Letters About Neoliberalism

Letters by Pete Jackson (Ajax the Great), Rasa Von Werder, and William Bond:

PETE:

By the way, I found a great article today about neoliberalism, that topic that I have written about in the past:

https://nbmediacoop.org/2022/10/24/commentary-liz-truss-and-neoliberalisms-blurted-confession/

Neoliberalism is the modern version of the religion of the world, the flesh, and the devil, basically.  And it inevitably creates a dystopian hell on earth.  It basically began with Milton Friedman in the early 1970s, was first exported to the Global South (starting with Pinochet in Chile), and then was adopted by both Reagan and Thatcher, and almost every politician ever since.  Left and right have become two wings of the same bird, basically.   And the rest is history....

Noam Chomsky calls it "late capitalism", the terminal stage of this cancerous system as it slowly self-destructs and  devours all it can before it finally dies.  One could also call it "late patriarchy" all the same, for the same toxic reasons.

Pete

RASA:

Good God, Pete.  This Neoliberalism sounds spooky & the fact that it's being employed, was employed, I never even knew such a POV was in existence.  But it's ominous, evil.

If what you say is true then good, the last pangs & it dies.

PETE:

Amen to that!

Good evening, Rasa.   Very true indeed.  I found another such article too today:

https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2022-10-04/uc-j-bradford-delong-economist-reaganomics-neoliberalism

RASA:

wow the way you describe neoliberalism, people should see it

PETE:

Indeed, I had written articles about it in the past.  And I will likely write another one about it soon as well.

Best wishes and have a nice day,

Pete

WILLIAM:

Neoliberalism is simply a financial system where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

William

PETE:

Well-said, William.  It's a "reverse Robin Hood economics" system:  Rob from the poor, give to the rich, and torpedo what's left of the middle class, basically.  Rinse and repeat. Eventually there are only two classes left:  master, and serf.

Here is a good Glossary of Neoliberal Newspeak:

"Austerity" = HUNGER GAMES (for all but the rich, of course)

"Shared sacrifice" = see "Austerity"

"Trickle-down" = TINKLE-DOWN and VACUUM UP

"Supply-side Economics" = see "Trickle-down"

"Growth" = GREED

"GDP" = GOD DAMN PROFITS

"Poverty" = a feature of neoliberalism, not a bug, to say the quiet part out loud

"Flexibility" = where only the employees, NOT the employers, are expected to be flexible.

"Public goods" = something to be avoided at all costs

"Deficit spending" = only bad when THEY say it is, otherwise it is good clean fun

"Balanced budget" = balanced on the backs of the working class, that is

"Efficiency" = whatever benefits the oligarchs, no matter how wasteful

"Waste" = anything that benefits the non-rich, no matter how useful

"Entitlement" = a pejorative for anything that benefits the non-rich, especially the poor 

"Welfare" = the ultimate snarl word, even worse than "public".  See "Entitlement".

"Free trade" = NEOCOLONIALISM and UNFAIR TRADE

"Freedom" = only for the elites

"Rules" = always for thee, NOT for me!

Pete

 

10-19-22                 Letters re our mission, William Bond, Pete Jackson & Rasa

              

From Rasa Von Werder:

  First I spoke re animal rights, Pete Jackson responded to that.  Then this:

When I'm done with writing of my life I will begin the promotion.  It will be through contacting all the places, first, which do reviews, starting with the NY Times.......It will be a new genre for me as I've never done much 'legit' promotion through the internet - I was an expert at snail mail & phone - getting to periodicals & TV shows, but never done this route.

 

What I must find out is how do they get the book or books for review?  Do I have to send them 1 or more?  I mean, there will be TEN BOOKS.  How do I decide which one is best if they want one or do I have to send ALL TEN???????

 

People think what we do on regular internet is the tops, but it isn't.  There's more to it, & it isn't easy {for me, until I learn it!}.

 

Not saying just being on the internet isn’t good - it is good but there is another step - mainstream media, which I think I must reach again, what do you guys think?   Rasa

 

From William Bond:

I would have said getting on mainstream media is a good idea ten years ago but not sure now.  Apparently social media shows like the Joe Rogan show gets more views than mainstream media shows. But to get on any popular show whether it is mainstream or social you do need some angle and I'm not sure what it is. 

 

I think matriarchy would be a good idea in our present chaotic world but we now have female leaders who are just as bad as the male leaders. We now have an idiot Female Prime Minister in Britain and you have a idiot female vice President in USA who might even become President next year. So if we talk about matriarchy these stupid female leaders will be mentioned.  I know a female leader of a patriarchal political system is not matriarchy but you need a brain to work that one out and concepts like this would be difficult grasp in our present insane world.  William

 

From Pete Jackson:

Indeed, humans are the most dangerous species on Earth, by far.  As the saying goes, "We have met the enemy, and he is us."  So it makes sense that other species would be more scared of us than we are of them.

