Thursday, 17 April 2025
Wednesday, 16 April 2025
How God Works
How God Works - Uses what seems 'bad' to bring good or avoid something much worse
I was at my house & thought I was ‘locked up’ properly,
safe. I am in the front & see a lady come in with a vehicle, open, like a
riding mower but not that. And this mower has a sort of metal ‘arm’ that can
hold things & put them down – it’s about 10’ long.
The yard in front of me is in the dream, a whole floor
lower than the house, I might have a balcony here. I open the door a bit &
look down there, & she has delivered a gift - one I understand is given to
a lot of people with a list of ‘chosen’ recipients & this person
mechanically, working for someone deliver these gifts.
The gift is sort of vague but it’s two things: A Christmas
tree made of flowers {small, like a foot tall at most} & next to it a
statuette, but I don’t know of who. So she leaves this gift & takes off.
It’s not a good time for me to go outside so I figure I’ll leave it there until
morning. It’s supposed to be NIGHT except its light.
Now I go to the back of the house & to my shock the
back door where my French doors are is completely open, it even seems like both
the doors are open or the one door is bigger than it is. That means anyone
could have come in the door & that is a scary thing as I’ve been hiding
from my most tame bear who’s done a lot of mischief here. And cold air is
coming in; M little black cat is at m feet & she’s peeking here also, &
I had let her out earlier & I’m thinking she cold have come back trough
this open dor but she didn’t.
Then – this scares me – A bear is walking here, to pass
right by this door, which I have just partially closed - & it’s the biggest
one I’ve ever seen –it’s about 600 lbs, & it isn’t black, it’s white with
some sort of darker hues to it, maybe beige, not sure. And after it comes the
second largest bear – 500 lbs, & with them is a cub who’s 200 bs. So when
they have family they can be dangerous, this is unusual too because a Dad never
stays with a Mom & cub, but this one is.
And then I see my tamest bear who I want to avoid is here,
& he’s sitting in front of the doors – he’s half the size as real life –
about 200 lbs but he’s not the cub. He’s sitting on his haunches like an
obedient dog just wishing & hoping I would see him & feed him. He is
also white but his fur looks like material you make clothes out of somehow.
Sort of corduroy like the winter pants I wear lately.
What
scares me is that door was open & those huge bears could have come right
into my kitchen. However, strangely they were not even interested, they did not
even LOOK at my kitchen just walked by matter-of-factly like they’re on their
way somewhere, have nothing to do with me or my house – which is great. They
seem you could say serene or serious, moving slowly, methodically – like their
minds are somewhere else.
MEANING:
*{MotherGod: Your prayers were very
strong last night as they’ve been a couple nights. You envision the Infinite
God & yesterday you said to Her: ‘I am a portal of your love, let your love come through me to trillions of souls in Purgatory & trillions of sentient
beings from insects to whale’s - & you named dozens of species of animals.
Then you named some of the most needy people – those in the adult trade - &
you named the trades & you named many other types of those in need.
You
also affirmed again how God does not want evil to happen to anyone; She only
allows it as a ‘stumbling block’ that leads to ‘stepping stones.’ God desires
good to happen to all humans, including myself, in every way. God wants every
type of good health, protection, safety, success of my projects, happiness. God
never desires suffering of itself, only as a means to an end.
And
in my case for the most part – God told me so – She doesn’t want me to suffer
any more. Yes normal stuff but not hard stuff like before. She wants me to be
happy – have fun. This was her last message to me – 2008 - when she told me to
quit celibacy, end suffering & be happy. She has not appeared with any new
messages so I assume this stands.
You
{MG speaks to me & she is me, so sometimes it’s her, sometimes myself, lol}
concentrated on God’s Will – how God wants good, & God sometimes allows bad
things in order to get, eventually, good out of it.
This
sounds like your present problem,
“Stepper
seems to be a bad problem & you’ve lamented over it a lot. But there is
something that could have, would have happened, that’s been avoided because of
him & his shenanigans.
It
is represented by that white bear family – so huge – which could represent HUGE
PROBLEMS, dangerous ones. That’s why these bears are WHITE – because white is a
sign from Heaven of the Holy Spirit.
The
bears / problems WALKED RIGHT ON BY when they COULD HAVE entered your dwelling
or your life, interfered with your safety & happiness. But this DID NOT
HAPPEN.
