Dream Revelations Life & Lover

 

Dreams & Revelations about my present life & ruminations about Lover – For years every dream about the Lover says it will be, I want it, he wants it & God wants it

Above, Gustave Klimpt painting 

2-12-22 The Cave Trap Release-Dancing

 

          I am in this cave, it’s dark, & I’ve been here for two days with no food, no contact, no nothing, just darkness & looking for an exit with all my might.

 

          Then daylight comes & behind me is a simple opening, where I see I have used this to enter the cave before – it’s a large opening, smooth like a road curving left-out in & out, I can see greenery.  It was there all the time, but I just didn’t see it, I was turned the opposite way where it’s solid rock, so now I just walk out, happily.

 

*** (IN A CAVE:  This is some place I’m trapped, can’t see my way out of but something happens that I do see my way the Light God appears.

In this place I am impoverished.  I don’t have anything empowering me, I am without resources or tools to relate to people with.  People are not nourishing me or befriending me as you will see below.) *** 

When I exit I go to some bars.  I recall one, full of men, & I forgot to mention, something about being in that cave, I was deprived of everything.  No purse, no keys to my house, no money – no nothing.  I hold my hands out to the people I meet to show them.  And in this bar I was hoping to meet someone who would like me & offer me some help.  I tell my story again & again, showing my empty hands, & I am dressed in what you might call ‘rags’ but they aren’t exactly rags like a beggar, just the most ordinary clothes, like concealing clothes, not pretty, including some sort of brown/army green jacket.

As I stand in the middle of a crowd there’s a lady in front of me with curly grey hair, shorter than me & when I explain my poverty she says,

“Will this help?”

And she hands me what I think is two dollar bills, & I’m so pleased, I exclaim,

“You’re the only one who helped”

Later I look at the bills, & one of them is like $98. & the other a couple more, so she’s given me $100 – wow.

 

*** (LADY GIVES ME $100 – Not sure who this is but it could be the man. Of the grocery store who has been more friendly to me since seeing my books.  Friendship is nourishment, being kind to someone gives them positive energy it’s a form of love & love is spiritual / emotional nourishment.) *** 

There’s a man to my right, but he hasn’t offered to buy me a drink – none of the men has offered me a drink, which I kind of wanted – food & drink – as I had no money, not one penny.

There’s a lady to my left at the bar - & I’m not sure if she’s the same one or a different one, but I say to her that no guy has offered me a drink because I have on no makeup & such concealing clothes, but I show her {& the man to my right sees}

“If they knew I had these breasts, they’d offer me a drink.  If I was dressed I this”

  & I show her a RED BUSTIER which I’m carrying on my person – inside my jacket {it seems small} - & I seem to repeat this twice, & the man to my right notices & gets interested.  {It seems to me I’m purposefully concealing my body & breasts here.} 

*** (my RED BUSTIER etc:  Me to Mother God:  I don’t know what all this means, it escapes me.  I need your help to understand.

MG:  This is about your magnitude, your love, which makes you a star.  You were a star on stage & screen & you are also a great loving human being, but the people including the men, don’t see it, it is HIDDEN to them.  You aren’t showing it to them.  You’re not on stage; you appear as an ordinary person, like everyone else.

But when you bring in YOUR BOOK then they see you are a special soul in more ways than one – a star on several levels, both in the world & in the spiritual sense, as you’re the Stripper for God.

 

Now something happens – I don’t know what – that I become a performer in this bar.  Next thing you know I’m transformed into a part of a female singing / dancing group.  We’re all wearing form-fitting suits of a purplish color, we’re all made up & beautiful & we dance in unison very well, it’s all done beautifully.  Now everyone who saw me sees me a star, they are impressed.

So I was not that poor, raggedy, have nothing person, I was a star with great ability, I performed, & they were all in awe.

There’s something about our outfits, we’re thin, with beautiful shapes, so SLEEK.

Maybe then I go back to my old self & put on ordinary garb – am not sure, this part is vague, but everyone saw who I really was as a star, the way they had not seen before.

 

*** (BECOME A STAR, PERFORMER, SING & DANCE:  When the people see your book, they see who you are as a star – totally different than just going to the store buying things, like a new person.) ***

 

There’s more.  Now I try to leave this place & go to an area of a city, but when I leave, I get lost on a road that takes me away instead of into the city – a wilderness surrounds me & there’s even big bulldozer crumbly ground that was pushed aside.  Somehow this spooks me out, that I’d be so far from what I’m seeking – civilization, I go back to where I was & ask people which way is the road that leads to town – the shopping district.  This gets pretty frustrating & difficult, I struggle with this.  Not sure how it ends.

 

*** (ME to MOTHER GOD:  Again, I don’t have a clue what this means.

MG:  You are trying to find your way in society, with other people, where you stand, how you stand your relationship to them.  This has become difficult for you as friends have died, family members have been ratchet.  And so, this is a dilemma you’re facing.

The cave is also how will you succeed in this world – this society, when you feel so trapped?  It seems that your

 

books will be the way out – when people see who you are good things will happen.  And also, when the books succeed & your movie is out, for sure they will respond –this is your path out of the ‘wilderness’ & ‘being trapped.’) ***

 

2-12-22  Doc & Heart Condition Turns to Lover 

          Somehow I got into my heart condition & I’m in a hospital being worked on.

