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Monday, 28 February 2022

A Hot War With Russia Would Be A VERY, VERY Bad Idea

By Ajax the Great

(Originally posted on the True Spirit of America Party blog)

The True Spirit of America Party hereby unequivocally condemns Vladimir Putin's abominable behavior, including (but not limited to) his most recent brutal rape of the Ukraine.  We agree that there is nothing redeeming about what he is currently doing there, period.  No argument from us there.

That said, it is nonetheless entirely possible to both condemn his misbehavior and still understand that a hot war between the USA and Russia is a VERY, VERY bad idea on balance for all concerned.  Or between any NATO country and Russia, for that matter.  Russia is a still very much a nuclear-armed quasi-superpower to this day, and they are also one of the five permanent members of the UN Security Council.  A hot war with them can easily turn VERY ugly and nuclear VERY fast, and would not be worth the cost. The same goes for any hot war with China either.  Thus, the TSAP unequivocally opposes any attempt by anyone to foment such a war, for any reason.  Period.

Unfortunately, too many people don't seem to do nuance anymore these days.  And they probably don't even know what the word "nuance" means.

And while it is very politically incorrect to say it out loud, NATO has not exactly been entirely innocent either in recent years.  There is far, far more to this complex and nuanced larger NATO vs Russia issue than meets the eye, and the roots go very, very deep indeed.  And the MSM rarely if ever tells the whole story.  We believe that the many years of warmongering and provocations on both sides is really, really stupid and dangerous, and we urge both sides to resolve this crisis diplomatically as quickly as humanly possible.  And while there are really no GOOD options currently, imposing swift and tough economic sanctions on the Russian oligarchs themselves (including Putin himself, the second richest person in the world) would probably be the least worst thing for the USA, NATO, and the UN to do.

As protest folk singer Phil Ochs once famously sang in "What Are You Fighting For?" in the 1960s:

But the hardest thing I'll ask you, if you would only try
Is take your children by their hands and look into their eyes
And there you'll see the answer, you should have seen before
If you'll win the wars at home, there'll be no fighting anymore.

Such excellent and timeless advice, both then and now.  And as Sting famously and poignantly sang in 1985, "I hope the Russians love their children too".

RASA SAYS:  War is a racket. Patriarchy is demonic. The big picture is we must end Patriarchy to end all war. With men in charge this will never end. The entire history of our society from the beginning, as soon as the sword was invented is war, war & more war. People don't see the forest for the trees. They speak of wars like they just happened for this or that reason. They happen because men are in charge. Stop men, you stop war. Of course war with Russia or China could be horrendous. Imagine if they did to us what America did to Japan. Nuclear bombs on New York & Los Angeles, how would you like them apples?

AJAX SAYS:  Very well-said, and very true indeed, Rasa.  Keep up the great work!

How To Make Sure This NEVER Happens Again

By Ajax the Great

(Originally posted on the True Spirit of America Party blog)

With the official narrative having completely collapsed and the tyrants now meeting meaningful resistance from We the People, and the Covidians now cynically rushing for the exits via the Great Pivot, one thing should be clear. Going cold turkey yesterday back to 2019 Normal must be the FLOOR, not the ceiling, of what We the People demand going forward.  After all, 2019 Normal was clearly not enough to prevent these past two years of madness from happening in the first place, and we need to make sure this can NEVER, EVER happen again.  

Like, ever.  Seriously. 

Not only do we demand an immediate and permanent end to all pandemic-related mandates and restrictions, leaving no traces behind, period, but we also demand the following going forward as well:

  • Individual human rights and civil liberties must be UNCONDITIONAL and inalienable, period.  Regardless of the supposed "facts" on the ground or the "greater good" or any other utilitarian concerns.  Otherwise, they are not really rights at all, but rather privileges and indulgences.
  • Especially bodily autonomy and bodily integrity must be as absolute as humanly possible, period.
  • Emergency powers of any kind for any reason at any level of government must be severely limited in time, space, and extent going forward, and completely and permanently revoked for any "leaders" who have abused them in the past.  Any emergency powers related to Covid need to be revoked permanently at all levels of government everywhere.
  • New constitutional amendments and legislation must be put forth to explicitly spell out and guarantee these changes.
  • In other words, the perceived legitimacy of the basis for these mandates and restrictions must be eradicated completely.
  • DO NOT EVER again attempt to meet tyranny or insanity in the middle!  You will lose, guaranteed, every single time, period.
  • All of the major players in this catastrophe, both government and corporate, need to be forced to resign immediately at a bare minimum, and then must be brought up on charges of Crimes Against Humanity and tried and punished accordingly.  Nuremberg 2.0, in other words.
  • And finally, demand full reparations for all vaccine injuries, and for all damages (economic and otherwise) done by government-imposed lockdowns, shutdowns, restrictions, and mandates of any kind.  The Takings Clause in the Constitution already demands as much.
So what are we waiting for?