And
here Stepper is no more than an OBEDIENT DOG waiting to be fed, he hasn’t hurt
you in a serious way although what he’s done has been annoying {broken window
twice, broken door, dragging garbage out, making me sweat to feed him so much
last year.} He came, it
seems sent by God, to do this mischief as a preventative to stop something else
much worse. That is why he’s obedient, a dog which is man’s best friend,
& he is in a sense wearing your pants or clothed in your clothes. He is a
PART of you in a sense, he came to help you.
It
might have to do with you reaching out to friend Earl, who is going to help you
get other help to take care of the house & property – so much work needs to
be done - some of it urgent. And he’s your friend again, brought you through
emergencies, a person who’s not been in your life for years. It seems good will
come out of all this.
And the GIFT being given you by the ‘hand of God’ or handle lol, it’s Christmas & the statue of a Saint no doubt – God is telling you how pleased She is with your prayers. Christmas is the time of GIVING & you have given LOVE {prayers have POWER to send it, this is PROOF!} & God has given it back.}*
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A few days ago I dreamed this but did
not have time to record it.
I’m
lying on my back, resting, close to my house, when a large dog comes by through
the tall dry grass right front. I wasn’t sure if he was dangerous, but he’s
very friendly & comes over to me to be petted which I do.
I
then look inside the house & see this room, & inside the room is a
circle of fire logs – very neat ones – the kind just right for your small
fireplace or stove, & they are all criss crossed on top of one another
making about a 2’ or so ‘fence’ in a circle, & that friendly dog now jumps
into that circle & there is a tub there filled to the brim with grey bricks
that are FOOD. He lies down with that tub in front of him & makes a gesture
of satisfaction, as this food is enough for a long time – & it is in a form
that won’t go bad, & he is pleased. He gained security somehow.
And
beyond him I see into the house of people – through a picture window - &
they also have received some sort of basin or tub with food that is also the
kind that won’t go bad, & this is saying both the dog & these people
were given this by someone.
MEANING:
*{Mother
God, let’s do this one first as it’ll be easier. I was making new prayers &
I sense this was a result of it. The prayers were for animals as well as folks
who deserve it – I offer
all the Holy Masses, this day & every day, in union with Jesus & Mary
& all the Saints of all religions, & in the company of the Holy Angels,
& also all the sufferings, & the charity of this day & every day, -
Please give the benefits first to the souls in Purgatory - next to the animals,
then to the folks who deserve help on earth. I say this prayer about 5 times a day &
have asked one of my Guardian Angels to say it many times a day for me.
This
might show me lying on my back while I am trying to go to sleep & praying.
And a revelation comes to me that a poor dog who needs help came to me & my
prayer reached him & nourished him.
What
is the circle of fire logs not lit?
It
might mean some sort of security, as a circe encloses someone & in the wild
or outdoors if you had such a circle & lit them, it would protect you from
dangerous wild animals.
But
this is inside so it isn’t necessary to be it – he is secure from predators,
& here he has his food, which is nourishment to his mind as it is grey. He
is very satisfied by your prayers /Grace was sent him.
And
beyond him you see into the dwelling of a person & they too were satisfied.}*
{End}
Tuesday, 15 April 2025
Monday, 14 April 2025
RASA REMARKS Escaping SAUDI ARABIA: How She Became FIRST Documented Ex-Muslim Woman ...
Interview with Victim
Stephie Krehbiel interviews victim / activist Rosemarie Miller
After publishing Rosemarie’s personal narrative of abuse on Our Stories
Untold last November, we knew we wanted to spend more time talking
to her about her current work, and particularly about the prevalence of sexual
violence and other forms of child and domestic abuse in Plain Anabaptism.
–Stephanie Krehbiel
Rosemarie, tell me about what’s happening in
Plain Mennonite churches right now in terms of sexual abuse. Have things
changed at all since you were a child?
Stephanie, thank you for asking. I would say
that in some small measure, there may be some cases where child sexual abuse is
being taken more seriously, here and there. But my general observation is that
there are still massive issues with child abuse of all kinds–not just sexual
abuse–being minimized and not dealt with transparently, or very wisely.
How is it dealt with?
In my own story, as you are aware, it was
“dealt with” by blaming me, and forcing me to apologize to the abuser for my
alleged “part in it”. I have seen similar patterns continuing.
Are there more recent cases that you’re able
to talk about?
Yes. I’m aware of other cases that are far
more recent than mine where blame has been assigned to the victim as well. In
one sickening situation, the church decided that the victim had to have wanted
a sexual relationship with the abuser. They were shipped out of the church and
community to “get counseling”. The offender was allowed to continue attending
the church without any restrictions or accountability from the church, even
though there were other minor, vulnerable children the abuser still had access
to.