          There’s a doc here, he’s young, well built, serious.  He has my heart in his hands & he takes it & wraps it in multiple layers of aluminum foil, & strangely, I’m thinking of helping him wrap it the same way.

          I’m on my knees for some reason, walking on all fours to get back to my bed – am not supposed to be out of bed, so I’m keeping a low profile so he won’t see me.  I seem to be feeling ok & I have light freckles on my face.  How I can exist without a heart I don’t know.

         

Then I see a technician holding like a tub in her or his hands, & there were things like tiny tadpoles swimming in it – they are small components of my heart, what it’s made of.  As she holds this across some kind of partician she’s speaking with the doc & the doc analyses this & the technician says,

          “Oh, it’s a SLOW DEATH?’

          Apparently the movement was slowing down somehow, bit by bit, dying, & it represents the heart.

First he’s seen as THE DOC & he holds your heart in his hands – he has / had POWER OVER YOU.

He misused this power by hurting you.  To have someone’s heart ‘in their hands’ is to control their emotions.   The other meaning to you crawling, on hands & knees, is you were ‘on bended knee or in the submissive posture as he hurt you – you were chasing him, opening yourself for the hurt & he abused you.

 

Then in a while I see the person who is my lover standing holding something in his hands, near this area, & he seems joyful or gleeful about something.  It seems like he sees something good - Like he’s going to be with me.

 

MEANING:  Mother God, these last two days the dreams seem to be more & more difficult to analyze.  Yes I was thinking about my heart condition last night, but this somehow feels like it’s about emotions rather than physical.

MG:  Yes this is emotions.  The tadpoles in the tub are sperm, sperm counts is what you’re asking the doc about, & he’s saying the lover’s sperm count is down which is not physical, but an emotional sign of depression.  He’s gotten deeply depressed over not seeing you, the tadpoles / sperm show its somatic or affecting the body – ‘psycho-somatic.’

He is the doc & the lover.  Why is he wrapping your heart in many layers of aluminum foil?  When a cook does that it’s to insulate the meat, prevent it from burning, protecting it but allowing it to cook.  This shows he’s concerned for your heart & doesn’t want to hurt you any more.

This indicates he’s become aware how much he hurt you – which before, he wanted to hurt you – now he doesn’t as he’s become aware that you left him due to the pain.

It is his emotions & sex drive that are going dead.  You’ve seen it in dreams concerning himself & other females.  He does sex to them but it doesn’t mean anything – it doesn’t excite his deeper self.  And so by hurting you he hurt himself – you left him - & the result was he could not get the emotional / physical high with other women that he had with you because he is not in love with them.

So wrapping your heart in multiple layers of protection is he wants to protect your heart now, & you want to do the same – protect yourself - you don’t want to be hurting any more.

You are crouching as you walk along here as they are secrets being revealed to you, for some reason you don’t want him to know you know his secrets & the other meaning is explained above.

The light freckles might be a jovial symbol saying ‘I’m just a good ole’ country girl, naive, don’t know anything.’  Except you do.  You’re kind of smiling here.  And so, it isn’t about your heart dying slowly, it isn’t bad news.

At the end the lover appears on this side of the ‘partician’ – whereas before he was the doc on the other side, - he had the power as ‘doc’, & he’s looking at something with glee.  He’s seen something which gives him hope.  Something says to him you’ll be together again, on this side, not parted like before. 

2-12-22           The Feminist Group Convenes

 

I’m in a store & a nice small lady is helping me purchase something. I’m in a hurry as I think the store might close, but then I go off a way & see some casual clothes I want, especially this pink sweatshirt that’s loose with matching soft but skintight Bermuda shorts.  I am perusing this when that lady comes over slightly bewildered if I still wanted that original item & I say I do.

 

Then a door opens & I see inside a line of Asian females sitting there in a woman-only meeting – The door opens only for seconds, but I want to know what’s going on & if I can join.

 

My question is are these women against whites, they being all Asians, or are they against Patriarchy?  If the latter, I want to join in.

Somehow I see myself inside this enclave & I wish I could recall more details but I don’t. 

One woman is demonstrating how women should not be feminine, but rather act in a more matter-of-fact way, being feminine is only for pleasing men.

I raise my hand & say,

“but we must understand that sometimes to survive, women must act this way to get what they need from men in this society we mustn’t judge them for that.”

Not sure what else happened.

However, I did see that this was for all types women, I see a good number of white women among the Asians.

 

MEANING:  Asian people are always celestials in my vocabulary – angels, saints, those on the other side.

This forms into a debate about whether a woman should be feminine or matter-of-fact & I’m saying sometimes we put on an act to get what we want, although in general being matter-of-fact is the way to go.

So I am consulting with the celestials – not sure why.  This dream so far remains a mystery.  But if it’s about the lover, it might bring closure to the fact that with him I was submissive or at his mercy for a while, but now I won’t be – I’ll be matter of fact so one thing led to another.  Perhaps had I been matter of fact right from the beginning the relationship would not have transpired.