 

I don't known mainstream media is a good idea or not at this point.  It is so heavily censored and controlled by the oligarchy these days.

 

And yes, today's Female "leaders" leave an awful lot to be desired, and are just as bad and idiotic as the men for the most part.  Many are "dicks in skirts", and the others are just plain dumb or clueless zombies.  Liz "Catrusstrophe" Truss (PM of the UK) is truly a joke and embarrassment, (while the disgraced wee-willy wanker Boris probably says "Miss me yet") while VP Kamala Harris is ok IMHO but hardly an ideal leader.  Governor Kathy Hochul of NY is also subpar at best, really no better than her big-shot predecessor Cuomo.  Governor Gretchen Whitmer of Michigan, once tyrant, is OK now, but only because the state legislature belatedly revoked her heavily-abused emergency powers last year.  Good riddance to former Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany too, too bad her failed energy policies are a gift horse that keeps on giving.  Even the once-vaunted Aung San Suu Kyi of Myanmar, thought to be a human rights icon, presided over a literal genocide recently, of the Rohingya people.

 

As for "Saint" Jacinda Ardern of New Zealand, well, she has certainly fallen from grace since the plandemic began.  She was groomed by the WEF, after all.

 

The Scandinavian Female PMs are OK I guess, but still far from exemplary.

 

To say that any of the above Women are better than their male counterparts, which may very well be true in some cases, is a rather pitifully low bar to clear.  (End of rant.) 

Though to be fair, if Kamala ever did become VP to succeed President Joe Biden, it would sure be fun to watch big, tough-guy Putin having to beg a Woman for mercy, lol.  Something that we came THIS CLOSE to happening with Hillary Clinton.   Best wishes to you both,  Pete

 

From Rasa Von Werder:

Wow Pete, that was a mouthful.  To be honest, half the women you named I never even heard of, lol, as I don’t keep up with politics & current events.  And so, I have no opinion of them except I wanted a woman President as a symbol & I was sad that Hillary didn’t make it.

 

The mainstream world has always been evil.  During Jesus time, before & after it, our enemies have always been 'the world, the flesh & the devil.'

 

These 3 entities rivet us to the earth plane.  Once there, the forces of evil can do sport with us - it is his turf, he has the advantage, we the disadvantage because of the weakness of our flesh & ignorance.

 

Yes women have come forward.  It seems black people also have.  If you believe commercials are an indication, black people are now equal in rights & can be as affluent & successful as whites - except - it isn't true - just seems that by their presence in commercials.

 

And women being 'in power?'  It seems they are except they aren’t, lol.  The evil oligarchy is still in charge.  Are they crumbling?  Yes, but so slowly it's hard for us to see the big picture.

 

Now is today's world more evil than the time of Jesus?  The time of the Inquisition?

 

It's supposed to be enlightened since those old days.  But much of it is the same, however 'enlightened.'

 

And so, I must foray, or at least try, into the mainstream media.  The mainstream media does not have to change for me to be in it.  I have to figure out, like I did before, how I can get into it SO I CAN CHANGE IT.

 

I take Jesus & his saints as my exemplar.  He entered into the evil world to change it.  He did not hide in the esoteric, hidden life of the Essenes & later, the Christians in the Catacombs.

 

He preached IN THE OPEN on the streets & Synagogues.

 

I never hid in the 'underground', or 'subculture' like many of my friends.  They are SAFE, for instance, a pornography friend told me, when I asked her how she can stomach the criticism of the world, she said,

 

"I never leave my subculture."

 

To be in the area of 'safety' is not what a reformer, missionary or activist does.

 

When I helped establish female body building - it did not exist.  It was criticized.  I fought the iron doors until somehow, they fell down.

 

Ditto with several other things I did.  The world laughed.  The world ridiculed.  The world resisted.  Then it CHANGED, stopped laughing, stopped ridiculing, stopped resisting.

 

It's almost like a Mother with her child. - The child rebels.  But she has to teach it discipline, toilet training, proper manners, tolerance of others.  Stop doing this, stop doing that.  Do this, do that.  Everything is training & there is resistance, tears, objections -Why I can't do it.  With all training or discipline, there is a struggle.

 

When spiritual leaders enter the world they become targets of resistance.  People don't want to change.  They attack the messenger.  But the messenger must bear it & keep fighting - it is the Army of Mother God.  I am a soldier.  She sent me.  I await my orders.

 

From Pete Jackson:

Amen to that!  If there is anyone who can shift the Overton window of acceptability regarding the mainstream it would be you.  And do it you will, one way or another, God willing.