RASA SAYS:  We must work for Female Empowerment, getting women into the governments - that is the only way to stop all this & restore human rights. The lunatics are running the asylum. And that is not a joke, indeed tese are the worst people on earth running it. The most evil struggle to be in charge so they can rob, pillage & exploit the people, the planet & nature. Women are less likely to be corrupt. This is proven. I don't want to hear how evil women are. Some are evil, when they follow the Patriarchy of course, they are traitors against God, animals & humanity. But if women were in charge over all like William Bond has been pointing out for years, women have a maternal instinct & end up doing most of the caring, nurturing & whatever is charitable. Men end up doing the corruption & the killing. And I don't want to hear 'not all men' - sick of that disclaimer. It's a pattern its their nature which in a percent of men, has become rancid, demonic, psycopath-ical......Work for female empowerment, the only way to gain justice & love back into the world. See the big picture, not individual battles & wars. Women must rule.

And is the narrative actually folding up? I sure hope so. The alternative media is bringing up so much evil I can hardly read it any more. I guess the evil will never end one form or another, while men rule. Brighteon was saying that Canada has fallen, the UN has taken over & the country is now enslaved. Tell us more how the narrative is collapsing to make us all happy. I know without a doubt the UN & the WHO are only tools of the demonic shadow govt, they are by no means of the people, for the people of Satan, by Satan, with Satan.

AJAX SAYS:  Can I get an AMEN?   The narrative is indeed folding up, slowly at first, then all at once. Canada had fallen, with Trudeau invoking martial law in all but name, and freezing bank accounts of people linked to the protests. But then, enough Canadians had withdrew money from the banks (aka a bank run like in the Disney film Mary Poppins) and the big banksters successfully pressured Trudeau to end his invocation of the Emergencies Act. So there is progress now.  Meanwhile another Freedom Convoy of truckers has already begun in the USA, and is heading over to DC in the coming days.

Thursday, 17 February 2022

Sucess with Lover & Life Story Dreams

 

2-17-22  With Lover & the Re-Convention


 

First I’m in bed with a woman, like a sister, with my lover.  She tells me Lover didn’t want to have sex with me after we get up.  I ask her,

“Who is it that slept next to him, you or me?”

She says she did & so I say that this night, I will sleep next to him.

This being done, I am seeing his knees are up & covered with soap, I gingerly rub the soap up & down his legs & also touch his upper body after a while – he’s happy for it.

Then the word comes to me,

“She tried to take him away from you but she couldn’t.”

 

MEANING:  Ruthie could not take Bob away from you, you will be with him.  His legs are his penis, the soap is white froth or sperm, you stimulating him & he likes it is having sex again.

 

Next Dream

 

There’s some sort of activities going on which are heard to remember.

I recall sort of a chaotic situation where my lover was constantly surrounded by & accosted by delinquent-style young men, & I all but got into a fist fight with one.  Was thinking about knocking him out but didn’t.  It was a struggle trying to reach the man I love, while he’s sitting, I’m sort of in his lap, but guys all around are accosting him.

 

But time passes & now we re-convene.

 

We gather in a clean, neat large room, like a lawyer’s conference room.  There are 4 of us.  








Each one files in & sits at this large table, like we are a group & the sense of the group is GOOD INTENTIONS, about to embark on something sanctified, like a group of saints going to start a project.

There are 2 men & 2 women.  Both the males come in wearing long-sleeved bright, brand new starched shirts.  The other female who sits to the left of me is also wearing white {the other male is to her left}.  Then to my surprise I take off my jacket & underneath, on top of a regular shirt, I have on a knitted white deeply scalloped neck top.  I exclaim to the others there after I take off my jacket,

Look we’re all wearing white.”

There’s something meaningful to this, a new beginning, not like before.







          MEANING SO FAR:  This is the new configuration, 4 people, a new husband for Ruthie, a serious man, not a gigolo like Bob, & Bob becomes serious with you.

