Great Actors & Me

 

 Accounts of Charles Keating & Robert Culp

          Chapter 6  Charles Keating   written 9-29-22

 

          Don’t get set for a big revelation – it was nothing but a visit. But the fact that he took the time, effort to see me I find remarkable; this is a distinguished actor, a type like Richard Burton, & he visited me based on one thing, a picture I sent him of MY FACE.  {So much for my family making me feel UGLY!}

          That’s part of the phenomenon. Usually men went ga-ga over my BODY as it was/is extraordinary, but this did not show it, only the face. If I can conjure up where I put it, I will feature it here, but if I can’t find that particular image & can find one facial shot from the same set, I’ll substitute that.

          It went like this. I was bored & downhearted. When that happens I usually go on a binge watching something special on TV or when my eyes were good {eventually I went half blind until I had surgery}, went binge reading, hours a day.

          At this time there was Brideshead revisited. Can’t recall if I had VIDEOS or if it was on regular TV each day – Brideshead was first aired in 1981 – was it then or were there reruns, because down this chapter I explain talking to him about my mail-order business, & that didn’t start until 1987.

          Why did I send Charles my 8X10 pic & a fan letter? I was impressed by him & his portrayal of an American businessman married to the female star. His character: Rex Mottram. Here’s a rundown of his career from Wikipedia:

 

            UK career[edit]

He appeared with the Royal Shakespeare Company at Stratford-upon-Avon before turning to television (he was in the pilot episode of the long-running ITV series Crown Court in 1972), winning the roles of Ernest Simpson in Edward & Mrs. Simpson and Rex Mottram in ITV's Brideshead Revisited.^[1] In 1978 on the BBC Shakespeare series, he played the role of Rutland, Duke of Aumerle, in Richard II.

US career[edit]

Television/soap operas[edit]

He is best known for his role as Carl Hutchins in the American soap opera Another World from 1983–85, and again from 1991-98 with a final appearance in 1999. He played also Charles in the satirical miniseries Fresno in 1986, which parodied the prime-time soaps of the day such as Dynasty and Dallas.^{[citation needed]}

After Another World ended its run, he returned to stage acting and to Shakespeare in a two-person show with former Another World co-star Victoria Wyndham.^[5][6][7]

During 2001 and 2002, Charles played the part of James Richfield on Port Charles.

In between stints on Another World, he played Dr. Damon Lazarre on All My Children, and Niles Mason on As the World Turns. He also had a role as a professor at a Caribbean medical school that catered to Americans in the short-lived ABC sitcom Going to Extremes as well as a guest role on Sex and the City.^{[citation needed]}

Feature films[edit]

In 1992, he appeared in The Bodyguard. In 2005, he had a supporting role in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo.^[8]

Theatre[edit]

Broadway roles include Loot by Joe Orton (1986), for which he was nominated for a Tony Award for Best Featured Actor in a Play,^{[citation needed]} The Resistible Rise of Arturo Ui (1968) and The House of Atreus (1968), which comprised three classics: Agamemnon, Choephori, and Eumenides.^[9]

In 2001, he played the role of Carney/Oscar Wilde in the Lincoln Center performance of A Man of No Importance. In 2007, he played the role of Clement O'Donnell in the Guthrie Theater production of Brian Friel's The Home Place.^[10]

Awards[edit]

At the 23rd Daytime Emmy Awards, Keating won the 1995 Daytime Emmy Award for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series for his performance in the role of Carl Hutchins on Another World.^{[citation needed]}

Death[edit]

Keating died of lung cancer at the age of 72 on 8 August 2014 in Weston, Connecticut.

 

          For what it’s worth, I’ll tell my story. So I am interested in this wonderful man & send him the parcel. He calls & tells me he usually doesn’t respond to fan letters, but this was special!

          I’m a nervous wreck. I make an appt to meet at ‘Kellogs Diner,’ on the corner of Metropolitan Ave. on the edge of Greenpoint & Williamsburg, B’klyn, near my apt. I used to go there all the time & was comfortable with the place – I felt my building was more complicated to find.