 

The bears & Dad 

We are on a familiar woodland trail, up a long hill - Been here many times, now with Dad & someone else.  I see the way back down this familiar hill.

We go up the embankment on the left, it’s beautiful.  Dad goes ahead of me.  He goes too much away from me, I wanted to warn him there are bears here & sure enough, there’s a bear right behind him.  I call out to him, he’s holding a stick, the bear is but a few feet behind.  I was going to tell him to hide in the bushes, but then, the bear doesn’t bother him.

As I look down the sunlit valley I see 4 or 5 bears peacefully lounging about, maybe eating something on the ground, maybe sedge or something, they are lit up with soft sunlight in this valley.  Dad was lucky the bear did not attack him.

Oh yes, in another scene I have peanut butter on my hand, on the padding of my right hand.  I held my hand out to a bear that’s familiar to me, & it accidentally while taking the peanut butter, bit that padding.  I cried out & pulled away, there was a bite wound.

But the wound healed within like 5 minutes, completely.  I show my friend the healed up small wound, proudly.  Some kind of phenomenon.

 

MEANING:  This is about my marriage to the lover.  It’s about the possible pain coming up, represented by BEARS.  The Dad always represents the man giving you away to the husband - & you’ve been waiting for YEARS for this event.  Dad going farther away from you indicates that date going farther away.  You are warning ‘him’ or yourself that pain may follow.

Being on a hill is usually Golgotha – suffering - & then him going even higher on the embankment is going into even more pain – the pain of delay as you said he went farther away from you.

In the end, nothing happens.  Yes there was a bite on your hand – the lover bit the hand that fed him but you are completely healed.

And there are no further attacks or pains transmitted.

This dream & the one that follows next day both say don’t be afraid to be with the lover again.

 

 

2-13-22           Help Old Lady in White

 

I went to a far away place & enter a tiny restaurant, which has but 4 or 5 tables.  I see the servers behind the counter & one of them is an older lady – say 65 – who has a man she loves sitting here to the right of the counter.

 

This man has given her untold grief & she asks me for advice, coming close to me.  Her eyelashes are like that of an elephant, like 3” long & grey.  Someone tells me that,

 

*** (ELEPHANT EYELASHES:  This references memories of great pain.  I was wondering if I should take the lover back.  I seek my God Self for advice.) ***

 

“He’s sat there at that counter for two hours & the entire time, argued with her”

 

*** (MAN AT COUNTER:  His sitting there arguing with this lady, annoying her, although he is her bf, shows his desire for her.  If he did not want her he wouldn’t be here, arguing.  Arguing is CONFLICT.  Yes he gave this lady – who is ME – great conflict & right now I am torn as to do I want him back or not?  Is he worth it?  Will he impair my vulnerable health?  This is my flesh & the dreamer / adviser is my God Self.) ***

 

He seems to be wearing a ‘sporty’ hat like the ones they used to wear in the 20’s – with the beanie on top, sort of flat & folded under.  He is extremely distracting & I’m wondering how she could attend to the other customers with him doing that.

 

*** (DISTRACTING:  I’m wondering if bob will distract me from my life’s work, helping others, especially Souls in Purgatory, here depicted in the tiny restaurant, who I’m waiting on with the Holy Mass.) ***

 

As she comes close to me for advice I say to her,

“Is he WORTH THE PAIN?  Or do you want to break up with him?”

 

At the words worth the pain, she brightened up & realized yes, she loved him so much the pain was worth it, & that solved her dilemma.  She would not break up, she’d keep him & that made her happy.  Her face lightened up, the tears stopped.

 

I then had to leave.  I thought I was in the city, but I was not.  As I exit before me is a country path, downhill.  As I sail – I’m in the air – over the path, I pass a place that’s rock walls on both sides, pretty but narrow, then I go on & on for miles & pass through the most beautiful verdant landscapes, thickly forested & with lovely green creeks & ponds, where water gathers & hundreds of brilliantly plumed ducks float on the water.  They have peacock colors on their necks & part of their bodies, very healthy & happy.  I could not believe how many little ponds & how many ducks I passed.

 Below - Vogue featured MY ARM in 1981

 

*** (BEAUTIFUL LUSH SCENERY, LITTLE GREEN PONDS & MANY BRILLIANTLY PLUMED DUCKS:  This is the road to & from the Lover bob.  The fact that going home I’m going downhill means I was uphill - & height is usually suffering.  (Golgotha)

Ducks are birds – they can fly.  But they aren’t flying, they’re basking, enjoying these beautiful tiny ponds, many of them.

This says you will settle down with bob – he won’t go anywhere, he’ll stay put & you’ll both be happy.  The colors of a peacock bring to mind peacocks showing off their glories to the hens.  He’ll feel like he’s won you by his beauty & spectacular appeal & he will be content, & so will you be.) ***

 

Finally I come to the end, there’s a metal railing here & then a familiar paved back highway, which when I get on it & left, will take me home.  All is well.

 

*** (FAMILIAR PAVED ROAD HOME:  You have found the answer to your dilemma & you are at peace.) ***