 

The male to my right, as he walks in, gives a look to the female on my left like they’ve been intimate.  I wonder if she has preference over me & am a bit peeved.  But then he takes my hand & kisses it, I have a higher preference than her.   There’s something silver between his hands & mine, like a spoon but don’t know what, like something slotted like 3 grooves made of silver to put spoons in.

 

*** (SILVER, LIKE A HOLDER MADE OF SILVER WITH SLOTS FOR 3 SPOONS:  This is extremely telling.  It has two messages.  One, the silver is like a ring of silver, which is permanence to a relationship as it signifies 25 years – you won’t live that long.

And second, it proves why he MUST come to you – your WEALTH.  A silver spoon in the mouth is being born of privilege, but multiply that by 3 & you have great privilege, enormous wealth.  You are well-off now but the saints say you will have enormous wealth from your life story.

ME:  to Mother God & the saints, including Dad who I’m channeling today.  Will I live to enjoy this great wealth?  I mean I have if I’m lucky 10 more years to live.  And by the time this movie/s is produced it will be years.  Will I have time to enjoy it?  What will I do with it?





DAD:  You will live longer than you expect & yes, you will enjoy what is left of your life, whatever it is, even if it’s 5 years. You can cram a whole lot of experiences into five years.  You won’t suffer or be an invalid or bedridden before you die – you will die like I did, just go to sleep, no pain.  So you could be at one of the National Parks enjoying yourself & one night you’re gone, something like that.

 

ME:  Tell me more about this like who will produce what on my life & what kind of wealth?

 

DAD:  More wealth than you know what to do with, but you’ll use it wisely & well, you won’t throw it away. I suspect you will see nature & animals, your greatest loves, in the National Parks, Bob going with you & possibly a nurse-type attendant to wheel you around & help you in other ways, like going shopping for you.  But it will not diminish your pleasure.  When in the lodge you’ll eat interesting dinners, walk around & sit by the huge fireplaces & drink your beverages & chat with anyone around who wants to do so.  You’ll be friendly with everyone & lots of people will want to know you.  You’ll make a mark.  You carry the Anointing of God & this will touch many.

ME:  Those I channel have been telling me, all of them, about the wealth.  Dad, could you tell me more about the media & what they’ll want to do? 

DAD:  As you suspect there’ll be more than one movie.  It could be like Roots, or Rocky or Godfather, or Harry Potter & of course, after the movie deal it will go on TV.  You will make sure you have the best agent so yu don’t get cheated.  This is what we mean by wealth.  Imagine what the authors of these series made.) ***

 

2-15-22-Preparing to go on Stage Big Time

 

          I feel tremendous purpose in that I’m dressed to go on stage, but it’s a serious outfit rather than something totally revealing or skimpy.





          *** (SERIOUS:  This is the movie of my life & it will be serious, not something frothy or comedic, not an exploitative type movie – which is what the biography is like.) ***

 

          I have black hair, curly, full makeup, a dark but sparkly dress with much blue underneath, & on top of it, an expensive brown mink fur, full length.  {I know I will be stripping but it begins lie this –dressed to the max.}

 

          *** (FULLY DRESSED, BLACKS WITH BLUES, SPARKLY, EXPENSIVE MINK COAT:  This is the suffering of my life, black being the worst sufferings, the black curly hair represents what’s of the mind – one’s mood or consciousness, being black, you know what ‘black mood’ means – sorrow, depression.  And the blues are also sorrow, but sparkly is saying that good came out of bad, it sparked is it reflected light.

          EXPENSIVE MINK COAT is telling.  It has to do with HUMAN SUFFERING.  How do I discern that.  Will ask Mother God to explain.

          MG:  Fur refers to the primitive or human, animal body.  Animals such as minks & others were often ‘skinned alive’ because the fur did not adhere to the body as in rigor mortis.  Sometimes they were stunned, but not always.  Skinning animals {or a human martyr} depicts great suffering of the animal.  This corresponds with your experiences – we are animals, so it’s about the flesh.  You were tortured by Mom & others.  So it’s serious business, worse than ‘Mommie Dearest?’  Maybe.) ***

 

          I’m on my way to the venue where I am booked to perform, still on this side of the street, on a pavement behind a corner which is hidden by a tall hedge around the corner & in front.  There I stop to pause & a man who seems to be infatuated with me but troubled stands ‘watch’ with me, clinging to me close like glue, protecting me from anything on the street.

