The Masochistic Man
In
the past and even now religions like Christianity, Judaism and Islam
encouraged men to play the dominant role in their relationships with
women.
The
problem is for most men that only a handful of men get to play the
dominant role. In our hierarchical system only the leaders are in a
dominant position and have real power, most men are powerless. So the
femdom scene reflects the true situation of the majority of men in
any patriarchal society.
It
is true that patriarchy does encourage men to be dominant in their
relationships with women and are made to feel ashamed if a woman
dominates them. In the Western world up until the second half of the
20th century if a man failed to dominate his wife he was considered a
wimp and not a ‘real man’.
In
Islamic countries it was even worse with the ‘honour’ system. In
this culture if a woman didn’t respect or disobeys her husband or
male relation he was ‘dis-honoured’. The only way he could then
regain his honour was to beat her up or murder her.
This
then begs the question; if it is natural for a man to be the dominant
sex, why does it need such an extreme violent custom to enforce it?
If it was a natural behaviour it wouldn’t need to be enforced by
any violent custom. This suggests it is not natural for men to be the
dominant sex.
Because
of this many men are either forced to play the role of a dominant
male even though he doesn’t want to do this. Or the woman’s
dominance is kept a secret and she only dominates him behind closed
doors. Though it seems that women are not into dominance and
submission in the same way men are.
Females
are different because they also connect sex with love because sex
gives them children with whom they have a deep maternal love. This
suggests that men and women are different as men connect sex with
dominance, submission and violence while women connect sex with love.
Though there is a crossover, men can teach women how to connect sex
with sadomasochist desires and women can teach men how to connect sex
with loving relationships.
The
problem is that this can also create a misunderstanding between men
and women. This is because many men assume that women who love them
deeply must be masochistic and feel they have the right to abuse
them. This is because masculine men see love as a weakness. They
think, “nice guys come last” and so a loving person must be a
loser. As the result, it is assumed by them that cruel and sadistic
people are strong, while caring and loving people are weak.
This
ignores that fact that loving women have to be very strong to be
pregnant, give birth and then devote their lives in caring for
helpless children. If women didn’t have the strength to do this,
the human race would have become extinct long ago.
The
masculine attitude affects the whole of patriarchal life. Male rulers
like kings, emperors and presidents are told they have to be cruel
and ruthless to be effective rulers. Generals are told they have to
ruthlessly and use their troops like pawns on a chessboard and not
care about casualties. There are also told to show no mercy to the
enemy if they want to win.
Soldiers
are also considered to be useless if they cannot ruthlessly kill the
enemy. Businessmen are told that they must sack employees when they
are no longer needed. As well as screwing down employees wages as
much as possible, to maximize profits. While politicians are taught
they have to use Machiavellian methods in which to destroy the
opposition and deceive the voters.
So
in this, “dog eat dog” world, love is clearly a weakness. Many
politicians will only talk about love and compassion to win votes and
forget about it when voted into power. But this is only true while
compassionate women are kept out of power and don’t demonstrate
that caring and loving leaders are possible. This is probably why
patriarchal societies have actively tried to prevented women gaining
political, financial and religious power.
The
patriarchal elite have known they cannot stop women from loving so
they have encouraged women to love others but never themselves. So
women were made to feel guilty about this and encouraged to love
brutal men but never themselves or other women.
But
unconditional love is a love for yourself as well as everything else,
there is no-limits to unconditional love. When a woman learns total
unconditional love where she can both love herself and love everyone
else, she can be a caring dominant woman.
This
is in total contrast to what we are told. So the dominance and
submission desires cause men to assume that not only are loving women
masochistic. They also assume that if they love women then they
themselves must be masochistic and must therefore submit to women.
Many
women can love others without the baggage of thinking in terms of
dominance and submission but it is harder for men to do this.
Unfortunately, the femdom scene was created by men and it has been
men who have taught women how to be dominant. So they teach women to
dominate like a man and be cruel and violent.
We
see this is they way women are dressed in Femdom scene where women
wear black leather which is very masculine dress. They also suppose
to dominate through physical punishment which again is a masculine
way of doing this.
Yet
over the centuries many wives have found it easy to dominate their
husbands without having to do anything like this. Women do not have
to adopt masculine methods to dominate men. There are many women who
find it easy to dominate men and their secret is to simply tell men
what to do. Once women realise that men are the submissive sex and
will obey orders from those in authority, she finds many men will
obey her.
This
power can be made more powerful if a woman connects to the belief of
a female God and realise she has a stronger connect to it than most
men. So by this connection she can feel she is a Goddess. This then
gives her a greater authority, which men can tune into and make them
want to serve and obey and worship her.
