DREAM DESCRIBES LOVER’S WORRIES

 4-15-20-HES SAD LONELY SEEKS GOD

interpreted for a friend far away

          I’m in my apt in B’klyn mostly in the front room – my bedroom, which seems to blend into the living room.  I am talking with my daughter a lot.  It just seems like we do things we have to do, there isn’t anything else, nothing much to look forward to.

          *(NOTHING MUCH TO DO:  Yes we are quarantined to some degree during the ‘Pandemic’ & there isn’t much to do, but that might be ‘sense image material’ & not what this is about.

          ‘Sense image material’ is when you use material – as symbols – things that you’ve seen, experienced recently, could be a day or two before, & use that as ‘material’ to apply to something else.  In other words, I see a parrot in a movie, then dream of a parrot, but the dream is not about the parrot – it’s about a person who repeats what another says without thinking.)*

          Behind us – I do not talk to him – is a young mulatto male.  He’s sitting on a single bed propped next to the window in the small bedroom.  I thought he was with someone talking but later I see he’s been alone.

 

*(YOUNG MULATTO:  This is my lover Zeke.  He’s ALONE this says—the single bed.  Not talking to anyone says he isn’t RELATING to anyone.  What happened to his housemate?  Apparently he isn’t relating to her as ‘lover’ or ‘wife,’ he sees himself ‘single’ & alone & he’s grieving over this.

He’s in MY apt means he’s MENTALLY WITH ME.)*

 

          Some time goes by, then he stands up off the bed & says he’s going to xxxx – the word I can’t recall, but it’s something like ‘acquisition’ or ‘consideration’ but it’s like a word meaning, “I’m thinking over, considering something’ or ‘thinking out something.’  He says this twice, the second time someone asks him where he’s going.

 

           This is about him & me – our relationship. A long time ago I taught him to pray, to ask a question of God & then be still & wait for an answer, & he asked God what to do about me & God told him to

          “WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP” but he did not do it.

THINK THINGS OVER implies he’s back to ‘square one’ where he seeks God’s guidance again, what to do about our relationship.  And so, this is good as he’s seeking  answers from God.)*

 

          But I get his meaning & say,

          “Oh, you’re going to Church!  Daughter & I will go with you – after all – it’s Easter Sunday & we have nothing to do anyway!”

           *(EASTER SUNDAY:  This is a great event, celebration, when Our Lord ROSE FROM THE DEAD.  This also happens to be the day, last year, when Zeke & I were mystically married.  He repented of his breakup with me, wrote a poem about it & posted it, the poem said many things, in part ‘I have made mistakes-I wish things were like before-that I was you & you were me-I wanted to be free but free I’ll never be’—I forgave him, we were reconciled, & God effected the Sacrament of Marriage.

And Easter is so symbolic because it’s a symbol of Life rising out of death, the Phoenix from the Ashes.)*

 

          It seemed like a good idea that he was going.

          He stands up & it’s then that I look at his bed – see he’s been all alone, which surprises me.  And second, his bed is WET & there under the soft golden/beige colored blanket is a hard thingy, like let’s say a small cucumber, like 3.5” long, 1.5” in diameter.  I hold it, feel it, wonder what it is – I’m suspicious -- intend to look inside the cover & see but don’t have time, as we’re hurrying to leave.

          *(BED WET:  There are allusions here twice to him reverting back to childhood – which happens when people have anxiety.  Boys wet their beds – men don’t.  Babies hold no control over their discharges.  Here the bed is wet which could mean he’s

          PISSED:      mad, angry, but more likely he has gone back to an insecure state.  {A child-state is an insecure one.  We are small, weak, we have no self empowerment.}  The later is reiterated in the small ‘thingy’ which could be the organ when he was younger.  The

          GOLD BLANKET:  Is his being in love with you.  Why would he be here, in his mind, with you, not at the other woman’s place?  Because he wants to be with you.)*

 

          But when we open the door it’s raining hard, we would be mad-soaked without umbrellas or outer clothing.  I look for jackets that would be good – & I do find one that I’ve had for ages—it’s a thick dark army green colored twill in real life, but in the dream it’s a much nicer green & looks brand new.  It’s a sort of unisex jacket, almost.  I say, this jacket might suit the young man or my daughter.  But he says no, & he says it won’t be good for my daughter because,

          “She’s been washed in cabbages.”

           (*WASHED IN CABBAGES:  Cabbage is money.  Washed in cabbages would be if the rain or financial ruin affected me—what he’s worried about.  In other words, the water/rain is the financial disaster coming down on the ‘cabbages’ or money.

 

          RAIN:  financial disaster over everyone outside.  The

          UNISEX OLD ARMY DARK GREEN JACKET I’ve had for ages:  Is the poverty I had for ages.  But now that jacket has turned to

          BRIGHT GREEN LIKE NEW:  which is new money or wealth.  He knows everyone’s been hit financially & doesn’t know if you have & if you could support him. He’s worried about love & money.)*