          It was twilight, late afternoon. I put on my favorite magenta soft knitted dress with the rhinestone clasp on the shoulder, the material gathered there. Put on a good, long, wavy honey blonde wig, high heels & voila. On the other side of the St. from Kellogs is a liquor store. I go in & buy a bottle of champagne.  {When I entered Kellogs he was already there, eating something!} I was probably so nervous I needed alcohol, then later when I offered him it he said he didn’t drink! But he did smoke grass – a warning to those who do it – he died of lung cancer!

          I recall the meeting with a bit of embarrassment, as he did not even TRY to make a play for me, in fact, he said,

          “Don’t touch me - my wife can SMELL YOU”

          as he sat on my fold-out couch/bed in my living room, puffing grass.  What was his wife, a BLOODHOUND?  Jeez, never heard of a wife SMELLING another woman on her husband’s body!

          I drank the champagne & we both talked – me & my BIG MOUTH. All I did was BRAG about my business, how much money I was making, how EASY it was for me to make a living from my fan base – men bought objects from me like used clothing etc. {Mostly underwear, bras & panties, but I didn’t tell him that.} Men bought my pictures – hundreds of them – for $5 each & my videos, some cost $120. & they went like HOTCAKES!

          But the reason I talked & bragged so much was nerves. I knew I had to keep my celibacy, I promised it to Our Holy Mother. And what if he tried something & I had to say no? And WTF did I invite him over for, then?  He was a sexy, handsome man - Stressful. And besides that, he was a star of formidable talent – I felt insecure.

          He asked me what I thought of the gay guy portrayal on Brideshead – I thought he was great.

          He spoke of his career & how when he had to do some narrating on PBS there was no script & he had to ‘wing it.’ It seemed he was used to scripts & this was a challenge.

          Our conversation went on about two hours & he had to go. I walked with him downstairs to wait for his car – it took quite a while. He said the word ‘pissed’ a couple times it was taking so long. I felt he was projecting, that he was actually pissed because we didn’t have sex – but that could be my paranoia. It’s querulous.

          And I can’t recall much else, just to this day amazed a great man came all the way out to meet me from a picture of my FACE!  {End Chapter 6}

 

Chapter 7  Robert Culp & Bill Cosby  written 9-29-22

          I wish I could remember how, when & where I met Robert Culp but I can’t. All I remember is we had sex – and we never did sex again, but for a short time communicated.

          As I think back to those times, I neglected the guys that were great & went out of my way for the trouble makers.  Underneath my conscious mind I probably wanted relationships to fail so I could be free & unattached for God – but that’s easy to see now, not so then.

He took me to a restaurant where the owner stood in front & decided who could come in or not – he favored celebrities - called ‘Dominics.’ We went in & Ben Gazzara came to talk to us & was impressed by my looks.

Robert had a big house, & on the grounds was a guest house inhabited by Sammy Davis Jr. My gf Tarita & visited– she had huge implants. Robert asked us both to show Sammy our breasts – his jaw dropped.

That’s all I can recall except this: 

It was either 1968 or “69 while they were producing ‘Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.’  I called Bob & he invited me to the set & talked a lot about his involvement. He was over the top with this machine where you could put each day’s work into a small thingy with screen & review it.  You could then see what was right or wrong & make corrections.

He was disappointed that Natalie Wood wouldn’t go topless! I saw in the movie Dyan Cannon did go topless – she had a great thin little body. But Natalie was embarrassed for being flat chested or else thought she was too big a star.

Now my part. Bob wanted me in the movie, he said, in a scene where I walk into a Vegas Club on the arm of Bill Cosby. He introduced me to the producer or casting man or whatever he was, a young whipper snapper, & suggested it, but the guy turned me down.

Bob said,

“Look at her body!’

But the youngster said,

‘We’re looking for faces now.’

Here’s the rub. I was then involved with that frightful Putz NutOn & he insisted I WEAR NO MAKEUP. So I didn’t. And no woman looks her best without makeup! In Hollywood the makeup is MANDATORY & WITHOUT IT not even movie stars like Marilyn Monroe look good.

This man could not see past a mask – he could not imagine that with grooming – makeup I’d look as good as anyone for the movie.