 

There are some truly wonderful Women out there that would make excellent leaders if they were able to take power, but alas the game is so heavily rigged by the oligarchs that one pretty much has to be a psychopath or at least a psychopath-adjacent narcissist to have any real chance at winning.  Or be a clueless meat puppet that unwittingly does the bidding of psychopaths, perhaps.  Either way, for the time being, this is why we can't have nice things.  

 

I forgot to mention Gov. Kristi Noem of South Dakota.  She is a "mixed bag" overall.  I think she was great for bucking the trend in regards to lockdowns, mandates, and stuff like that.  SD was the freest state of all, even better than Florida in the beginning in that regard. So far, so good.  But she is also an anti-choice conservative Republican zealot all the same, and thus clearly not a feminist.  That said, one could argue that in practice, she was actually more feminist than the lockdown zealots like Whitmer were, given how harmful lockdowns were for Women as a class (except the elites).  Of course, that is a pitifully low bar to clear.     Best of luck with everything and have a good night,     Pete

 

Yes, it is not enough to have women who act like men in charge we need strong, compassionate and caring women leaders. We now seem to be in a world of rapid change. I know Western propaganda is attempting to convince us that Russia is losing the Ukraine war but the opposite is true. Russia is gearing up for a big push during the winter months, when it has all the advantages, and will probably conquer the whole of Ukraine and might even keep going into the rest of Europe. Russia is also winning the economic war.  Europe cannot continue to sanction Russia as it is too dependent on Russian gas and oil and will have to make peace with Russia on its terms. 

 

The USA also has its problems China and Russia are ganging up on the USA and countries all over the world are now falling in line with what China and Russia want and not with the USA. So everything is going to change in the next few years and we in Europe might have to learn how to speak Russian.  The problem is that times of war and conflict does tend to favor patriarchy as people look to a 'strong' male leader to get them out of trouble. Although we might have a strong female leader as some people are predicting the return of Angela Merkel as they claim she is the best person to make a peace deal with Putin. But Angela Merkel is like Thatcher, yes she is strong leader but certainly not compassionate or caring of the people she rules. 

 

Perhaps in these rapidly changing times there might be a chance to push forward a Matriarchal agenda but we cannot do anything until this opportunity presents itself.   William

 

 

From Pete:

And that is unfortunate, William.  I personally hope you are wrong about Russia winning, as I believe they are currently losing and stuck in a quagmire in Ukraine.  They are backed into a corner, and their military is not all it's cracked up to be.  That's why Putin is getting so desperate now that he is "losing face", and is getting more and more brutal in his openly targeting and killing civilians, and there is a fear that he may even use nukes in the near future.  Though that would be a VERY stupid idea for him.  Of course, Putin himself is supposedly not very long for this world, as he is rumored to have cancer, so he may not care much.

 

The very fact that they brought back the draft is 1) yet another sign of desperation, and 2) extremely unpopular and predictably proving to be serious political suicide over there.  The Russian people may very well rise up and overthrow the Putin regime.  The Machiavellian "solution" of conscription is proving to be a razor-sharp, double-edged sword in practice.  At the very least, it seems to have invigorated and galvanized the anti-war movement there, echoing the Vietnam War in the USA. The American military-industrial complex learned that lesson the hard way, and since then has deliberately avoided bringing it back.  Yet at the same time, conscription doesn't always deter war either, I mean, just look at Israel's warmongering over the past half-century or so for example.  So it can really go either way.  When a military is on its last legs like Russia's though, it can easily quicken its death spiral.

 

Russia itself is basically the "sick man of Europe" right now, economically, militarily, and demographically.  And they are increasingly becoming a pariah state with very few friends around the world.

 

China is not doing so hot either, at least economically.  Xi Jinping may have won a third term (you know the election was rigged, of course), but his country is a hot mess on the verge of collapse.  From the ongoing rolling lockdowns to the Evergrande collapse to the housing crash to demographics to increasing enmity from the rest of the world, they are increasingly in a bad way as well.  Militarily, they are still quite strong though, and have nukes, and they currently have their eyes on Taiwan.

 

Not like the USA, UK, and especially Europe, are doing so great either, of course. They are clearly not, though the USA is probably doing the least-worst at the moment. And I agree that the sanctions are a negative-sum game. 

Hi Pete

We seem to have a very different world view on the war in Ukraine. I don't want to get into an argument with you about it, so I think we should leave it at that and just focus on discussing matriarchy.    William

 

 

From Rasa - Hi friends,

You men know a lot about politics / current events  - I don’t, & so I have no opinions on this.  {And I am not TRYING to be an expert.}  I just get sound bytes from ‘Brighteon’ most of which I don’t pursue – they are alarming & sound like the entire world will soon disintegrate, & if it does, it does.  There isn’t anything I can do about it.