Many
wives have dominated their husbands throughout the patriarchal age
but don’t go beyond this. This was because in the past women were
only allowed to do menial work and kept away from any high paying
work and so needed a husband’s wage to care for her children. But
today women do not have to be limited by this and can have the same
work as men. Though few women haven’t yet used their Goddess power
to gain both financial and political power for themselves.
The
patriarchy has kept women powerless by getting them to worship male
gods and undermining their confidence. It is well known in sports
that one way to win is to demoralize your opponent through verbal
abuse. This is also used in war, business and politics as well as the
sex-war between men and women.
Many
women cannot understand why men say horrible and nasty things to them
and don’t realise it is part of the power-game men play.
Competitive men look for weaknesses in each other and will exploit
any they find. So if this type of man finds he can upset his
girlfriend by any verbal abuse, he will exploit this to his own
advantage. Men also have the power of violence and can use his
greater size and strength.
This
is because masculine men see relationships as a competitive game of
dominance and submission. This then is a big problem for any women
who think relationships are all about love.
These
dominance and submission desires in men also are reflected in how men
organize themselves. For a group of men to do a task together they
find it easier to appoint a leader who tells the other men what to
do. For this reason all patriarchal societies are organized in a
hierarchical structure.
We
see this in all patriarchal societies were they are ruled by a small
very rich and powerful ruling elite while the majority of people are
poor and powerless. What is also surprising is the small ruling elite
is worshipped by the people.
Logically
this doesn’t make sense, unless it has to do with men’s
masochistic desires to worship winners. The small ruling elite is
seen like the dominant stag or bull as winner and is therefore
worshipped by the losers who are the poor and powerless.
Not
only do men worship the ruling elite they are totally obedient to
them. We see this in warfare where soldiers where obey without
question orders that will put their lives in extreme danger.
Perhaps
it might be that men are the true natural submissive sex because
slavery has been commonplace throughout recorded history. Serfs and
slaves are totally powerless people, they are actually owned by other
people and they have no rights and can be beaten or murdered with
impunity. While the fruits of their labour goes to their owner and
not to them.
Malcolm
X a civil rights movement leader complained that many African
American men had a slave mentality. But this might be true for most
men as we see that slavery, serfdom and the exploitation of working
men has been commonplace throughout history.
It
is true that women have also been slaves but women at least have good
reason for this. Women are smaller, weaker and less aggressive than
men so it is a lot harder for women to fight back when slavery is
imposed on them through violence and intimidation.
If
men are the dominant sex, as claimed by patriarchal propaganda, why
have we had slavery and serfdom? We have had slavery from the time
of the Ancient Greeks and Romans up until the 19th century. So men
cannot be very domineering, if it is so easy for other men to turn
them into slaves and serfs?
We
also find the same situation in the military, where soldiers are seen
as being tough macho men. Yet soldier will obey without question,
the most insane orders which will result in their deaths. The
extremes of this are World War One where soldiers climbed out of
their trenches to face near certain death by machine gun fire because
they were ordered to do so. Or in World War Two where Japanese
Kamikaze suicide pilots deliberately crashed their aircraft into
enemy shipping because they were also obeying orders. Patriarchy
will spin this as iron discipline, but it is also extreme submission
to authority.
The
surprising thing is that the military can train men to kill
themselves when ordered to do so, without any intense brainwashing.
All they do is boss them around on a parade ground and they get so
used to obeying orders that they will obey the most insane orders on
the battle field.
What
is striking about all patriarchal societies is that that they are all
based on a hierarchical structure, where it seems men cannot work
together unless they appoint a leader to tell them what to do. These
leaders then get total obedience to the degree it is very easy for
all patriarchal leaders to abuse their power.
This
is why in all male dominated societies there is a vast gap between
rich and poor because the ruling elite find it too easy to exploit
the people they rule. This is only possible because men have within
them a very strong instinct to obey orders from anyone in a
leadership position. We have had in the past kings, emperors and
dictators who have been obviously insane and yet still retain power.
So strong is men’s instinct to obey a leader.
So
this means that if women want to rule men all they have to do is to
adopt the leadership position. Patriarchy has stopped women doing
this by undermining women’s confidence in themselves. They also
have told women that men are the natural dominant sex and women have
believed this.
The
femdom scene does show us that many men have strong desires to
worship and obey women. But unfortunately the men advise women that
they must act and behave like a macho males to successful dominate
men. Yet most women don’t want to do this and this is why there is
a shortage of dominant women in the femdom scene. If men want women
to dominate them they need to try and understand what women want in a
submissive man and serve her in the way she wants to be served.
Although
men play power-games with each other and with women, most men in all
these power-games are losers. We see this in how patriarchal
societies are designed where a small ruling elite have all the power
and wealth while the majority of the people are poor and powerless.
So
the average man is far more submissive than he is willing to admit.
Women can take over and dominate men once she realized that men are
the true submissive sex. So she can rule men by acting like a goddess
and men will want to worship her.
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