But in retrospect I am thinking,

“What if I’d been in the movie on the arm of Bill Cosby?  What if he had lured me to that room behind the big hotel where he took many females, drugged me & had his way?”

Indeed, Bill did see me & asked,

“Will you go out with me?”

And I turned him down because of Bob.  If I’d been ‘on his arm’ in a scene there could have been involvement, to my detriment. God or my Guardian Angels might have been protecting me by keeping me out of that movie.

I believe so. Let me channel:

ME:  Mother God, what would have happened had I been in that scene, anything bad?

MG:  There is a STRONG CHANCE something dire could have happened, we did not want you I harm’s way, so the best thing was for you to exit the scene. 

Oh yes, one more memory.  Bob proved to me that Bill was very generous. They were exchanging presents for Xmas or something & Bill gave him a gold lighter. Bob wanted to reciprocate as to how much he should spend on Bill & he went to the store it was bought – Dunhills in Bevery Hills - & asked the price. It was $2,500.  Yiikes!!

I have another anecdote re Dunhills – which was/is a super exclusive store.

When I left my Dad in B’klyn with just a note,

‘Going modeling for the weekend, don’t worry about me.’

& took off by car with a man to Hollywood, CA, I did not contact Dad until I got there.

I appeared at Dunhills – they had a lunch counter where I used to stop once in a while, & I wanted to buy Dad a gift. Dad used an old fashioned brush & face soap for shaving – like they had in 1901, & it was worn out.

They had those kind things at Dunhills, I bought him a set, & years later when I went back to NY he was still using it & said when he received it,

‘I realized you weren’t so bad.’ 

This is re Robert Culp from Wikipedia: 

Robert Martin Culp (August 16, 1930 – March 24, 2010) was an American actor widely known for his work in television.^[2] Culp earned an international reputation for his role as Kelly Robinson on I Spy (1965–1968), the espionage television series in which co-star Bill Cosby and he played secret agents. Before this, he starred in the CBS/Four Star Western series Trackdown as Texas Ranger Hoby Gilman in 71 episodes from 1957 to 1959. The 1980s brought him back to television as FBI Agent Bill Maxwell on The Greatest American Hero. Later, he had a recurring role as Warren Whelan on Everybody Loves Raymond.^[3] Culp gave hundreds of performances in a career spanning more than 50 years.   {End Chapter 7}

 

Soul Ascends into Heaven

 

Soul Ascends—Is it Royalty 9-27-22

It could be about a man who was in love with me since 1986 – madly – he suffered – If he died I was not informed – If not him, then it’s an unknown Soul in Purgatory who ascended after 3 Masses

 

        Just before waking I see the scene I’ll explain, then go backward.

        In front of me are two women.  The one on my left is Princess Margaret, the one on my right, about 10’ from her, the late Queen Elizabeth.

        Margaret I notice first has behind her, like the plumage of a Peacock but sparse, a huge bouquet of flowers.  Mostly I see green spikes of those flowers, similar to tulip leaves but much elongated, about 3-4 feet, spread out behind her & I know with that, but I don’t see it clearly, are either tulips or something.

She exclaims,

“We’ve had a baby!”

And I notice an infant in her arms which I don’t see clearly but it’s a newborn.

 

*** {ROYALTY, FLOWERS & A NEWBORN BABY!  The baby is I know, a Soul that has ASCENDED INTO Heaven!  The flower image behind Princess Margaret says ‘CELEBRATION’ & ‘LOVE’.  It’s like the burst of fireworks.

But why these Royal ladies? Is the person actually royalty or is this a symbol of great spiritual importance?

The latter most probably. Someone ‘Royal’ in God’s Heavenly Kingdom, someone special who suffered a lot & loved a lot.

The fact that the ‘late Queen is here says it’s about someone passed on - & she might represent Our Holy Lady, the Queen of Heaven.

Me to Mother God:  Why is it then that Princess Margaret is holding the baby, not the Queen?

MG:  Princess Margaret is noted for the frustration & disappointment of being denied the man she loved – Mr. Townsend, as her husband. There may be a parallel with the person who’s ascended; he might have suffered being denied the woman he loved so dearly.  You will see as this goes on his jacket of blue represents sorrow, the expensive flowers & clothing – how much he paid suffering wise but might not have won the lady. } *** 

Prior to that scenes of my dancing career. 