I need this time to LISTEN to a radio interview I did prior to this appearance – it’s important to me to hear how I sound.  I listen intently; it’s a long interview, maybe 15 mins.  When it’s done I thank the boy for his ‘protection’ from what I don’t know – interference I guess, & I go to the main street & begin to cross. He seems to be teary-eyed & bewildered, perhaps he was in love with me but not I with him.

 

*** (THE STREET ACROSS FROM THE VENUE, THE HEDGE HIDING ME, ON A CORNER, A YOUNG MAN PROTECTS ME, I LISTEN INTENTLY TO HOW I SOUND ON THIS RADIO SHOW NOW BEING BROADCAST:  Need help, Mother God.

MG:  You’re not there yet with the movie.  You’re wondering how you sound as you write your life story, & when you hear it, you’re satisfied.  A corner represents cross, right now you’re still on it as you don’t know if this will be produced in your lifetime or what.

Someone is ‘protecting’ you but it’s not a guardian Angel, it seems of the flesh.  Could be the lover you’ve not seen in 2.5 years, by your choice.  This shows him to be teary & bewildered why you aren’t reaching out to him any more.

The ‘hedge’ hiding you is you’re in your country setting, hidden or veiled by privacy, the hedge is all the greenery around you which is a symbol of being hidden from the public.) ***

 

          As I start to cross there’s a truck as long as 2 or 3 regular trucks, maybe 60’ with some sort of yellow squares on the bottom length of it, & I got too close for comfort, I go back & retrace my crossing the street, this time the truck isn’t there.  I was in too much of a hurry to cross.

 

          *** (ABNORMALLY LONG TRUCK 3 TIMES LONGER THAN USUAL, WAS IN TOO MUCH OF A HURRY TO CROSS, I BACK TRACK:  The long truck represents your life story is not only long but 3 times as long as the longest biographies.  This says don’t be in a hurry to get to the other side – the side where it’s produced.  Relax, wait.) ***

 

          I enter this venue, what it is, club or theater, I don’t know.

I am fully ready to perform, which is unusual.  Usually one enters, then robes up, but I’m already dressed for the stage.

 

*** (ALREADY DRESSED FOR THE STAGE:  This says my life story is ready to be produced, meaning I have enough material already.) ***

 

As I go in I seek the entrance to the dressing room, but there’s a door high up where I’d have to hoist myself up about 4’, then the door is shut with only maybe 2’ to crawl under.  I tell someone this is unacceptable & I walk away.  I see another female there & I ask her where do you go to enter the club – I’m going to look for the owner & ask where the performer’s rooms are?

 

*** (ENTRANCE TOO NARROW, I’D HAVE TO CRAWL INTO IT, A TIGHT HALLWAY TO THE ROOM, UNACCEPTABLE.  This is the way I was told not to go – not to lower myself or approach on bended knee the people in power – Let them come to me I was told when I channeled, by former agent Marty Shapiro {died in 2017} & Elvis & others.  I found this to be far fetched, as how will they ever find me unless I go to them, but was told it’s on the internet, something will make someone think of you & they will approach you & you will have the advantage.) *** 

She tells me you have to go into the street see the main entrance, & go in there.  There is no ‘back door’ or ‘stage door’ in other words.

 

*** (GO INTO STREET & USE MAIN ENTRANCE, NO BACK DOOR OR STAGE DOOR:  This says ‘just to walk in’ the main door.  Mother God, help.  How do I get to this movie by the main door, directly?

MG:  This is saying DON’T LOWER YOURSELF.  Servants use the back door, you are going to be the dominant one, going through the main entrance is pride, don’t submit, be the dominant person in this transaction by letting them come to you.  You are the proprietor of this work, your life story.  You lived it & wrote it, it’s yours, they must bend the knee to you, they want your product.) ***

 

Before I do that I walk through the theater area.  It’s totally modern, beautiful, with seats that are padded with a square rest behind, like Danish style, blonde chairs, individual, not like those in theaters that are joined up.  And the seats are already taken up although it’s not star time yet, more women than men.  The theater is medium sized & maybe one third of the seats are taken, about 75 mostly women waiting (I feel this theater holds 300 or so) - I hear a thought,

“There will be a large audience.”

 

*** (MOSTLY WOMEN, WILL BE A LARGE AUDIENCE, AVERAGE WOMEN:  This it says will have a wide appeal to a general audience, more woman than men.) ***

 

I go past the stage & am amazed how many male dancers they have who will support me in the show.  First I see 4 or 5 male dancers, I walk right in front of the stage.  Most of them are over 65, maybe one is younger, one of them looks at me directly.  I think he knows I’m the star entering.  They are all thin like dancers would be.

