ORDER THAT YOUMAY BECOME SONS OF LIGHT." (John 12:35,36)
The most difficult part of the trial is the fact that you no longer have the LIGHT, which means you cannot see or understand. Seeing is knowing and believing. But when that Light fails you, (and it must,) you must still go on in Faith, Hope and Charity, and forgiving others for what they have done to you!
In Genesis 41:1-37 Joseph advised Pharaoh because of his dream to store up against the time of famine. The dark day is the time of famine for which you must store up virtue. Not having virtue, you will starve for need of the Light.
And in the story of Jacob and Esau, where Esau sold his birthright for a meal, this is like selling your soul to the devil or being consumed by earthly pleasures. Then when the time of NEED comes you have no blessing for you have no RIGHT to it! Virtue, which you have practiced all along, gives you such a right.
Mary Magdalene, the repentant sinner, had the right to heaven for she was willing to pay for her sins. Whereas Judas had no such right for he wanted to cling to his life of earthly things and lost it. What profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his immortal soul?
When I thought about my death I said: "NOW MY SOUL HAS BECOME TROUBLED; ANDWHAT SHALL I SAY, 'FATHER, SAVE ME FROM THIS HOUR?' BUT FOR THIS PURPOSE I CAME TO THIS HOUR. FATHER, GLORIFY THY NAME." (John 12:27,28)
Will your last hour be your finest, or your worst? Have your pains strengthened you in love or hardened you in hatred? In that last hour how much you have resisted the world, flesh and devil throughout your lifetime will tell. If you have not - that will tell, too.
After I warned my followers about the things to come I HID MYSELF just as I will hide myself when your BIG TEST comes. No more miracles now! Only the sign of Jonah - which means darkness. My humanity will not comfort you now, nor my Divinity light up your way. Like Jonah in the belly of a whale or Job sitting on a dung heap is how you will feel.
The miracles were to strengthen your FAITH - not endlessly feed your senses. Blessed are those who do NOT see and believe! Having fed your senses by miracles - by healings - by blessings - I want you now to walk like grown ups, not like children waiting for another handout. ENOUGH MIRACLES! You must now go through the valley of the shadow of death.
I told the Apostles that I was going and would prepare a place for them. I warned them many times about my coming Passion, but Thomas said they didn't even know where I was going - so how could they know the way? I said: "I AM THE WAY, AND THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE; NO ONECOMES TO THE FATHER, BUT THROUGH ME." (John 14:6)
Philip said he wanted to see the Father, and that would be enough. Hadn't he learned by now that he who had seen me had seen the Father? My disciples were playing games with me!
While they were playing games I was sweating Blood, and how much of this Blood they would receive would determine their degree of charity. That's why I said in my Father's house were many mansions, and I would go prepare a place for them.
FOREWORD TO THE PASSION OF CHRIST:
"The Lord then rose to depart from the hall of the miraculous feast and also most holy Mary left Her retreat in order to meet Him on the way. At this face to face meeting of the Prince of eternity and of the Queen, a sword of sorrow pierced the Hearts of Son and Mother, inflicting a pang of grief beyond all human and angelic thought. The sorrowful Mother threw Herself at the feet of Jesus, adoring Him as Her true God and Redeemer. The Lord, looking upon Her with a majesty divine and at the same time with the overflowing love of a Son, spoke to Her only these words: "MY MOTHER, I SHALL BE WITH THEE IN TRIBULATION; LET US ACCOMPLISH THE WILL OF THE ETERNAL FATHER AND THE SALVATION OF MEN."
"MYSTICAL CITY OF GOD," Ven. Mary of Agreda TRANSFIXION, Chapter XII: 493


CHAPTER VI:
 THE DEATH OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST

"When I went into the Garden, I saw all the sins of the world. Can you know what that means? I saw all the sins against myself, and these sins weighed upon me heavily for they were like an albatross around my neck, causing me to feel the sinfulness of man instead of my own mercy!
Here I had to overcome my aversion and disgust for man's sins and plunge into heartrending sorrow for people to be saved. It was intolerable that I had to shed my Blood for even those who would not avail themselves of it! My wasted Blood caused me so much pain!
No one would help me except my mother. The Apostles and the Holy Women, especially Mary Magdalene, loved me, but their love was too carnal and so weak and imperfect. They could not endure.