I’ve arrived at a club. This has happened before, where I wish I had brought more parts to my costume, like accessories, in this case shoes. I have only one pair of beautiful hi-heeled sandals, which I see sort of blurry, & maybe 2 good outfits. I should have 3 or 4, I regret in dreams ALWAYS FORGETTING to bring more material. But I move forward.

 

        *** {CLOTHING, OUTFITS, SHOES TO PERFORM:  These are Graces, Lights, abilities to HELP OTHERS, like I am saying the Holy Mass almost every day but yesterday apologized that they don’t seem to be as effective as they should, due to my lack of fervency or caring. But I will push on, I said, not be discouraged, because it’s still the Body & Blood of Jesus & Mary & sooner or later, Souls will ascend. Prior to this, I had got discouraged & quit saying the Mass.} ***

 

I see somehow the audience area – it’s a club, not a theater. Men are sitting at tables. There’s one man that’s being PERSECUTED. He’s wearing a beautiful blue double-breasted jacket & has in his hands a bouquet of expensive tulips wrapped in paper. I see in my mind he wants to win one of the performers here – he paid a HIGH PRICE for his clothing & flowers & I feel sorry for him as he isn’t rich, he spent more than he could afford. I also think he drinks a lot – he spends much time in these clubs trying to find love I guess.

 

*** {MAN SPENT TOO MUCH TRYING TO WIN THIS LADY:  This shows the effort & frustration of this Soul to win the love of a lady but it seems she didn’t want him.  He gave a lot, he suffered. This could even be someone who was madly in love with me – Joe from Middletown NY. If he died, no one would tell me. He loved me the way people love movie stars – I was not attracted to him. He suffered greatly.} ***

 

There was one of the dancers here who came up to him & scolded him loudly that he’d been here 3 days in a row!  And the man at the table next t him says the same thing, even more harshly. Both these men’s tables are near the wall, the scolding man right up against it, the one with flowers close to the wall & there’s a door between them.

 

*** {HERE 3 DAYS & BEING PERSECUTED:  The 3 days could be he’s received the results of the last 3 days of Holy Masses.  But on the earthly level, you see t people scolding him which is persecution, adding t his torments.

If it’s Joe B it could be his Mother & Father. I think they knew his infatuation with me was unreasonable, that he was aiming too high. He gave all he had {emotionally} – he even helped support me a few weeks when I was without jobs, but I had absolutely no interest in him as a lover or husband.  These people yelling at him are hurting him.} ***

 

And to intervene, I come out – after all, I am the STAR, I have some authority to speak.  I walk up in front of the two men & begin to explain so what if he’s here 3 days?

And I ask, to make sure, of the flower man,

“Did Pat {the owner} tell you you should not be here 3 days?”

And the man says no.

So I reprimand the scolder & say,

“This man can be here 3 days”

and other words to that effect, that he’s in his right.

So I get it straightened out.

 

*** {MY INTERVENTION:  I stand up for this man, whoever he is, against the scolders.  I refer to did Pat give him permission to be here?  Pat must be a symbol of the Saint, St. Patrick. It can’t be Pat X, the owner of a club who gave me great grief.  So this says the Saint gave him the right of way to do as he did.} ***

 

  Now my appearance is interesting.  I am wearing a jacket that’s classy – black, a thin wool. It has no collar, it just folds one part over the other. The most expensive suit I have {which I never wore} closes like that. {I suspect I gave it to Good Will, having never worn it over years!} I only see my top.

My face has no makeup. I am middle aged with thick eyebrows. I go back to get ready for the stage.

 

*** {MY APPEARANCE:  I’m dressed for a funeral in my MOST EXPENSIVE SUIT. What does this say?  Seek help from Mother God.

MG:  What is your most expensive suit?  The Divine Stigmata is the ‘most expensive’ or terrible Grace you ever had. You lost all that you treasured – all the prior Graces God had given you, you were left bereft of all the Gifts of the Holy Spirit, stripped of everything but FAITH & you remained there for 18 YEARS!