So the victim who was “shipped out” was a
minor?
The victim was a minor, at the time of the
abuse, yes.
What does “get counseling” mean in a situation
like this?
In many instances in the very conservative
groups, the only “counseling” is provided by the Bishop or minister. Many of
the very conservative groups do not allow any counseling beyond that which is provided
by the leadership, who are not trained or educated about trauma, abuse or any
other topics of importance like that. Most have nothing beyond an 8th or 9th
grade education in their own church run schools. In “less conservative” groups,
they may send off a victim to a Mennonite or Amish run “counseling center”.
Typically, these are staffed by people who feel “called” to help others. Many
times, they have no real counseling background or training. There are
frequently issues with the staff understanding the real depths of trauma, abuse
and other things that are crucial to really helping victims.
What happened to the victim in this case after
they were sent there?
The victim was given a few months of
“counseling”. They did not return to live in their home community but relocated
to a new area and new church. This is a common thing I have seen–the victim
often is who has to find a new life and place, while the abuser is embraced and
allowed to remain in their home community. While this is not always the case,
it is frequently. In one case I know about, with a teen girl, she continued to
live in her home with her parents, and the offender (who was single) was sent
to live in a different community with a family. The father of the teen victim
wanted to go file a police report for statutory rape, but was absolutely
forbidden by the church leaders to do so. The female victim was excommunicated
from the church and told to make a public confession, just as the adult, male
offender was.
What would have happened to that father if he
had defied the church and filed a police report anyway?
The father would have been excommunicated for
having been “rebellious”. Because he was employed by a business that was very
deeply involved with the church, he would have lost his job as soon as he was
excommunicated. He would have also lost the support he had for any medical
expenses because in that group, they eschew all forms of health insurance and
depend only on the church for help with expenses beyond their own ability to
pay. His church run car “insurance” program would have been gone, since he was
no longer a member. Any children attending the church run school would have
been at risk of being removed from the school, and on the list goes. While it’s
easy to say that he should have reported the offender anyway, it’s also
important to realize the level of change a decision like that would have
entailed for his family, made it hard to make a decision to go contrary to the
leadership’s directives.
So what you’re describing, it seems, is a set
of church practices that make people economically dependent on their
congregations, as well as socially dependent on them.
That’s right, Stephanie! While the level of
dependence varies, depending on where a congregation is on the “conservative”
spectrum, the very thing that is seen as a plus–the close community and deep
involvement in each other’s lives–becomes a horrible weight when abuse exists,
and churches are not doing the right thing by victims! It makes it
excruciating to break free and stand by the victims if the church doesn’t take
that stand, because you are risking losing everything–your social, spiritual,
family, and financial support systems can all be wiped out. If you are a
victim, or a victim’s family, you can see how hard it would be to stand up to
that level of pressure and fear.
It honestly sounds like the ideal setup for
fostering abuse, and the sense I get from you and other current or former
Plain/Conservative Anabaptists is that the scale of the abuse in these
communities is far beyond what is making it into the public eye. What would you
like to see happen?
Yes, the level of abuses that go on in some of
the homes and churches is so hard for me to even know how to express,
because it grieves my heart so deeply for those who are experiencing it.
I know first hand the amount of damage it can and does do. I think more
education could be useful for some situations, especially in the really insular
communities who have cut off so much access to others–I think there are people
in those communities at times who really may be unaware of the law, and
how abuse cases should be properly handled. I also believe that when it comes
to some of the less isolated communities–those who freely listen to the radio,
read the news, have the internet etc.–the issues with abuse being badly
handled, not properly reported to the authorities and so on, goes beyond a lack
of education and into willful hiding of abuse. I don’t think that will stop
until either they have a genuine revival of their hearts, or there are
such consequences from legal authorities that they fear to continue hiding and
covering for the abuse of children.
With a few exemptions in some states, federal
mandatory reporting laws for child abuse usually include religious leaders. Are
you saying that leaders in conservative Mennonite communities are willfully and
knowingly breaking those laws?