          When the Covid fiasco started & I became alarmed, all God said to me was ‘Mind your own business.’

          I find that when I obey God, my life is peaceful & relatively calm – I’m not in Heaven but not in Hell, just a mild in between, which is all one can hope for in the long run.  The happiest year of my life was when I left the world & stayed only with God – no people – no work – no nothing.  But alas, that is not for this world too long, like I was pretty happy being celibate 31 years & God sent me back into the fray.

          My role in the world is not to be an expert or pundit on politics & current events, like I said, I am a soldier, just a small soldier like Lucia of Fatima, Juan Diego or Bernadette Soubirous.  They were great saints, of course, I am whatever God says I am, but like them I only listen to the message / role / project I am given, then I do it, that is all.  I do not explain the entire world – none of these soldiers did.

          Imagine Juan Diego, a poor Indian, trying to explain the political world – or the other saints mentioned who were peasants, poor farmers, moderate education, no status or standing in the world at all.  Lucia was only fourteen.

The world sees me as a strip teaser, adult trade worker, body builder mostly.  My new persona as ‘Guru’ is not as widely known, so my opinions would not be taken seriously – what men do, lol, seems to be THEIR BUSINESS & I am no Machiavelli or Winston Churchill or Hillary.  It’s not my place to even like I said, give an opinion.

Of course I do have opinions on Patriarchy vs Matriarchy, that is part of my mental arena.  That is what I was sent for, that I can give an educated opinion on & I do.

But as I explained, I await the pleasure of Her Majesty.  She says jump, I say ‘how high?’  Like when she told me to quit my mail order business around the year 2000.  I hesitated & She said

“If you continue, I will kill you.”

So that was a definite command.

Again, I wanted to stay celibate.  But she said quit.  I resisted.  Then she said if I refuse, I will be OUTSIDE THE WILL OF GOD.

As far as my next move, which will be promoting my books, I don’t know what her pleasure will be – but whatever it is will be the right thing to do or not do.

Yes, Mother God is within me, not in outer space.  She sees things impossible for me to see as She is always looking at the face of God, Who knows all, sees all, can do all things.  When She gives me an order, instruction or suggestion, at times, I have no idea why.  But I find out later.  My job is to stay close so I can hear her clearly, not get lost in attachment to people & things, then I cant go wrong.

Recently this was put to the test.

I was all out of sun flower seeds & my usual store is in a town called A, which is a half hour away.  I was eagerly getting ready to run out there, as they close at 4:30pm, it was now about 45 mins from that, - hurrying.  Then my inner voice said to go another place a half hour away, called D.  I hesitated.

“That doesn’t make sense,”

I said.

I just have time to get to A – I have no seeds left.  Both places have dollar stores where I can get the rest of my animal food.

Then my inner voice said,

“Do you want to listen to your logic or to God?”

I said God of course & headed out to D.

As I enter the usual route, just on the edge of D, I see a store I never paid attention to, as it looked closed.  They seemed to be a grain store from long ago, it never showed any signs of activity, no signs outside except a faded one that said ‘grain.’  I just felt I should pull over just in case they were open.

So I stop, & it is a viable store, & the owner is looking right at me & I ask him if he has sunflower seeds?  He says yes.

And he puts four 50 lb bags into my trunk!

And then I go to the other stores conveniently there, it feels like a miracle, as I went past this grain store many times& never stopped.  Suddenly I do - & they are open till 5 instead of 4:30! - Which helps me a lot, as I run late.

When I ask God things way ahead of time, She doesn’t always answer.  She waits sometimes until it’s just the right time to start – then tells me what to do.

She’s like a lighthouse.  I don’t see the light until I am getting within reach of land.  Then I see it.

And so some questions remain in the air.  Like how will God want me to promote my life story?

And what does God want me to do about my will?  Do I seek a lawyer to create a non profit, put my resources there?  Who do I leave as trustees & beneficiaries?

She doesn’t help me, I am lost on that for now.

But it means perhaps I am not yet within sight of land.  When I am, She will tell me what to do.     Rasa

 

 

 

 

 

Nick Shows Me his Heaven – (2) God Speaks of a New Man on Earth for Me 

10-17-22  Revelations re Nick – He shows me Heaven in a dreamlike state & explains it

‘Arnold’ or success appears {new man possibility, not certainty – God explains he is a candidate, but he’s not yet decided. If it’s no God will give me another, as good or even better. This puts my mind totally at rest!  But I was NOT looking for a  man at all, honestly!  But God was, for me, lol.}

 

First I asked Mother God to go into more clarity re the dreams yesterday – Why is Nick featured so important.

