Saturday, 31 August 2024
Friday, 30 August 2024
Thursday, 29 August 2024
Cougar Lifestyle Explained
Message will be in new book - My time as a cougar & it not being what you think - Great danger to spiritual life. But I snatched the victory from Satan beause I did it at the behest of God
The inside walls of this place are yellow. I know it’s open to the sky – so it isn’t
Purgatory, & it’s a long way down.
The person I’m with is short, small, a bit more than half my
size – gender unknown but I will say ‘he.’
What we see is a triumphal event of an enemy – the leader is
receiving some kind of symbol of his success.
Everyone is rejoicing & I see this person with a white band on his
right arm {these are all men, like an army} & a red swastika - Nazis.
Are
we safe here? Don’t feel so. The scene I described is a main person,
another ‘important’ character beside him & many men surrounding them, to
the left & right, on a lower level.
The
symbol of success this leader receives is like this:
There
is a ‘cap’ like the kind you slide down your head, knitted/stretchy. But this is neither knitted nor stretchy,
it’s a bright red plasticky or leather look alike with a “hem” around it a couple
inches, - neatly made. Attached to it is
like the hair of a person coming out a bit on the bottom, it’s gray but not the
gray of ‘salt & pepper’ or middle-age gray, just a dull gray. And from this hair comes a 3’ tight hair cord
like a tail, & on the end of it a tuft, about 6” long & it spreads out
about 6” wide. This reminds me of
something – the 1988 movie of Jean Claude Van Damme “Bloodsport.”
In
it Jean Claude is injured by a brutal fighter in an illegal action – he lands
in the hospital. But his friend gets
even for him & brings Jean Claude the
CAP {knitted, snug} of the enemy – he’s beaten him so getting his cap is the
symbol of victory.
Now
the scene has ended, but fallen quite a bit below {like 20’} is that
symbol! Why they left it behind &
how it’s there, like is it hovering in the air or on something, I don’t know –
just that it’s there.
My
friend is a cheeky little fellow & he declares,
“I’m
going to get that thing!”
I
fear for him, but he jumps out our window & sails to it & has it in his
hands, but how will he get back up?
This
is debated & after a while I see a ‘stump’ made of wood, 2 parts to it,
below our window left, also painted yellow but the paint worn down, & I
tell the little guy to jump onto that thing if he can reach it, then to our
window.
But
alas, he can’t reach it. Now I don’t
know how this happened, but I am then also out the window & there in the
middle of the courtyard, in the air, I find some sort of table {also painted
yellow worn down}, & this table is the KEY because we can climb onto it,
& from there, easily reach the window, & it’s such a relief –
happiness! We are safe & friend has
the symbol!
But…..an
odd thing happens. The hat & the
hair became separated, & the hat is gone as if someone with sharp teeth,
like a dog, gnawed the cap & hair thingy apart. We ponder this situation. I tell the friend they have to go together or
the meaning is lost.
Now
we are inside the buiding & little friend decides to take a walk. I’m not sure I want to explore – this place
seems dangerous. After all, it was the
headquarters of the Nazis & who knows what is here. There isn’t a semblance of real life
anywhere, nothing, all is empty, bleak, just nothingness.
We
arrive down the hall to a door. The door
seems mottled green & he says,
“I
wonder what’s behind that.”
I want to say,
“No,
don’t open the door, it might be dangerous,’
but
he opens it & there inside is nothing but huge blankets, big enough to
cover giants 10’ tall, they are all crumpled up, a gray-blue color & it’s
dim here. This was the flop house of the
Nazis, they for some reason at some time slept here, crude the way it is &
now they’re gone – in fact – the entire building is empty. {End}
MEANING:
*{ME: Wow, I will need help Mother God. I do have a vague idea this is about my being
a cougar & the book about it I’m planning to write because yesterday in our
meditation you said,
“This
book will be the CAPSTONE of your life!”
I
was amazed because it seemed like just a little slip of a book –a ‘burlesque’
or trivial picture book with humor – something to relieve the tiredness,
boredom & lack of motivation lately – just taking a break.
But
you used the term ‘capstone’ Mother God & I recalled pyramids having a
capstone, & I looked it up & discovered they put capstones onto the
tops of pyramids, sometimes covered in precious metal, & they were
considered sacred. One is housed in a
museum; the stone looks ike the granite of a tombstone.
I
know the pyramid itself represents my life, as in another dream you showed my
life story as the
The
pyramid contains not only the corpse but the relics, precious possessions &
mementoes of the King or Queen buried – it’s a tomb of great consequence
concerning their life.
There’s
also another strong meaning: To those in
higher education, they are asked to create a capstone of their work, a study or
project that encapsulates all they acquired – the knowledge, skills, experience
of their lives all demonstrated in one place.
I
had trouble seeing this book that way but my Inner God said that’s what it
would be.
And
so, the CAP with the hair, tail & tuft coming out of it, which the ENEMY
WON which my little mate now retrieves is the KEY to the meaning of the dream.