I came to know, little by little, as the bloody drops of sweat poured off my face and body that it had to be so. I had always known it, yet it was so difficult to bear the Passion when it really happened. It is because you can know something in your mind for a long time, but that does not make living it any easier.
When they came for me I was ready. I said, "I AM HE," and they fell, though not all. Those who would never "fall" for me in love remained standing. The Holy Spirit did not penetrate them.
Then Judas betrayed me with a kiss. Isn't it always that way? The one closest to you who puts the knife in your back - and that's why it hurts so much.
Words cannot describe my anguish when my hour came. If you knew all that I went through physically in detail you still could not measure the pain in my soul. Oh, I loved so much! And to love so much and be nailed to the Cross because one loves is unbearable pain!
They acted like I would run away from them, but how could I? I, the most obedient who ever lived, obedient to the death of the Cross! I allowed them to torture me so I could pay for the sins of the world.
The whole procession of enemies: Annas, Caiaphas, Pilate, then Herod, were responsible yet it hurt me so much that the humble little people went along with them - these very same people which I healed and blessed! Why couldn't my sheep follow me?
They came and went, my enemies, the whole murderous gang, and so it is down through the ages. You, my little flock, prevail against a lifetime of enemies down through the ages since I passed. But can these enemies every destroy Truth? Never! That is the exceeding joy of it all: No matter what they do to us, they cannot prevail against FAITH! They cannot destroy God Almighty!
God is invincible. He is immeasurable and without pain. But mortals can feel pain, and that is why I became one of you to feel pain and give you Bread from Heaven. I joined my infinite power to the human body to be able to suffer perfect pain, perfect sorrow, and perfect love. In this perfection of love and sorrow is atonement for sin that could not otherwise be forgiven.
Mother endured with me totally this conglomeration of pain. Her cooperation was so great that all the ingratitude of the rest of humanity was made up for. Mother was the right arm of my Passion and death. She kept me from grief and despair for without the return of her love the motive for my death would have been lacking. What would I have died for? No one else REALLY loved me!
I emphasize this: Mother made up for the lack of love of the whole human race! Her love, her gratitude, her participation made her the co heiress of the whole task of redemption. In her personage was the REASON to leave my Body and Blood and without her cooperation - it would have been a waste!
They dragged me down to the court. Words cannot describe the barbarism that was heaped upon me, for in this hour mortals deprived of reason and faith fell lower than beast - they were demons.
Pilate was more excusable than the Pharisees for he knew less. He was a Roman and pagan. Yet he fell into the same demonic heap as they for he judged the things of God by the desires of men.
Caiaphas was the power-hungry, vain ambitious person who would destroy anyone who got in his way. He envied my esteem in the eyes of men. He and the others longed to destroy my reputation yet they couldn't take away my power. Those who want position in the world envy the humble when they are esteemed for their better qualities and will do anything to crush them.
The idolatrous Romans represent those who are blind. Even when God is among them they don't see Truth for their vision is fragmented into things.
The Pharisees fell under the worst condemnation for they knew the Truth or SHOULD have known it.  They BLINDED themselves as do all who refuse to see even when the truth is plain as day. Not only had the Scriptures pointed my way, but I had come in person and showed them!
So it has been through the ages. My chosen ones have always spoken truth and been condemned for it because the evil are convicted by TRUTH.
Could anyone have had more malice than Judas? The lowest place in Hell is reserved for those who have been closest to me. Judas walked and talked and ate with me for three years. He enjoyed my doctrine and even implemented it. But not all those who say "Lord" and do healings by my name will be saved. For they are wolves in sheep's clothing and demons disguised as angels! Beware those of you who are chosen! And beware of those who are chosen but are reprobates in disguise!
Did anyone love me more intensely than Peter? But his love was too human! Peter was a man of action - zealous, exterior. When trouble came he wasn't ready for he hadn't watched and prayed enough. Let that be a lesson to those who, although they love, do not guard enough their interior life.
The Apostles fled for they had not yet attained to true interior love, but watched for signs and wonders. Shall I show you the Father? When you have seen me, you have seen the Father! Become like me and you will know the Father.
My child, the week before I was put to death there was a triumphal parade with People shouting, "Hosanna - King of the Jews - our prophet, our leader." But think of my dismay the following week when these SAME PEOPLE wagged their heads as I came by in my Passion! Your friends, who formerly patted you on the back when times were good abandon you in your most bitter struggle. And my case - as God and Savior - is different than yours or anyone's could ever be. I was the Messiah who healed and worked innumerable miracles. Many saw and BELIEVED! Why believed then - scorned now? Because they were the shallow earth in whom the word of God does not take ROOT and so withers away at first chastisement.
