James Brown Understands –Repents of Hurting Me
Upon waking with this dream I was baffled & spent an
hour in bed going over it, then it made sense.
I am on the street & realize James Brown is chasing
me. There’s no reason why but I’m afraid
& I run like Hell. There are many
shops on the way & I run into one that is convenient. The pharmacist is usually there; thank God
he’s here now. It’s just a small plain
store with a counter against the back wall, everything light, & I exclaim,
“Call the police”
And I see him dial ‘911.’
He’s wearing a white coat.
Wow, I’m glad to be in here as I feared James wanted to do
me harm – very afraid.
But as long as I stay here I’m safe, he won’t DARE come into
the shop to hurt me.
I see him sitting across the street. He is waiting for me to come out. Every 2-3 minutes he looks up to see if I’m
still here.
He was wearing a strange outfit, a suit made of thick soft
olive green wool – very conservative, not like him at all.
After a while he’s warm, takes off the jacket & changes
his position. He’s more to the right,
& now I see he’s got on a very bright blue sweater vest, sitting there
facing right. His head is BALD.
The pharmacist changes into a woman & seems to be in
love with me. He/she wants to hug me,
climbs over the counter & does so, several different times while I’m
here. But it’s kind of embarrassing
because as a woman he has large breasts just like me & when we hug our
chests touch. That’s slightly uncomfortable.
Another friend gets involved. She comes into the pharmacy—not to buy
anything, but to help me. She’s that
Wicca lady who once long ago {2010} sent me a love charm & love spell –
can’t think of her name! Let’s call her
Cathy. She’s wearing dark clothes, a
short but full skirt & glasses.
She’s big – not fat – tall & large boned.
We three are thinking how to deliver me from James & his
pursuit. The pharmacist tells me,
“I own an apt building where you can go & hide out for a
while.”
And he adds,
“It’s a luxury building.”
But we have to make a run for it, quickly leave the store
& run with all our might, hoping James did not see me & starts running
too late to catch me. Why there were no
police I don’t know.
So we alight into the street & run, I am going so fast I
leave my pharmacist & Cathy behind me.
We go for a while, fast as lightning, & make a right turn &
appear in an unexpected place, in front of a house that is not what I
expected. This is the place I will hide.
It’s not a building or luxury apt building, it’s a house off
from the city, there seems to be something like an old railroad track behind it
to the left, then wide open spaces. It’s
a one story house {I think again & again, not burglar proof, safer to be up
on a 2nd or higher floor}, painted dark red, small, modest, & it
even has a clothesline in front of it, about 50’ long going from one side of
the house to the other, where the line crosses the front of the house there is
no laundry hanging, but to the left & right of the house, laundry hangs –
all white – like flags almost – laundry not close but with several feet between
each piece. So different than what I
imagined.
At this point it seems like the pharmacist & Cathy kind
of fade away & I’m imagining the rest.
My imagination puts a widow here, whose husband left her for
another woman, took half their money & left. But after a couple years he died. She had a job & kept working it to
survive, but after he died she got a pension so survival was OK.
This lady is very nice.
The pharm told her he’d give her half a month rent off for hiding me for
a while {until we believes James will tire of looking for me}. I’d get room & board but if I want to, I
can get my own food from town.
She welcomes my presence as someone to talk to for a while
as she’s all alone. All her children
& grandchildren live in other states & there isn’t much communication.
And I imagine where we turned off the main road & came here, James wouldn’t be able to find me, I’m safe.
Meaning:
It’s been a while since James, with my help, ascended into Heaven. {He died Dec 15, 2006 & I did not even know he was dead until about 4 years later. He appeared, I gave him the Sacred Kiss, his Guardian Angel immediately took him to Heaven.}
Apparently their comprehension isn’t instant, during what we call time; they come to understand things they originally did not.
What he’s come to realize is that when I chased him – which
frightened him & he ran like crazy & that ended our relationship – it
was because I was suffering from the disorder of PTSD – from the abandonment of
my Dad & abuse of my Mom.
My need for love was so intense it caused me to chase
whomever I loved because of anxiety, a sickness. As soon as I loved someone this disorder
would kick in – it’s happened dozens of times, to various degrees, with him it
was bad.
My fear is only a parallel to his fear, when I, for
instance, chased his limo & another car through the Hollywood Hills after
he performed at the Hollywood Bowl. They
at one point stopped both cars, had a conference, & decided to split
up. But I guessed he was in the limo,
stayed behind that until he got to the hotel – I think the name was Ciro’s –
close to the Whiskey A Go Go on Sunset Blvd, pulled in right behind them &
there saw James exit the vehicle with a tall brunette he’d picked up for the
night. This is not the point of the
dream, the point is something else.
It is to say that he finally understand my plight & he
regrets hurting me.
This plight is shown in his BALDNESS which is when a person
loses their sanity.
And second, he takes off the olive jacket & there sports
a bright blue sweater vest. The blueness
is sorrow. He’s now sorry he hurt me, as
he didn’t understand my emotions & rejected me because of his fear – the
fear I feel in the dream.
The thick, fuzzy olive suit is ‘army green,’ which shows his
defensiveness. When he removed the jacket or his defensiveness you see revealed
the sorrow for what he did.
The pharmacist represents I am sick & need meds for
anxiety – which I did not take. When he
turns into a woman & hugs me shows how much I needed love from my Mom, but
did not get it. Both parents depriving
me of love was a hard road to take.
Now the end is the end of my life, where I find PEACE.
The white clothing hanging there means this:
What does a white scarf mean?
Khata (Hada) is a fabric scarf used for gifts by Tibetan people and Mongolian. The meaning of the Khata scarf is good wishes and respect. In Tibetan monasteries, Khatas mean greetings to monks and Buddha. The Tibetan scarfs' colors are fixed. The most common color is white, as auspicious as Tibet's snow.
This ‘hanging laundry’ means ‘peace’
& ‘welcome’ to me. It is my
RESIDENCE / LIFE today.
I GOT AWAY from being in love with
earthly beings like James & others by conquering the anxiety. This happened finally after the last lover,
Nick. I did rise above my human disorder
when I forced myself to stop obsessing.
It took 2 years of absence from him on purpose, denying myself the urge
to chase him. So I was free at last.
The other statements I imagine are
simply explaining how I love today – alone & happy. Family far away & sometimes desiring
company, but nothing extreme.
Question: Why did the pharmacist mislead me as to my
destination & why is my house painted dark red, & only one floor where
in real life there’s more than one?
Actually, the one floor house, out of
the way, shows no anxiety, because in dreams, the symbol of being high up like
on bridges, elevators means anxiety. You
are SAFE by being ‘out of the way,’ not in the spotlight, not with people,
alone. Being alone is your safest spot,
they can’t get to you, they can’t hurt you.
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Excellent work, Rasa! This one came out great as usual, very interesting, and plenty of cute fuzzies as well.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes and keep up the great work,
Ajax