          She explains.  Mother God says:

 

Look at all the characters in your book.  This portrayal of him is how he comes off in your story – as the most important person, certainly man, in your life.

You had two husbands before him.  The first you do go into detail on but he is a VILLLAIN.  The second is a real good guy but you hardly speak of him as there wasn’t much DRAMA – you were not in love with him, so his synopsis is short – maybe a page & a half {you might add to it later.}

Your Mom is described at length, so is Rev. Judy Swaggart, so is Putz NutOn, your brother, –– but to you these people are villains, not someone you focus on as emotional fireworks, they are persecutors, they cannot be important to you as people you want to hold in your head rent free.  Then there are many ‘affairs’ or those you wee involved with that were murky, nasty & creepy – they fall back into the trash heap of your mind. They are not important to have & to hold, to cherish.

In Part 8 Nick appears – the only man you loved who loved you back in the romantic, sexy & spiritual sense.  It was the full spectrum of love.  He was psychotic & he finally commits suicide, against all your warnings, opportunities, promotions of him, & all the love you gave was not obeyed & now he is dead.

And what is way different about him is now you can SHARE HIM with people because you have that time of photography where you took a thousand photos, photo shopped many, - they are masterpieces of beauty & sex.  The public can SEE who & what you fell in love with & can grieve with you that the ‘Most Beautiful Man in America’ has met an early death by his own hand.  Your breakup devastated him & he no longer wanted to be on this earth, but he wanted to be with you metaphysically, as you promised.  He died to be with you truly.

This story is important, dramatic, makes good reading & will be good watching in a movie.  They can cast the most handsome, exciting young man, paired with you at age 66 when you met.  This is one in a million.

I can’t think of one account in a movie that would feature a teenage male {19} meeting a 66 year old sex symbol, they fall in love & relate for 11 years, she breaks it up & he dies of a broken heart.  Again, stories are worthy when they are different – this is different.

What bothers you is that he is 78 pages so far out of maybe 1,400 so why in the dream, are you giving him half the value?  It isn’t QUANTITY, its QUALITY! 

He Appears in Heaven, Explaining it

 

          He shows me his Heavenly state – I feel it – I’m not there like I was twice, seeing God face to face, I see & feel this in vision.

He says,

          “I am perfectly happy…That means I don’t want or need anything.  On earth, we are driven by desires, needs, chores, work, play, hobbies.  Our minds are always on problems, fears & needs.

          We want to GO PLACES because we think when we do, we’ll be happy there.  For instance, an outing, go to a Park, a club, a restaurant, visiting, sight seeing, etc.

But if one is PERFECTLY HAPPY where one is then there is no NEED to go anywhere to be happy.

And my state is NOT BORING.  It’s perfect fulfillment.  If I WANT to go somewhere or appear in a place I can do so.  For instance, I want to be on a sandy beach with the water in front of me, basking in the sun, palm tress behind me, I can do that with my consciousness, just go there & really physically feel the condition.  We don’t have bodies but the SENSE of our bodies through the INNER SENSES.

Or else, I want to be in the shade in the lovely grass under a tree on a hill overlooking the hot meadows.  I go there, I can smell the natural scents, see the wildflowers, the bees, butterflies, hear the chirping of the birds – everything.

There is never any pressure or fear or ego feelings of high or low, good or bad, wrong or right – everything is PERFECT.  There is perfect PEACE, everything is good, there is no evil, ignorance, mistakes, doubts, fears, anxieties or any negatives of any kind whatsoever.

I don’t years to go see anybody as I am with you, perfectly happy with my Soul Mate who loves me in perfect love.  I am united with your soul in Heaven.

Our souls are always in Heaven, as you know – but you forgot.  I shall remind you.  The entire time we are on earth, our soul remains with God, seeing God ‘face to face.’

A veil descends over our consciousness so that we don’t see this God or our own soul, which is one with God.

You break through to your soul through channeling & sometimes your soul even breaks through to you to warn or advise you – but rarely.  Most of the time you pray & call upon your soul in eternity to help you – She is one with God & answers you.

Now I am One with this soul of yours – your soul & mine united in eternity, just exactly like you said it was.  I believed you & I wanted to be here, so dying to me was a doorway.  I knew it would be a doorway out of my Purgatory on earth & into heavenly Bliss with you & God.  Yes, I have my own Oneness with God but you helped me realize this state through arduous pains & sufferings for 11 years.

My SECRET to you is this:  For the most part – not 100%, but 90% of the reason God sent you back into the world to quit your celibacy & ‘have fun’ was to pick me up & pull me out of my state.  I was in misery, helpless & hopeless, & you saved me.

 

ME:  But saving you did not prevent your death. - An early death from a drug overdose.  You still see this as saving you?