And I see beyond the another set of 4-5 male dancers, same age & condition & I think what a supporting cast they’ve given me, & I’m the ONLY STAR but the show should be good with all that backup.    


















*** (SUPPORTING CAST MOSTLY OLD, THIN MEN:  ‘Old’ refers to old stars that you have explained I your stories, your ‘old’ boyfriends most of who are dead.  They were performers – the stars & they are your SUPPORTING CAST.  Many women will be interested in your affairs with them, it will draw a women’s audience.  And so they are looking at the men – not you, it’s a good addition to your life.) ***

 

I cross the stage area & go down the side & think if any of these women in the audience sees me, they’ll know I’m the star, because look how I’m dressed, so elegant & rich, made up & I think beautiful.  But no one says or does anything; they look at the stage, not to the side.  The women seemed conservative, like your middle class type, nicely dressed women, of middle age; all about them is ‘average nice lady.’

 

*** (THEY LOOK AT THE STAGE:  This underscores once again, that many women will be drawn to your book / movie because of the male stars rather than your life of sufferings.) ***

 

As I exit I am now on the street & I see in front huge back & white posters & they’re not of me, it’s a male movie star.  I go around the corner as this venue is large, the building extending down the block, & the walls are covered with more huge posters, black & white of that male movie star & whatever he’s doing in a movie.  I can’t understand why my pictures aren’t out there since I’m the star, but that famous male is advertised.

 

*** (FAMOUS MALE STAR ADVERTISED GREATLY INSTEAD OF ME, WHERE I’M TO APPEAR:  This says what?  That a famous male star will star in my movie & be more advertised than the female star?  The way it was in ‘Stripper,’ Paul Newman was the big star & the female who played Blaze was unknown.  Help, Mother God.

MG:  This GREAT & FAMOUS MAN IS GOD – “I Strip for God” – He is the star.  It says He because to most people God is a man, lol.  So He is the star, not you.  And being BLACK & WHITE means the writing on the wall – it is meant to be. ‘Clear as black & white.’) ***









Monday, 14 February 2022

Dream Revelations Life & Lover

 

Dreams & Revelations about my present life & ruminations about Lover – For years every dream about the Lover says it will be, I want it, he wants it & God wants it


Above, Gustave Klimpt painting 

2-12-22 The Cave Trap Release-Dancing

 

          I am in this cave, it’s dark, & I’ve been here for two days with no food, no contact, no nothing, just darkness & looking for an exit with all my might.

 

          Then daylight comes & behind me is a simple opening, where I see I have used this to enter the cave before – it’s a large opening, smooth like a road curving left-out in & out, I can see greenery.  It was there all the time, but I just didn’t see it, I was turned the opposite way where it’s solid rock, so now I just walk out, happily.

 




*** (IN A CAVE:  This is some place I’m trapped, can’t see my way out of but something happens that I do see my way the Light God appears.

In this place I am impoverished.  I don’t have anything empowering me, I am without resources or tools to relate to people with.  People are not nourishing me or befriending me as you will see below.) *** 



When I exit I go to some bars.  I recall one, full of men, & I forgot to mention, something about being in that cave, I was deprived of everything.  No purse, no keys to my house, no money – no nothing.  I hold my hands out to the people I meet to show them.  And in this bar I was hoping to meet someone who would like me & offer me some help.  I tell my story again & again, showing my empty hands, & I am dressed in what you might call ‘rags’ but they aren’t exactly rags like a beggar, just the most ordinary clothes, like concealing clothes, not pretty, including some sort of brown/army green jacket.







As I stand in the middle of a crowd there’s a lady in front of me with curly grey hair, shorter than me & when I explain my poverty she says,

“Will this help?”

And she hands me what I think is two dollar bills, & I’m so pleased, I exclaim,

“You’re the only one who helped”

Later I look at the bills, & one of them is like $98. & the other a couple more, so she’s given me $100 – wow.

 

*** (LADY GIVES ME $100 – Not sure who this is but it could be the man. Of the grocery store who has been more friendly to me since seeing my books.  Friendship is nourishment, being kind to someone gives them positive energy it’s a form of love & love is spiritual / emotional nourishment.) *** 










There’s a man to my right, but he hasn’t offered to buy me a drink – none of the men has offered me a drink, which I kind of wanted – food & drink – as I had no money, not one penny.