I think it is possible some leaders do not
genuinely know. I also know there are some who are willfully putting their
heads in the sand and who know what the laws say, but try every creative
way they can to circumvent the law. They make excuses about how they would
never report a “repentant” abuser–as if they can determine on the basis of
short term contact with an abuser who has been outed that he or she is
repentant. Typically they “determine” that the abuser is repentant, based on the tears
and statements of the abuser, so there is not a report made. In some cases, a
report is made, but is so vague as to be essentially worthless. In other cases,
the church members are forbidden to discuss the situation with each other or
others outside the church, so the leadership can control the narrative,
possibly going so far as to threaten God’s judgement and excommunication if the
membership disobeys. There are all sorts of ways that leadership attempts to
control the situation that I am aware of, not only in cases I have first hand
knowledge of, but also in stories others have shared with me about things they
have witnessed in their own congregations.
You talked about your experiences with abuse
as a child in your Our Stories Untold narrative. I know that you’ve also
experienced the dynamics you’re describing here as an adult whistleblower in
your church. Can you talk about that experience at all?
It was a very difficult experience. I
fortunately had the full support of my immediate family, as well as a good
support network outside of the church, so that helped a lot. But it was still
not a fun experience to need to take a stand when there was an attempt to hide
abuse in our own church. Some years before, after long soul searching, my
husband and I had determined that we would never again sit by while abuse was
covered up or hidden. We had seen it happen over and over in churches, and seen
the fallout for the victims and their families. So in that sense, when it came
to the test, there was no decision to make, and that made it easier. We knew we
couldn’t be complicit, and we weren’t. We lost a lot due to our decision, but
as things work in God’s economy, we gained more than we lost. We don’t regret
our decision to take a stand at all.
And now you’re part of a larger network of
people, both inside and outside of churches, who are trying to bring more
attention to abuse in Plain communities. How did that start?
Well, that would be a LONG story! But in
short, because of my own history, I obviously had a huge interest in supporting
victims and learning to understand better what the dynamics were for abuse
situations. I’d done a lot of self education, and learned to know others who
had a heart and passion for protecting children and helping victims heal over
the years. Fortunately, I was able to identify and connect with safe people who
are also working in this field. They are a blessing to stand shoulder to
shoulder with, working on this important task! And I find the connections just
continue to grow as awareness about child abuse grows! I think the more we
connect, the greater strength we are gaining as we join our voices together. We
have more ability to network, and create changes that are for the good of
victims! And I can’t emphasize enough that what are “best practices” for
stopping abuse, and protecting and healing victims, are ALSO for the best good
of our churches, homes and communities! While they may seem to create “more
pain” in the short term, in the long run, these are best for everyone.
One small example would be supporting a victim
in getting effective counseling and genuine support for healing. The ripple
effects from that one person becoming more personally healed and healthy will
ripple out to affect so many, many more people. For example, co-workers, a
spouse, children, the church and on it goes. On the other side, the effects of
a hurting, broken person also ripple out to impact others in negative ways. So
which do I want to be a part of? Healing and wholeness, or dysfunction and
pain? If we want to empower our families, churches and communities, we need to
stand against abuse, practices which enable abuse, and start the process
towards health and wholeness.
What you’re saying sounds so incredible and
needed, and yet I know you’ve faced some pretty intense pushback. You have a
movement here that isn’t dependent on instruction from church leaders. How are
church leaders responding to that?
Well, it depends. It ranges from church
leaders (some plain, some not) blessing me, to some in leadership positions,
and some who are not, really pushing back. I’ve been told I’m going to face
God’s “judgement”, people have been warned about me and so on. I think some
people feel very threatened by what I am doing. On the other hand, many people
are eager for information, education and support! I know what God has called me
to do, and my heart’s desire is to follow Him no matter the cost to me
personally. Children’s lives are at risk, the future of our churches and
communities are at stake, and I cannot stand idly by.
When I look at the movements against sexual
abuse in evangelical and Catholic contexts, it’s pretty common to see church
leaders who seem to understand that some gigantic ship has sailed, but don’t
seem to understand that it’s too late for them to get control of the ship. So
they end up organizing big events to educate about sexual abuse, talking about
the importance of helping survivors to heal, and positioning themselves as
experts for congregations seeking help with abuse prevention. But I also see
lots of survivors critiquing those actions. Do you see similar patterns in
conservative Anabaptist circles?
For years, what I saw mostly was individuals
here and there in some of the “mid-level” conservative groups (for lack of a
better term) position themselves as people with a desire to help people heal.
Some have done some great good. Others (based on survivor stories being told to
me personally) have done some good, and some great harm. Many times these
individuals have very little understanding of trauma and the long term impacts
on the brain and body, and feel that some specialized prayers are going to heal
the victims. When it doesn’t work as they think it should, they blame the
victims. I know of one “healer” who has gone so far as to state that he wishes
he could give these balky, unforgiving victims (as he views them) a good sound
spanking to cure them.
