St. Mary of Agreda comes to me to explain something  7-13-24

         {In this dream referring to black is spirit, not race}

First I see my earthly lover/now spiritual husband Nick visiting standing to the left with someone next to him.  He’s wearing some blue & smiling—seems happy.  Then he goes away to the right, behind a wall.

         A friend of mine is in front of me, like a disciple, a small young male.  I say to him re Nick,

“Follow him – find out where he lives & works because I love him.”

To my surprise, Nick pops up from behind the wall & is smiling, happy, because he heard me say I love him.

 

Then I see myself writing a letter to my sister, to tell her what I’m doing, how things are going.  As I begin to write, involuntarily, with every noun or name I speak, a vivid image comes up on the paper, as if I included it.  I keep going – this happens again & again & the scenes are SEXUAL – which I do not want & am NOT even talking about!  But just ordinary names evoke these images.  After a few sentences, I give up as I’ll not send a letter like that out, with explicit images of a man’s hardon & all that. 

The scene changes -  I’m now with other people, a few of them including one black female friend – who reminds me of long ago, a friend named Ginger who lived with me for a while.  She was good with me but had a bf who spent a lot of time in jail, a young career criminal.  When he got with her he’d lead her astray, but she still liked him a lot – & he her. In this dream this guy’s crimes aren’t serious – I real life, they were.

I’m standing with this female & maybe the bf & a couple kids & strangely, a black bear appears.

Then a lady who’s a movie star like Shirley MacLaine is coming toward us, a gracious person, wearing a flowing pink mumu  very full.  She’s awe-inspiring.

I don’t want her to be frightened by the bear so I speak to it gently – it’s semi tame to me - & it moves away.

As ‘Shirley’ is standing there I introduce her to my female friend, who’s in a sort of ‘booth’ sitting looking contented – & I say,

“She’s happy as she’s been with her bf, he’s pretty good looking.”

 The lady is smiling.

But I’m off to the side & have my head against a railing, feeling kind of sad, thinking of something within myself, not the outside world.

Now the group meantime is in front of me, the male bf on a large bed, the female gf to my left & close to them, 2 kids.  Don’t see Shirley but I think she’s still in our presence.

Now the black lady says,

“Let’s all go out,”

meaning to some shindig or restaurant, - just us – leave bf here.

She was a true friend & willing to SACRIFICE her bf because she felt I was miserable for lack of male companionship.  If she left & he was alone with me, we’d have sex.  But I cry out,

“NO!  You’re not going to leave me with this PYTHON!

I see him clearly now, dark brown skin, slightly overweight with a soft body including his dick, which is very large but doesn’t look like wood here, looks like 10-11” soft outside but hard inside, & he proudly points to his dick as the python. He seems gross & not too bright.

They MISUNDERSTOOD my sorrow as not having a physical lover - but that wasn’t it at all.  That is NOT what I’m sad & withdrawn about.

MEANING:

*{MG:  This is St. Mary of Agreda showing up telling you that your mind is not CLEANSED of all the human/animal/gross activity of the last years – the images come up automatically without you wanting them, as you communicate.

And this lower self activity of the mind is impeding your progress with seeing God Face to Face.

It’s not about SIN or even faults & attachments - the grossness of the body is incompatible with the vision of the Immutable Essence of God – so St. Mary explains.

This is the BEAR you are familiar with that you speak to gently to get out of the way – the bear represents trouble or an impediment – these scenes In the back of your mind must be removed or fade away.  This will take TIME.

Mary of Agreda shows up as a celebrity in a diaphanous pink robe; she’s a Celestial & you’re in awe of her.

The satisfied female who’s your friend is either the girl he lived with or else yourself in the past.

You’re not happy not because you want to return to the activity of the past – the python – lol – but because you want to see God Face to Face.  It’s an inner journey, so you’re looking inside your soul to see what the hangup is.  You prayed for God’s Grace last night for a long time, as only God can lift you to the Heavens.  You alone can do nothing.  So your sadness is the longing for God, not the flesh.

Writing to your sisters with images popping up is the involuntary activity of your flesh, which you can’t control as it was the habitual activity for eleven years of cougering.

Mary of Agreda arrives to tell you this will take time.

And you being madly in love with Nick for years is a factor that you need to wash away. Only time can do that.

The ME who is SAD is my Higher Self.  Not sure how this relates to Mother God, the dynamics.  The ‘satisfied lady’ whose I relationship with the criminal could be me as I was then – he wasn’t a legal criminal but very disturbing in his actions – but he loved me as I did him.  Now my lower self or the flesh DID SACRIFICE him, in this dream, gave him up – which I did in 2019 – as if to get out of the way for my Higher Self to be free. 

Dreams can’t always add up perfectly, but I did break up with him – my Higher Self kept warning me I had to & I finally found the Grace to do it.

But I’m not cleansed of the memories of all that, so to speak.  Not sure if it’s memories or just images that pop up by themselves – as soon as I relate to the world or people, start talking to them.   {end}