There’s a lady to my left at the bar - & I’m not sure if she’s the same one or a different one, but I say to her that no guy has offered me a drink because I have on no makeup & such concealing clothes, but I show her {& the man to my right sees}

“If they knew I had these breasts, they’d offer me a drink.  If I was dressed I this”

  & I show her a RED BUSTIER which I’m carrying on my person – inside my jacket {it seems small} - & I seem to repeat this twice, & the man to my right notices & gets interested.  {It seems to me I’m purposefully concealing my body & breasts here.} 






*** (my RED BUSTIER etc:  Me to Mother God:  I don’t know what all this means, it escapes me.  I need your help to understand.

MG:  This is about your magnitude, your love, which makes you a star.  You were a star on stage & screen & you are also a great loving human being, but the people including the men, don’t see it, it is HIDDEN to them.  You aren’t showing it to them.  You’re not on stage; you appear as an ordinary person, like everyone else.

But when you bring in YOUR BOOK then they see you are a special soul in more ways than one – a star on several levels, both in the world & in the spiritual sense, as you’re the Stripper for God.

 

Now something happens – I don’t know what – that I become a performer in this bar.  Next thing you know I’m transformed into a part of a female singing / dancing group.  We’re all wearing form-fitting suits of a purplish color, we’re all made up & beautiful & we dance in unison very well, it’s all done beautifully.  Now everyone who saw me sees me a star, they are impressed.

So I was not that poor, raggedy, have nothing person, I was a star with great ability, I performed, & they were all in awe.

There’s something about our outfits, we’re thin, with beautiful shapes, so SLEEK.

Maybe then I go back to my old self & put on ordinary garb – am not sure, this part is vague, but everyone saw who I really was as a star, the way they had not seen before.

 

*** (BECOME A STAR, PERFORMER, SING & DANCE:  When the people see your book, they see who you are as a star – totally different than just going to the store buying things, like a new person.) ***

 

There’s more.  Now I try to leave this place & go to an area of a city, but when I leave, I get lost on a road that takes me away instead of into the city – a wilderness surrounds me & there’s even big bulldozer crumbly ground that was pushed aside.  Somehow this spooks me out, that I’d be so far from what I’m seeking – civilization, I go back to where I was & ask people which way is the road that leads to town – the shopping district.  This gets pretty frustrating & difficult, I struggle with this.  Not sure how it ends.

 

*** (ME to MOTHER GOD:  Again, I don’t have a clue what this means.

MG:  You are trying to find your way in society, with other people, where you stand, how you stand your relationship to them.  This has become difficult for you as friends have died, family members have been ratchet.  And so, this is a dilemma you’re facing.

The cave is also how will you succeed in this world – this society, when you feel so trapped?  It seems that your

 

books will be the way out – when people see who you are good things will happen.  And also, when the books succeed & your movie is out, for sure they will respond –this is your path out of the ‘wilderness’ & ‘being trapped.’) ***

 

2-12-22  Doc & Heart Condition Turns to Lover 
















          Somehow I got into my heart condition & I’m in a hospital being worked on.

          There’s a doc here, he’s young, well built, serious.  He has my heart in his hands & he takes it & wraps it in multiple layers of aluminum foil, & strangely, I’m thinking of helping him wrap it the same way.

          I’m on my knees for some reason, walking on all fours to get back to my bed – am not supposed to be out of bed, so I’m keeping a low profile so he won’t see me.  I seem to be feeling ok & I have light freckles on my face.  How I can exist without a heart I don’t know.

         

Then I see a technician holding like a tub in her or his hands, & there were things like tiny tadpoles swimming in it – they are small components of my heart, what it’s made of.  As she holds this across some kind of partician she’s speaking with the doc & the doc analyses this & the technician says,

          “Oh, it’s a SLOW DEATH?’

          Apparently the movement was slowing down somehow, bit by bit, dying, & it represents the heart.

First he’s seen as THE DOC & he holds your heart in his hands – he has / had POWER OVER YOU.

He misused this power by hurting you.  To have someone’s heart ‘in their hands’ is to control their emotions.   The other meaning to you crawling, on hands & knees, is you were ‘on bended knee or in the submissive posture as he hurt you – you were chasing him, opening yourself for the hurt & he abused you.