And so, by wearing this, you are saying to this man, Joe B or someone else,

“Joe, I honor you in what you went through. I have been through suffering as great as that.  Here I am to console you.”

If this is Joe it’s been 36 years since he fell in love with me.  Don’t know if & when he died, - he could have died a few years prior.  Last I heard from him was about 15 years ago, when my God Self healed him of throat cancer.

My appearance:  THICK EYEBROWS – Something to do with VISION as it’s over the eyes. Eyebrows up are WONDER or ‘Wow.’  So whatever has happened here has caught my attention.  And NO MAKEUP means no MASK, the REAL ME, real feelings.} ***

 

Before I perform I am in the audience & see my co-star. She’s impressive, has a great body. I recall that face to face, she doesn’t seem to be much. Her face is kind of ‘Appalachian poor – Irish – very light hair, but not glamorous’ close to her head like ‘a little old lady’ – slightly frazzled.  Her voice is small. You’d look past her, like ‘so what?’

But it’s a fact that you don’t always see what a person would be like on stage when you see them on street level. And when she gets on stage – wow – she’s impressive, almost as much as I am – not quite because still, I am the star. 

*** {MY CO STAR:  Lol, it’s my FLESH.  Like Ramana Maharshi reminds us, God is the doer, we are the tools. So here my flesh is described as POOR, SMALL in the eyes of the world or STREET LEVEL – People are not impressed by me worldly wise.

But when I get on stage I am IMPOSING – almost as much as my God Self!

“On stage” has 2 meanings. On stage spiritually is when my GOD POWER is active & I RADIATE LIGHT or God’s Presence. That’s called having ‘Charisma.’  This word is misused or twisted in our society, Charisms are Powers of the Holy Spirit, & those who have it are ‘Charismatic’ – not those who are against God. Those NOT of God might have ‘magnetic’ attraction from the flesh, not Charisms.

On the earthly level - Indeed it is a truth that for dancers, male & female, you cannot determine their quality face to face – when you see them on stage you see their worth. I’ve noticed many an impressive person face to face on stage lays an egg. And conversely, some who are ordinary face to face knock your eyes out up there, from afar, high up on stage.} ***

 

Her act right now is way different for a change. She’s wearing a regular dress, to the knees or below, prim & proper, yet she is imposing. The dress is dark & SPECKLED with many colors. She has in front of her maybe 4 people who are underlings, like students or clients in need of help. {These represent the suiters, ‘followers’ or men who wanted my hand in marriage, who I talk about in my book – Dr. Atkins, M.B. Scott, Miklos Hargitay & the one I chose eventually, Richard Von Werder –  the one I take by the hand & go somewhere!}

 She’s SPEAKING, maybe TEACHING.  She goes to one of them, chooses him & they get into some kind of flying vehicle & take off! She’s too lenient at first & is going to let the male go full steam ahead, wherever it takes them, but I caution her to have limitations, & watch where they’re going.

Her act was more like a sermon – yet it was extremely interesting & worthwhile.

On stage she looks REALLY BIG, STRONG & IMPRESSIVE, not like that sort of pitiful person on street level.       

 

*** {TOTALLY DIFFERENT ACT, LIKE A SERMON, SPECKLED DRESS:  I sense this is my LIFE STORY. The SPECKLED DARK DRESS is like an EGG – eggs can be speckled.  The speckling is the various anecdotes, the darkness is there was much travail, sorrow & hardships. Speckles of all colors would be Graces from God as well as good times, consolations.  SHE, my flesh, is COVERED with this, as if SHE is the egg, her LIFE STORY is her entire body which when told, published & made into movies, COMES TO LIFE or is born.

“I Strip for God” is a title bestowed on me for speaking or preaching before I danced.

The 4 men, one of whom I choose & get into a vehicle & take off – I almost let him take me unlimited, but my Higher Self puts a stop to it.

This could be my final HUSBAND RICHARD, who I chose, where I had rejected 3 men before whom I talk about – all wealthy.  My God Self put ‘a limit’ on this. Not sure what this means but he died in 2002.} ***