More recently, there has been a bigger
movement by some in the plain community to bring “awareness” to the sexual
abuse crisis among plain churches, and some of the patterns you referred to,
with people positioning themselves suddenly as “experts” and wanting to hold
big events. However, I’m also noting that the voices of survivors are so far
very lacking in events like that–and the survivors are the real experts, truth
be told. Concerns which have been expressed about the omission of survivors at
events have been met with a plethora of excuses, ranging from the alleged
inability to find survivors who are “healed enough” to speak at events, to
remarks about “overly emotional victims” who would cause more harm than good
and so on. So it’s clear that there are still real issues with those who
profess to want to help, not having a clear understanding of what best
practices in this type of work look like.
Do church leaders ever listen to you? Do they
ever consult you as an expert?
At this point, there has been a limited amount
of that. I would say victims, those concerned for victims, and other
victim advocates are where the bulk of my time and energy are going currently.
I also spend a lot of time educating on prevention of abuse with parents who
are concerned that they do an effective job protecting their children, as well
as others concerned about child safety. And that is an area I am very
passionate about, so I enjoy that work.
Are there other cases that you’re dealing with
right now that you can talk about?
As you know, in work like this, discretion and
confidentiality are extremely important, so I can’t talk freely about any case
generally. However, I do have permission to share the following. A former
victim who has been emotionally impacted by hearing about a current case,
recently reached out to me for support and a safe place to talk. I can share
that this was a case of abuse of a minor, who is now an adult, and they
initiated a lawsuit against the man who abused them as a child, and the church
the adult was a member in. There is allegedly a very wealthy church member who
was able to take legal action, which resulted in the church itself being
dropped from the suit. However, the suit against the individual is still
ongoing. I am definitely keeping an eye and ear on the case, as well as seeking
to be a safe place for this former victim, who needs a place to talk about the
emotional impact on them of the legal proceedings.
Wow. That’s horrifying. In my experience as an
advocate, it’s really difficult and scary for survivors to pursue lawsuits,
even outside of closed communities like this. There’s all the public judgment
that comes with suing, and then there’s the retraumatizing aspect of the legal
proceedings, and the financial risk. I can’t imagine how much some of these
things would be amplified for someone going up against a separatist Anabaptist
community. Do you think there will be more abuse-related lawsuits against Plain
churches?
I don’t know, but it would not surprise me. I
believe as survivors are realizing more and more that they are not alone, that there
are large numbers of us who were abused as children in one way or another,
whether by older juveniles and/or adults, and the abuse has been repeatedly
ignored at best, or actively covered up by churches at worst, and that some of
us were abused further by the church in one way or another, there is a bigger
and bigger outcry rising up. As The Plain People’s Podcast is making clear, these cases of abuse
are not isolated incidents here and there. They are happening over and over in
a variety of plain communities.
While you and I both know that child abuse is
NOT just a problem in Anabaptist communities–it’s very present in all kinds of
communities and churches–what I personally am very knowledgeable about is the
Anabaptist communities. And while my heart breaks for any child being abused, I know
first hand how unable to access any outside support and help I was as a child.
I was surrounded in every facet of my life by the same people–I went to the
church run school, my friends were part of families who went to the same church
group, my father was employed at a business that was church affiliated, and on
it went. It made accessing help to escape the abuse very unlikely, and as you
know from my story, it did not happen.
Rosemarie, thank you so much for sharing with
us and for the incredible work you do. I have one last question for you: If you
could share any advice with Anabaptist church leaders, what would it be?
Pretend you have a captive audience!
First of all, I would like to tell them there
is incredible freedom in walking in the Light of God and honesty. That Satan is
who brings fear–which leads to control, and then to abuse. God’s love sets us
free and empowers us to walk with integrity and honesty in our relationship
with Him and others. When we are living in a right relationship with Him, and
know how much He truly loves us, and feel that love in the depths of our
hearts, we are equipped to love people wisely and to relate to them without
behaving in controlling and abusive ways. Secondly, I would like to tell them
that strong people understand that they can only truly control themselves, not
others. By setting others free to be who God wants them to be, we most empower
them. And third, I would like to point out to them that children thrive best in
safe, loving and gentle environments, and children who grow up thriving, become
adults who thrive. If we want to see our churches, homes and communities strong
and healthy, we must take seriously stopping this toxic cycle of abuse and
control. This is my genuine heart cry for the Anabaptist homes and churches–and
for all homes,
churches and communities.