 

NICK:  It was nearly impossible to achieve the perfection on earth that we both wanted – for me.  This was the next best thing.  It was plan B, the alternative, lol.

He continues:

 

          “Here I have no hunger.  On earth you get hungry 3 times a day, have to eat.  I am never hungry here, always satisfied.

Then, one is thirsty.  I am never thirsty here, always quenched.

 

The worst thing was my need of drugs, I was addicted.  This is where Satan came in.  Satan laughed when he got me addicted to drugs.  I was a mild addict when you met me, Ruth Anne got me pulled in lock, stock & barrel.  Not even God could save me, as you said.  Once a person takes drugs every day for years, it’s all over.  They are as good as sold to the devil.

That is why right on my face book I kept talking about selling one’s soul to the devil, then one has to pay.  I spoke about death a lot.  I could see the writing on the wall.  I knew it was coming as I couldn’t stop.  It was a nightmare.  And I knew I was losing you, first, when you were never at the apt.  I suffered.  Then with the help of drugs I mollified myself.

Then you contacted me.  I called, you told me it was over unless I quit the drugs & left Rush Anne & we could have a real relationship – but I wasn’t capable.  I knew my life was over.  Death was the only way OUT – out of misery, into happiness, & here I am.

I have no sex drive but my love drive is perfectly fulfilled. I am swimming in love, bathed in love, I am love, giving & receiving it.

 

How do I look upon my so-called friends of the past?

They are in the QUAGMIRE I was in, still stuck, trapped there.  They’re on a low level.

They were not capable of helping me as they can’t help themselves.

What percent of them are in this state?

All of them except one or two.  Some of the women stuck with the men are alright, but 99% of the men I was close to are hopeless.  It isn’t only drugs – they are ignorant, ignorant of what? - Of spiritual matters, God, metaphysics.

The fact that most of them are earthly failures or mediocre in that respect is not the worst part.  The worst is that they don’t relate to God & they are on the broad Highway to Hell.

On earth we all thought it was a joke, lol, hahaha.  But as soon as our bodies are gone, if we haven’t repented, we are trapped in the everlasting limitation of Hell.  Let’s not go there.

Do I miss them?  Lol, not if you miss cancer.  Cancer is a thing you hope you never get. In order to see them or hear from them I have to enter their state.  That is a bad Purgatory – I don’t want to be there.

ME:  One more question on that.  If these losers had for any reason, recommended me to you or encouraged you to go with me, obey me, would you have done so?

NICK:  Of course they were incapable of encouraging me to do what’s right, but if a miracle occurred & say 3 of them kept pushing me to you it might have helped.  But it was impossible for them to do the right thing as they were stuck in their negative pattern, they could not see past their own needs. It was a hopeless quest for you. They are hopeless & no one is there to save them.  Their own parents & even grandparents are fucked up – like on drugs, criminals, assholes, abusers.  Where do you begin helping such people?  If they haven’t got parents to help them who will?  And how can they help ANYONE?

 

Do I communicate with anyone else in Heaven?  Let’s leave that for the future you can’t pick up everything now, it would take some effort, just relax on that score.

How do I relate to you?

With great sorrow for what I had done.  You tried to help me so hard, almost killed yourself helping me.  But you could not get me out of the quicksand.  I almost pulled you in, but you got out, thank God.

I relate to you the same as God.  We exchange Love every minute, every second, & we are in Bliss.

 

ME:  What do you now think of the two books I created on you, how hard I worked on the photography, putting the books together, the money I spent, the time?  And how did you react?  What is your perspective now?

 

NICK:  Wow, what an opportunity you gave me.  You did not understand how stricken, how sick, how psychotic I was. I was not capable of responding to your efforts, of taking advantage of them.  I couldn’t be a star – I was lucky to get through Day 1, Day 2 & 3, just to be alive.

You are a trooper, a veteran, I wasn’t. You had climbed every mountain, forged every stream, I was wallowing in the muck.  I would slip back to the ‘friends’ who reinforced me, said I was right to ‘party,’ like they were doing.  We were the den of thieves, thieves of our own souls, stealing time, stealing the grace of God that would keep us alive without punishing us.  But karma comes to all, no one can escape.  {End} 

10-17-22  Arnold dream – A message re TRUE LOVE with a NEW MAN 

I’m in this school & I DON’T want to be here.  Later I see Arnold here.

I try to make a place for myself in one room that isn’t used much.  I PLAN TO exercise here – just be LEFT ALONE by the rest of the school & stretch & lift weights here.  I move furniture, it’s a small space, maybe 6’X6’.  In the end I do remove what is there & end up with a BLUE PAINTED CEDAR POST like I have here.  It’s about 40 lbs, I can handle it – it has a sharpish point at the end to stake it into the ground for fences.