 

Then in a while I see the person who is my lover standing holding something in his hands, near this area, & he seems joyful or gleeful about something.  It seems like he sees something good - Like he’s going to be with me.

 

MEANING:  Mother God, these last two days the dreams seem to be more & more difficult to analyze.  Yes I was thinking about my heart condition last night, but this somehow feels like it’s about emotions rather than physical.

MG:  Yes this is emotions.  The tadpoles in the tub are sperm, sperm counts is what you’re asking the doc about, & he’s saying the lover’s sperm count is down which is not physical, but an emotional sign of depression.  He’s gotten deeply depressed over not seeing you, the tadpoles / sperm show its somatic or affecting the body – ‘psycho-somatic.’

He is the doc & the lover.  Why is he wrapping your heart in many layers of aluminum foil?  When a cook does that it’s to insulate the meat, prevent it from burning, protecting it but allowing it to cook.  This shows he’s concerned for your heart & doesn’t want to hurt you any more.

This indicates he’s become aware how much he hurt you – which before, he wanted to hurt you – now he doesn’t as he’s become aware that you left him due to the pain.

It is his emotions & sex drive that are going dead.  You’ve seen it in dreams concerning himself & other females.  He does sex to them but it doesn’t mean anything – it doesn’t excite his deeper self.  And so by hurting you he hurt himself – you left him - & the result was he could not get the emotional / physical high with other women that he had with you because he is not in love with them.

So wrapping your heart in multiple layers of protection is he wants to protect your heart now, & you want to do the same – protect yourself - you don’t want to be hurting any more.

You are crouching as you walk along here as they are secrets being revealed to you, for some reason you don’t want him to know you know his secrets & the other meaning is explained above.

The light freckles might be a jovial symbol saying ‘I’m just a good ole’ country girl, naive, don’t know anything.’  Except you do.  You’re kind of smiling here.  And so, it isn’t about your heart dying slowly, it isn’t bad news.

At the end the lover appears on this side of the ‘partician’ – whereas before he was the doc on the other side, - he had the power as ‘doc’, & he’s looking at something with glee.  He’s seen something which gives him hope.  Something says to him you’ll be together again, on this side, not parted like before. 














2-12-22           The Feminist Group Convenes

 

I’m in a store & a nice small lady is helping me purchase something. I’m in a hurry as I think the store might close, but then I go off a way & see some casual clothes I want, especially this pink sweatshirt that’s loose with matching soft but skintight Bermuda shorts.  I am perusing this when that lady comes over slightly bewildered if I still wanted that original item & I say I do.

 

Then a door opens & I see inside a line of Asian females sitting there in a woman-only meeting – The door opens only for seconds, but I want to know what’s going on & if I can join.

 

My question is are these women against whites, they being all Asians, or are they against Patriarchy?  If the latter, I want to join in.

Somehow I see myself inside this enclave & I wish I could recall more details but I don’t. 

One woman is demonstrating how women should not be feminine, but rather act in a more matter-of-fact way, being feminine is only for pleasing men.

I raise my hand & say,

“but we must understand that sometimes to survive, women must act this way to get what they need from men in this society we mustn’t judge them for that.”

Not sure what else happened.

However, I did see that this was for all types women, I see a good number of white women among the Asians.

 

MEANING:  Asian people are always celestials in my vocabulary – angels, saints, those on the other side.

This forms into a debate about whether a woman should be feminine or matter-of-fact & I’m saying sometimes we put on an act to get what we want, although in general being matter-of-fact is the way to go.

So I am consulting with the celestials – not sure why.  This dream so far remains a mystery.  But if it’s about the lover, it might bring closure to the fact that with him I was submissive or at his mercy for a while, but now I won’t be – I’ll be matter of fact so one thing led to another.  Perhaps had I been matter of fact right from the beginning the relationship would not have transpired.

 

The bears & Dad 
















We are on a familiar woodland trail, up a long hill - Been here many times, now with Dad & someone else.  I see the way back down this familiar hill.

We go up the embankment on the left, it’s beautiful.  Dad goes ahead of me.  He goes too much away from me, I wanted to warn him there are bears here & sure enough, there’s a bear right behind him.  I call out to him, he’s holding a stick, the bear is but a few feet behind.  I was going to tell him to hide in the bushes, but then, the bear doesn’t bother him.

As I look down the sunlit valley I see 4 or 5 bears peacefully lounging about, maybe eating something on the ground, maybe sedge or something, they are lit up with soft sunlight in this valley.  Dad was lucky the bear did not attack him.