The
enemy I know is SATAN & his demons & he thought he’d won something when
I quit my celibacy, went into the world again, & had sex with a lot of
young men. Why? Because this world is a lower one, a place
where he reigns, as it’s filled with strife, meaningless sex, lust, jealousy
conflict, fights, aggression, frustration, egomania, – so many negative
feelings & thoughts. It’s a lower
word one where sin is easily committed.
So he thought he’d won as I had navigated there for eleven years! Satan’s henchmen congratulate him for his
seeming victory – we watch this.
But
who am I & who is the little person?
Is it you Mother God, the big one, & me, just a bit over half your
size? It seems so.
We
recently had a great meditation where Mother God explained something important:
She
said,
“You
keep saying ‘your Grace, it was all your Grace.
But it was both of us. My Grace
cannot work unless I have a body, a material realm - I suggest, you obey. When you obey, good things get done. The Grace of God has to have something of the
earth – a material realm – you are the material, I am the Grace, & we work
as a team. You cannot do it without me;
I cannot do it without you.”
I
add that the Almighty does not need us for anything, but to get something done
on earth, uses us to facilitate things.
In this way we are the soil, God plants the seed, it germinates, we have
life.
Now
the red plasticky/leather like hat & the hair attached can go either way –
a win for the devil or a win for me. It
seems that God is preparing a surprise where I snatch his so-called victory
from him.
What happened is I decided to do this book
“The Man Whisperer” – about my cougar days.
Mother God told me it was SHE who put the idea into my head! I thought I was being frivolous. I came upon some old files on
Mother
God: They KEY to the dream, as you said,
is the CAP which I told you the book will be the CAPSTONE of your career. Why?
Because it will encapsulate all you are, all you have done, into one
book, ending with the icing on the cake, when you went back into the life of
the flesh, the animal instinct, through obedience to ME, your God.
You
did not go back out of weakness, or lust, or breaking your vow of celibacy, you
went back out of obedience & you were loathe to do so, you did not relish
the thought, you feared it, you did not understand it but faithful as always to
God, you obeyed.
Only
now you are beginning to see why I made you do this – as St. Mary of Agreda
told you you had to make contacts with people which in the future they will
come to you from Purgatory & also they will pray to you to help them. You made not hundreds, but thousands of
contacts with souls this way which you will minister to later. That’s one aspect.
This
is the aspect of Jesus lowering himself to sup with tax collectors & street
people – He said,
“I
came to help the sinners, not the just.”
{ME: In
truth, the ones that accused him, the phony/hypocrites, were the worst sinners,
but they were incorrigible. Jesus went
to the sinners capable of repentance. He
said to the Pharisees ‘the prostitutes will go into Heaven before you.’} So if you want to save souls, you go to them.
And if you want to bed young males, go to them – BUT - & it’s a big but –
what was I actually there for & what was I doing? The ‘having fun,’ bedding guys, drinking, was
only the surface pretext to make connections, links, for spiritual/mystical
ministry! God once again {as so many
times} fooled me into doing something that I would not have done had not God
pushed me over the cliff by subterfuge……..End Me.}
And you could not appear as an outsider,
judging them as sinners with you pontificating righteousness, you had to be one
of them or they would not have let you into their hearts & minds.
ME: OK, the cap & hair, tail & tuft
symbol is crucial, the key. Let’s hear
about that, Mother God. How is this symbol & the BOOK the CAPSTONE of my l
MG: The bottom part of the symbol is your humanity
– the animal part. This is when you went
out to do God’s bidding & participated in the cougar life. But the top part, the red leather or plastic,
is your mind, brain, soul, which SUFFERED from this experience. Look at what Jesus went through in his 3 year
ministry in
This
suffering is the SACRED part, where you OBEYED God to do this, “Not my will,
Thy Will be done!”
Wankers
assume wrongly you were tired of celibacy & wanted a ‘night out’ where
‘Jesus gets the time off.’
Not
so at all – they are projecting. After
30 years of celibacy one finds PEACE & certainly DOES NOT want to enter
into the Purgatory of drinking, struggling for dates, jealousy, anger &
conflict that GO WITH THE TERRITORY & you KNEW IT but it was God’s Will, so
you did it. And that ‘final obedience’
is like Jesus accepting His final Cross, this was your final Cross, out of the
many Crosses you undertook.
Will it be misunderstood? Certainly, just like Stripping for God when
the media laughed at you, made sport of you, but you were entertaining. This
book will also be entertaining, half the people will not take it seriously but
as a lark – ho-ho-ho – but HALF will also see something in it that is a dreadful
message for their own lives – a lesson that the activities of the word are NOT
FUN but lead to suffering, it is guaranteed, unless one to some degree
separates from this world of conflict, they will suffer again & again. Peace exists in the life where conflict ends,
where one has found & surrendered to God’s Love. That is the message.