It’s here so I’m carrying it out, & when I get to a dimly lit doorway {the whole room is dimly lit} Arnold appears going through the same doorway to my right.

I say,

“Excuse me”

as we kind of bump into each other but we don’t say anything.

I don’t expect any attention or attraction as my hair is cut short like I had in my passport photo on arriving to the States & I’m wearing NO MAKEUP.  I am plain as can be, who would want me?

Later I see him in my room rummaging on a long table top for something – there are things here that don’t belong to me, he’s going through them, maybe they are bowls full of drink?  They remind me of my Holy Mass lights, but they are bowls with like wax like that wax inside my candles, but yet, it’s some kind of food or drink, the food or wax is grey.  There are MANY & he’s taking them for other people.  My bed is here also to the right, high up like in my guest room, & my light blue undies are here.

I say to Arnold,

“Did you want something of mine?”

He seems neutral.

I hold up my undies, then realize they’re dirty & want to hide them after, but I say,

“I thought maybe you wanted these”

He laughs & says

“I’m not a kid,”

meaning he wants the REAL THING, not undies to masturbate by.

I hide my undies under a cloth bag of laundry, lol, I am embarrassed by them.

There was also a spot in that room I squeezed into & the music instructor caught me, he was pissed.  He’s fairly young, like 35, has the kind of wavy hair from the 40’s like the young composer in “the Red Shoes” where the hair is wavy from the roots down, this guy’s hair falls like below his ears {Anton Walbrook, another star of this movie, had hair even more like that – this was 1948} & this actor played a boyfriend of Moirs Shearer who was consumed with JEALOUSY so he’s filled with ANXIETY that I had done something with his music machine!  I somehow got into a TIGHT SPOT behind/inside this music machine & I strain to squeeze out.  I squeeze myself out & make up a LIE to cover myself,

“I’m looking for a GOLDEN RING my mother gave me.”

There are wire connections here & he was real scared I had messed them up but defiantly I tell him,

“Look, they are all fine.”

The machinery was all black.  This room must be the music room but not used much this man is somewhat nervous abut its propriety & the machines in it, etc.  What am I doing there? 

And I see Arnold standing around, I’m standing around & want to get the fuck out of here.

 

*** (MUSIC MACHINE, ANXIOUS MUSIC PROFESSOR, I SQUEEZE INTO A SPOT, GETTING OUT, LOOKING FOR A GOLDEN RING MY MOM GAVE ME!  It took me a while to get what this means so glad I didn’t post it until next day.

The anxious, jumping out of his skin music teacher who is concerned about what I’m doing here with the black music machine is pretty funny.  Maybe not to him.  It is NICK who is AFRAID / JEALOUS that my NEW ‘LOVE INTEREST’ will mess up OUR MUSIC – which means our joyful, mellow relationship or ‘nectar’ of devotion.  {Your love is MUSIC to my ears.}  The music machine is BLACK because he’s dead, it’s not GREEN as such a machine might be on earth.  It’s METAPHYSICS, that which is not understood – black – mysterious to those of the earth.

This ROOM is not used very much for classes because few people relate to the spiritual, non physical world.  That’s why I was earlier trying to make SPACE for myself here – just me – wanting to be LEFT ALONE by the rest of the ‘students’ {people}.  I wanted to EMPTY MYSELF {remove all the furniture} which means SPIRITUAL POVERTY or being UNATTACHED.  So within this room I have MY OWN SPACE – just me – but then later I see another area where this anxious music man is.  And he is especially worried re the WIRE CONNECTIONS, that I had somehow messed them up.

These wire connections are the ENERGY CONNECTIONS like ‘wired’ to communicate.  Without these connections he & I cannot speak to one another – this worries him terribly.  {This explains why most people cannot communicate metaphysically with those who have gone to the other side – be it in Purgatory or Heaven or even Hell I suppose – they don’t have the connections which are seen as WIRES….. but they are much more subtle than that in real life.}

Now I am HERE in his music machine & I am looking for something.  In the dream I say it’s a LIE but it isn’t.  I am calming Nick down.

I’m telling him that my interest – if any – in this new man has by no means interfered with our relationship or connections.

Looking for THE GOLDEN RING MY MOTHER GAVE ME is probably this:

The Golden Ring is the TRUE LOVE of a man & woman & this was PROMISED ME by God for years regarding Nick.  I was SHORT CHANGED because Nick took his life with a drug overdose.

I was promised in no uncertain terms – plainly, absolutely, that Nick would be my husband not only spiritually, but physically here on earth.

When God makes a promise it is never reneged, nor is a Gift of God ever taken back.