Oh yes, in another scene I have peanut butter on my hand, on the padding of my right hand.  I held my hand out to a bear that’s familiar to me, & it accidentally while taking the peanut butter, bit that padding.  I cried out & pulled away, there was a bite wound.

But the wound healed within like 5 minutes, completely.  I show my friend the healed up small wound, proudly.  Some kind of phenomenon.

 

MEANING:  This is about my marriage to the lover.  It’s about the possible pain coming up, represented by BEARS.  The Dad always represents the man giving you away to the husband - & you’ve been waiting for YEARS for this event.  Dad going farther away from you indicates that date going farther away.  You are warning ‘him’ or yourself that pain may follow.

Being on a hill is usually Golgotha – suffering - & then him going even higher on the embankment is going into even more pain – the pain of delay as you said he went farther away from you.

In the end, nothing happens.  Yes there was a bite on your hand – the lover bit the hand that fed him but you are completely healed.

And there are no further attacks or pains transmitted.

This dream & the one that follows next day both say don’t be afraid to be with the lover again.

 

 

2-13-22           Help Old Lady in White

 

I went to a far away place & enter a tiny restaurant, which has but 4 or 5 tables.  I see the servers behind the counter & one of them is an older lady – say 65 – who has a man she loves sitting here to the right of the counter.

 

This man has given her untold grief & she asks me for advice, coming close to me.  Her eyelashes are like that of an elephant, like 3” long & grey.  Someone tells me that,

 

*** (ELEPHANT EYELASHES:  This references memories of great pain.  I was wondering if I should take the lover back.  I seek my God Self for advice.) ***

 

“He’s sat there at that counter for two hours & the entire time, argued with her”

 

*** (MAN AT COUNTER:  His sitting there arguing with this lady, annoying her, although he is her bf, shows his desire for her.  If he did not want her he wouldn’t be here, arguing.  Arguing is CONFLICT.  Yes he gave this lady – who is ME – great conflict & right now I am torn as to do I want him back or not?  Is he worth it?  Will he impair my vulnerable health?  This is my flesh & the dreamer / adviser is my God Self.) ***

 

He seems to be wearing a ‘sporty’ hat like the ones they used to wear in the 20’s – with the beanie on top, sort of flat & folded under.  He is extremely distracting & I’m wondering how she could attend to the other customers with him doing that.

 

*** (DISTRACTING:  I’m wondering if bob will distract me from my life’s work, helping others, especially Souls in Purgatory, here depicted in the tiny restaurant, who I’m waiting on with the Holy Mass.) ***

 

As she comes close to me for advice I say to her,

“Is he WORTH THE PAIN?  Or do you want to break up with him?”

 

At the words worth the pain, she brightened up & realized yes, she loved him so much the pain was worth it, & that solved her dilemma.  She would not break up, she’d keep him & that made her happy.  Her face lightened up, the tears stopped.

 

I then had to leave.  I thought I was in the city, but I was not.  As I exit before me is a country path, downhill.  As I sail – I’m in the air – over the path, I pass a place that’s rock walls on both sides, pretty but narrow, then I go on & on for miles & pass through the most beautiful verdant landscapes, thickly forested & with lovely green creeks & ponds, where water gathers & hundreds of brilliantly plumed ducks float on the water.  They have peacock colors on their necks & part of their bodies, very healthy & happy.  I could not believe how many little ponds & how many ducks I passed.

 Below - Vogue featured MY ARM in 1981

 

















*** (BEAUTIFUL LUSH SCENERY, LITTLE GREEN PONDS & MANY BRILLIANTLY PLUMED DUCKS:  This is the road to & from the Lover bob.  The fact that going home I’m going downhill means I was uphill - & height is usually suffering.  (Golgotha)

Ducks are birds – they can fly.  But they aren’t flying, they’re basking, enjoying these beautiful tiny ponds, many of them.

This says you will settle down with bob – he won’t go anywhere, he’ll stay put & you’ll both be happy.  The colors of a peacock bring to mind peacocks showing off their glories to the hens.  He’ll feel like he’s won you by his beauty & spectacular appeal & he will be content, & so will you be.) ***

 

Finally I come to the end, there’s a metal railing here & then a familiar paved back highway, which when I get on it & left, will take me home.  All is well.

 

*** (FAMILIAR PAVED ROAD HOME:  You have found the answer to your dilemma & you are at peace.) ***