And what of others, including my own Apostles - so badly shaken? What happened to their belief, "You are the Christ, the Messiah?" It was because they believed in EXTERNAL THINGS. As long as the Light was seen by them in outside signs, wonders, they believed. When the Light receded from PHYSICAL view they no longer grasped it.
How many Christians are there today who believe in signs and wonders and fall away at the sign of the Cross? How many are teaching the God of blessings but not the God of sufferings? How many Christians bewail their fate when "bad" luck reaches them instead of praising God and being patient and forgiving?
The CROSS is the deciding factor between true and false Christian. Anyone can believe in signs and wonders and love the God of giving. But how many follow me to the Cross and stay upon it when I am nailed? How many run away from the sign of the Cross?
Here on the cross, the bed of nails, is your safest place; for here you are truly united with me, your suffering Savior in my darkest hour. Can you be sure you are with me in your joys? But you can be SURE you are with me in pain - so be sure to accept it with love.
That is the difference between the worldling and the Christian. The worldling - by whatever devise he has, including religion - serves personal self. The Christian serves God no matter what self discipline that may entail. The worldling USES the power of God when he can, the Christian IS like God in the person of the Savior - and the Savior, remember, came to suffer and obey, to live in POVERTY.
Pilate said, "What is truth," and made himself unworthy of my reply. He walked away from me when I could have said: "I AM THE WAY, AND THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE. NO ONE COMES TO THE FATHER BUT BY ME." (John 14:6)
What did I come to teach? Was it signs and wonders, physical healings? Signs and wonders are attention getters. When my mother caused me to work the miracle at Cana I taught that by public wonders I would bring my hour of darkness closer to myself. Miracles were for the purpose that people would believe the Messiah and follow him. BELIEVERS were many, but FOLLOWERS few!
Of all my signs and wonders my greatest was my last and how different from the miracle at Cana! The first was a marriage of great happiness. I had many followers then, drinking pleasant wine. But the second marriage, the one of pain, found me almost alone. Only my mother saw the beauty in me when I was with my Cross!
Can you see then my joy and relief when I saw the beautiful Bride, my mother, waiting to meet me along the road of Calvary? Everyone else had left me. This wedding was more profound, much greater than the first. But my mother was the only one who wanted to marry me now! - Which means to unite with me in my pain, to want me and love me in my most utter suffering!
Here, beside the Cross, clashed at war the two kingdoms of good and evil. On my side I longed to be united with my Bride, the good, represented by my mother. This meant I had to give my Humanity and my Divinity to the Church, to the good, to my mother, all one and the same.
On the other side, Satan, tearing away my flesh, breaking it apart through tortures, which meant separating me from my Bride and destroying my children (which are both the same.) Here my Blood was wasted, there my Flesh torn and thrown about symbolizing all those who were separated from me!
I suffered innumerable tortures throughout my Passion. I writhed like a worm in my own Blood. Did I stay at the right hand of my Father where I could have been comfortable? Did I glory in my power on earth? Or did I lower myself to suffer and die for you?
Now you: Do you wish to glorify yourself after seeing me in my tortures?
They beat me till my bones were exposed - clothes ripped on and off me, ripping open my wounds many times. Bleeding, shaking, exhausted, I had nowhere to hide myself, to cover myself and not a word of kindness from anyone.
The Crown of Thorns was a helmet, piercing my whole head and eyes with long, sharp thorns. My limbs were dislocated as they pulled them apart to fasten my arms and legs to the Cross.
But what did I suffer most, my pain? Of course not. I suffered most that my children WOULD NOT RECEIVE MY LOVE.
When Pilate said, "BEHOLD THE MAN," people gasped at my misery. Did they believe in their Messiah now? Could their Messiah be revolting and bleeding, ugly, not beautiful, and poor? No - they wanted glory, beauty and power to lead them and could not believe that I, their Savior, could be God stumbling along with a Cross upon my back!
The problem of their faith was this: The Holy Scriptures described the Messiah under two aspects, one of glory and one of suffering. It failed to explain, and so people did not understand ahead of time that I had to come first as a suffering Savior, and then only later, at the Second Coming, in my power and glory to vanquish my enemies.