This Gift was taken from me, but God gives ANOTHER PERSON to take his place on earth.  

Below my apt & how I looked when dating Nick - we met there mostly

The same thing happened with Clive.  I renounced Clive who I was in love with for a while.  It was all wrong.  But this renunciation opened the door to Nick.

Then Nick was taken from me physically, this opened the door to ‘Tom’.

I DID NOT EXPECT THIS.  I thought,

“I guess my love life is over.  God promised me something that was not given.  I just have to suck it up & be content with other things.”

I had GIVEN UP.  I stopped wearing makeup & beautiful clothes – dressed plain.  This man saw me twice with not one iota of makeup, plainest of house clothes, & yet, he WAS INTERESTED in me at age 77!  {He is middle aged, looks around 40.}

Nothing has happened yet except an exchange of #’s.  He has not called.

But this dream of ARNOLD forebodes SUCCESS of the HIGHEST ORDER.

And me seeking the RING my Mother gave me is seeking the physical, love on earth, that She / God PROMISED ME

PS  I channeled Marlene Dietrich & she said,

“God is waiting for his decision, he has to say ‘yes’ but he has not yet done so – he’s going back & forth – yes, no, yes no.”

And Marilyn Monroe said,

“Yes, God knows all, but I cannot tell you without her permission.”

It’s a ‘wait & see’ situation, Marlene says just think about God & see what happens.  If this man says no there will be another, as good or even better.  Trust in God, not men.”}

 

*** {OVERALL MEANING {what this describes, meaning wise, is what happened in REAL LIFE}:  This has to do with the repair man who gave me his number {real life} He was here before & very kind.  Gave me his # then – I thought at first it was only for repairs, then later thinking, he might have given me it to get together.

I needed repairs again, 6 months later, & this guy shows up, {real life} & this same man I met before also shows up as the first guy said,

“He was in the area so he came to help,”

in other words, he VOLUNTEERED, he was not the man assigned {I figure that – he came not because of wanting to help but for seeing me.  And he had his phone neatly written carefully on a sticky note – last time it was BLUE – this time it was GREEN.  Could be a symbol last time it didn’t work out, this time it will, blue being sad, green being life.}

I thought, could this be the man I met before?  I had a feeling.  And I never took a good look at him before, as I’ve given up here at home, trying to attract anyone, looking plain as can be, no makeup, ugly clothes, etc.  But when I did look, he is handsome, tall & masculine.  I could go for him.

And yet, he liked me enough to give me his phone the first time, & also the second time.

But I wasn’t sure what it was about.  I said to him,

“Did you want a date?”

And he said,

“We can talk”

which sounded TENTATIVE like he wasn’t sure.

I had also given him my number.  I don’t want to be chasing guys any more.  I looked at his # & thought should I call him or not?  What does he want?

And this dream tells me he wants the ‘REAL THING.’

Usually when men speak of the ‘real thing’ they mean sex.  But the bowls now will tell another story.

The many small bowls on the long table in my room – but the table is not mine, not all the things on it are mine.  He is taking some bowls I sense to feed people – mostly men. 

These BOWLS that remind you of the Mass & candle have to do with LOVE.

He is TAKING some of this love – he needs TRUE LOVE – GOD’S LOVE & he is RECEIVING IT FROM YOU, JESUS & MARY.  That is why you are saying like this is in your room, but it’s not YOURS, it’s the BODY & BLOOD of JESUS & MARY!  He wants this love.

He wants THE REAL THING now the interpretation changes.  This is a SYMBOL of something MORE THAN SEX.  This man wants real love!  The idea bout the panties is just physical.  But the table & nourishment there puts a new meaning to this entire dream.

ARNOLD is GREAT SUCCESS.

If this man wanted just sex, it doesn’t seem like it’s a great success.  But if he wants to share TRUE LOVE then IT IS.  Could God have brought him to you?

Why are my undies dirty?

This again might be saying it’s not the lower form of love he wants – which just of the earth or dirt – he wants something higher, more meaningful, & you become aware of this & ashamed you assumed he was just like every other guy, thinking only of sex.

 

Who is the nervous wreck teacher who is all upset about my invading his music room & I make up a story about losing the golden ring my Mom gave me?  And why am I making a space to exercise in this room & want to be left alone?

The GOLDEN RING is a fortuitous symbol & it speaks of TRUE LOVE.  In the context of the previous meaning of the dream, this is getting to sound serious.

You were set to be ALL ALONE, your 6X6’ space, do your own thing, just exercise alone – no other students, no gathering of classes.

But since this is a school there is something to learn here - & this Arnold man is learning it also.

But God might have other plans.

A MUSIC ROOM is a place of joy & happiness.  Music is mostly joy, not sorrow or loneliness, & it is usually done in company.