James Brown Repents Over Me

 

James Brown Understands –Repents of Hurting Me  8-29-23

 

         Upon waking with this dream I was baffled & spent an hour in bed going over it, then it made sense.

         I am on the street & realize James Brown is chasing me.  There’s no reason why but I’m afraid & I run like Hell.  There are many shops on the way & I run into one that is convenient.  The pharmacist is usually there; thank God he’s here now.  It’s just a small plain store with a counter against the back wall, everything light, & I exclaim,

         “Call the police”

         And I see him dial ‘911.’

         He’s wearing a white coat.

         Wow, I’m glad to be in here as I feared James wanted to do me harm – very afraid.

         But as long as I stay here I’m safe, he won’t DARE come into the shop to hurt me.

         I see him sitting across the street.  He is waiting for me to come out.  Every 2-3 minutes he looks up to see if I’m still here.

         He was wearing a strange outfit, a suit made of thick soft olive green wool – very conservative, not like him at all.

         After a while he’s warm, takes off the jacket & changes his position.  He’s more to the right, & now I see he’s got on a very bright blue sweater vest, sitting there facing right.  His head is BALD.

         The pharmacist changes into a woman & seems to be in love with me.  He/she wants to hug me, climbs over the counter & does so, several different times while I’m here.  But it’s kind of embarrassing because as a woman he has large breasts just like me & when we hug our chests touch.  That’s slightly uncomfortable.

         Another friend gets involved.  She comes into the pharmacy—not to buy anything, but to help me.  She’s that Wicca lady who once long ago {2010} sent me a love charm & love spell – can’t think of her name!  Let’s call her Cathy.  She’s wearing dark clothes, a short but full skirt & glasses.  She’s big – not fat – tall & large boned.

         We three are thinking how to deliver me from James & his pursuit.  The pharmacist tells me,

         “I own an apt building where you can go & hide out for a while.” 

         And he adds,

         “It’s a luxury building.”

         But we have to make a run for it, quickly leave the store & run with all our might, hoping James did not see me & starts running too late to catch me.  Why there were no police I don’t know.

         So we alight into the street & run, I am going so fast I leave my pharmacist & Cathy behind me.  We go for a while, fast as lightning, & make a right turn & appear in an unexpected place, in front of a house that is not what I expected.  This is the place I will hide.

         It’s not a building or luxury apt building, it’s a house off from the city, there seems to be something like an old railroad track behind it to the left, then wide open spaces.  It’s a one story house {I think again & again, not burglar proof, safer to be up on a 2^nd or higher floor}, painted dark red, small, modest, & it even has a clothesline in front of it, about 50’ long going from one side of the house to the other, where the line crosses the front of the house there is no laundry hanging, but to the left & right of the house, laundry hangs – all white – like flags almost – laundry not close but with several feet between each piece.  So different than what I imagined.

         At this point it seems like the pharmacist & Cathy kind of fade away & I’m imagining the rest.

         My imagination puts a widow here, whose husband left her for another woman, took half their money & left.  But after a couple years he died.  She had a job & kept working it to survive, but after he died she got a pension so survival was OK.

         This lady is very nice.  The pharm told her he’d give her half a month rent off for hiding me for a while {until we believes James will tire of looking for me}.  I’d get room & board but if I want to, I can get my own food from town.

         She welcomes my presence as someone to talk to for a while as she’s all alone.  All her children & grandchildren live in other states & there isn’t much communication.

         And I imagine where we turned off the main road & came here, James wouldn’t be able to find me, I’m safe. 

         Meaning:

                 It’s been a while since James, with my help, ascended into Heaven.  {He died Dec 15, 2006 & I did not even know he was dead until about 4 years later.  He appeared, I gave him the Sacred Kiss, his Guardian Angel immediately took him to Heaven.}

         Apparently their comprehension isn’t instant, during what we call time; they come to understand things they originally did not.

         What he’s come to realize is that when I chased him – which frightened him & he ran like crazy & that ended our relationship – it was because I was suffering from the disorder of PTSD – from the abandonment of my Dad & abuse of my Mom.

         My need for love was so intense it caused me to chase whomever I loved because of anxiety, a sickness.  As soon as I loved someone this disorder would kick in – it’s happened dozens of times, to various degrees, with him it was bad.

         My fear is only a parallel to his fear, when I, for instance, chased his limo & another car through the Hollywood Hills after he performed at the Hollywood Bowl.  They at one point stopped both cars, had a conference, & decided to split up.  But I guessed he was in the limo, stayed behind that until he got to the hotel – I think the name was Ciro’s – close to the Whiskey A Go Go on Sunset Blvd, pulled in right behind them & there saw James exit the vehicle with a tall brunette he’d picked up for the night.  This is not the point of the dream, the point is something else.

         It is to say that he finally understand my plight & he regrets hurting me.

         This plight is shown in his BALDNESS which is when a person loses their sanity.

         And second, he takes off the olive jacket & there sports a bright blue sweater vest.  The blueness is sorrow.  He’s now sorry he hurt me, as he didn’t understand my emotions & rejected me because of his fear – the fear I feel in the dream.

         The thick, fuzzy olive suit is ‘army green,’ which shows his defensiveness. When he removed the jacket or his defensiveness you see revealed the sorrow for what he did.

         The pharmacist represents I am sick & need meds for anxiety – which I did not take.  When he turns into a woman & hugs me shows how much I needed love from my Mom, but did not get it.  Both parents depriving me of love was a hard road to take.

         Now the end is the end of my life, where I find PEACE. 

         The white clothing hanging there means this: 

         What does a white scarf mean?

Khata (Hada) is a fabric scarf used for gifts by Tibetan people and Mongolian. The meaning of the Khata scarf is good wishes and respect. In Tibetan monasteries, Khatas mean greetings to monks and Buddha. The Tibetan scarfs' colors are fixed. The most common color is white, as auspicious as Tibet's snow. 

         This ‘hanging laundry’ means ‘peace’ & ‘welcome’ to me.  It is my RESIDENCE / LIFE today.

         I GOT AWAY from being in love with earthly beings like James & others by conquering the anxiety.  This happened finally after the last lover, Nick.  I did rise above my human disorder when I forced myself to stop obsessing.  It took 2 years of absence from him on purpose, denying myself the urge to chase him.  So I was free at last.

         The other statements I imagine are simply explaining how I love today – alone & happy.  Family far away & sometimes desiring company, but nothing extreme.

         Question:  Why did the pharmacist mislead me as to my destination & why is my house painted dark red, & only one floor where in real life there’s more than one?

         Actually, the one floor house, out of the way, shows no anxiety, because in dreams, the symbol of being high up like on bridges, elevators means anxiety.  You are SAFE by being ‘out of the way,’ not in the spotlight, not with people, alone.  Being alone is your safest spot, they can’t get to you, they can’t hurt you.

          Why did he suddenly appear to me after several years & show his regret?  Might be because for the last 2 weeks I’ve listened to over 50 hours of accounts of the suffering of American slaves, as well as the history of it & neo-slavery – {the laws passed after the civil war which kept people without human rights & rendered them into involuntary servitude} - & I have great compassion for the people victimized.

Checked dress:  The time I dated James Brown