And so it stood in their minds because they didn't WANT to believe the suffering part - that they waited and reveled in the GLORIOUS Savior, not the suffering one. So it is even to this very day: People want to believe in the God of PLEASURE and HAPPINESS which translates spiritually into healings and miracles - not fastings, humiliations and pains.
But I show the TRUE way to repentance and salvation. How I longed for the wood of the Cross, and how you should long for that which brings you closer to God, no matter what it is. Pain is a means to an end. It destroys that which stands between us and that is the reason for it. Pain will cleanse you and dilate your heart for love and grace.
The meaning of the man Simon who helped me carry the Cross is this: Many would follow me only because they HAD to for material or other consideration. But after a while, they would help out of true love because of the grace I would give them.
Veronica was a brave woman, doing what most people couldn't do, which was to give public testimony of love to an unpopular person. She stuck her neck out for the sake of love.
The women of Jerusalem whom I corrected were weeping for the flesh, but I taught them to bewail the SINS of mankind rather than the PAINS of mankind. The sins which caused the suffering must be paid for. Weep not for pain; weep for sins which CAUSE the pain.
There is much to tell about my Passion to mankind, but most would not be ready, for hearts must be great enough to bear such pain. But I tell you that if Virgin Mother's pain was too great for any mortal to understand this side of heaven, how could anyone understand mine now or in eternity?
At last, I got to the top of the hill where they would crucify me on the dry wood of the Cross. The earth was green and life was in men, but what kind of life? Know that any other life but mine in you is not living but existing.
Consider the earth and how time is measured by days, weeks, months. Your life processes and heartbeat are a measure of time. But where I am, and where you must be there is no time. In this timeless Kingdom there is a whole new set of rules and no matter how much you know of this plane you will not be able to know my Kingdom unless the Spirit of God lives in you.
This Kingdom does not exist according to earthly rules. But in faith you must give up your old ways and enter into this new Kingdom. Sacrifices and renouncement come first, then I will give you the Kingdom; for if I gave you the Kingdom of God before you gave up the world there would be no element of sacrifice on your part. This principle of sacrifice is the essential element in your journey toward God.
Understand that God needs nothing. Whatever you do for Him is for your own development. And when God chastises, punishes and corrects you it is for your acquisition of eternal life.
My Passion exemplified the tortures of men from time immemorial, including them all, which would perfect mankind for God's grace. This grinding to the dust through pain would prove the most effective means of bringing people to God. If there were a better way, I would have taught it.
When I climbed the hill of Calvary and mounted the Cross I exemplified the greatest sacrifice of all: that of giving my whole Heart, Soul, Mind and Body to God. Mortals give lip service to the First Commandment without knowing what it means. It means the sacrifice that I have shown. Let your life's study be this: self immolation and each and every day following the will of God as best you know how.
As I hung on the Cross, my bed of pain and the highest bridal chamber, I thought of all of you. I thought of those who would refuse my Kingdom by following their own will. But to my lovers I gave all I had. I thirsted to give this love and infinite bounty to souls.
My intense suffering was for those who would not obey and so deprive themselves of eternal life! I also grieved over the good who would receive a little amount of grace and shut themselves off from its further reception. There is an INFINITE amount of my love waiting to consume you!
What more could I give? IT WAS CONSUMMATED: The greatest life ever lived! How glad I was to appease my Father for the sins of people and leave my Life as Food, my Body and Blood for mortals to live on!
If you really want to show me your love you will receive me as often as possible in the Blessed Sacrament. In this Sacrament we are united. There is nothing you can do on earth that is more profitable or pleasing to me. For if you studied all your life and disciplined yourself and prayed without ceasing, nothing could ever equal receiving me once - worthily - in the Noblest Sacrament.
My last word to you, then, is to love one another, and yourself, and me, by partaking in the Sacrament of the Altar. Remember me in my Passion!

AFTERWORD: "SHALL THEN ONLY CHRIST, OUR LORD, AND I SUFFER ALL THESE HARDSHIPS WHILE THE GUILT-LADEN DEBTORS AND DESERVERS OF ALL THESE PUNISHMENTS THROW THEMSELVES HEAD OVER HEELS INTO THE FILTH OF THEIR CARNAL INCLINATIONS?"
Mary to author, "Mystical City of God." Trans. Chap. XXV:282