Your
little self – your body, your humanity, pictured here in an ambiguous way - but
is much smaller than I, the Mother God Within – goes down the hall & wants
to open this door which I dread. There
behind the door is yet another symbol of EMPTY LOVE or sex without love – the
nothingness of it, just like trash, it’s empty sheets or bankets & they are
gray/bue, which is sadness of the mid.
Yes, you did it – had so many encounters with young males – but what is
the result? - Nothingness.
This
entire realm of cougering, although it seems like fun to the outside senses
& laughable in so many ways – is actually the realm of Satan {not due to
age difference but because it is, as you lived it, only an expression of the
physical, nothing spiritual in it.}. He
is present where God is not addressed, where one takes their mind off God &
onto the world, the flesh, its activities & interests.
This entire building is his HEADQUARTERS or
was when you cavorted here. There is
nothing ALIVE here – no plants, no people {relationships} – nothing green {the
mottled green on the outside of that door is a hint of life, a promise that is
not fulfilled after the door is opened & you see what’s inside.} I DREADED
seeing this, being your God Self, but you were curious.
ME: Is there any particular meaning to the tail,
the tuft, the straight hair coming out of the cap? - And what about the hem of the cap?
MG:
the tail is of course being an animal – giving into that part of oneself, the
instinct to procreate. The tuft could be
how you grab the tail – what you’re talking about snagging young men – the tuft
would be an easy place to hold onto to snag the creature. And the straight hair coming out of the cap
is you’re talking straight about simple, biological truth & facts, which
you experienced. No fancy talk, no
mincing words, nothing flowery, just this is how you do it – I did it – this is
what you shouldn’t do – that I did wrong, etc.
And
the HEM of the cap could hearken to the hem of Jesus’ garment – just by
touching it this woman got healed, but just by contact with this human self,
this is all that comes out of it – goes with the territory.
ME: So far, so good. What about me, the little
guy, wanting so much to jump into that courtyard, where we don’t even see the
bottom, taking a chance to grab this symbol, with no way to come back except
where you intercede – me taking that risk but succeeding in getting the cap.
And why is all the inside of this place, everything – painted yellow?
MG:
You will now snatch the VICTORY from the hand of Satan – you took a chance
then, you are repeating the story of the risk.
You ‘left’ God {intimacy} for a reason, & how to get back to God? - Only with Her/My help. Satan wrongly thought you entered his domain,
he had the victory, but he did not & this book will reap the fruit or
rewards of your action.
I
show you a stump, one bigger, one smaller, close to our window, but you can’t
reach it. The stump reminds me of the
walking stick you have now from the woods – the end of it is like that. It represents your legs; one has a big hip
injury, the other hurt less. ‘You can’t
reach this’ is you got disabled from a fall downtown & I am not sure how
this relates except it wasn’t too long after that going downtown became an
ordeal, besides the Covid stuff, & you could no longer function too
well. It’s part of the reason you
stopped going. But how this relates to
getting back to OUR WNDOW rather than downtown is unclear.
Then
the TABLE by which I hoist you back to our spot: Could easily mean working at the table
writing this book, then publishing it, which will be the victory. Getting back
to me is your HOME GROUND / safe harbor, away from Satan & danger. So in explaining what you did, the God part
becomes visible, the flesh part without God has no significance – that part of
your life is cleared up, explained.
And
the symbol then breaking in your hands as if a dog bit in under the cap, with
sharp teeth – it doesn’t work as a VICTORY that way – your message cannot carry only the story of
the body , the flesh, but it must explain the suffering that this lifestyle
brings – the entire cougar time you spent, as well as any life which harbors a
lot of random sex activity or inspired such activity – like the adult trade –
this lifestyle is fraught with danger to the soul. This is what your spiritual message is here.
This is how you DEFEAT Satan rather than his winning.
All
the walls of the building painted yellow inside? ‘Painted’ is fake, it isn’t the yellow
sunshine, or a yellow rose, but it’s a façade, a veneer or covering. This lifestyle appears ‘happy,’ ‘cheerful’ or
‘fun’ to the outside eye, but inside it’s nothing. No life in random ‘fun’ – drinking, drugging
{not me, the others} & sex.
Why
a dog’s sharp teeth – or some other creatures teeth – chewing the symbol in
two, the cap one side, the rest another?
It’s one’s SENSE with sharp WISDOM {teeth are wisdom here, sharp senses
or wisdom} that one part of this lifestyle is suffering – it cannot be
entertained without it - & the territory is not a happy place to be,
whatever some may think.
And
last, you accuse me, God, of tricking you into doing this knowing the danger,
the pain, the suffering, etc. And I must
tell you that in the end, nothing bad happened – nothing permanent that is,
except your heart attacks in 2017 which were due anyway – they might have been
premature {lol.} I your God &
Guardian Angels, protected you from any serious harm of any type, & here
you are, alive & active as ever, older & wiser, with much to share with
the world.
Everyone
has to study to teach – even Jesus sojourn in
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Wednesday, 28 August 2024
Monday, 26 August 2024
Sunday, 25 August 2024
Saturday, 24 August 2024
Friday, 23 August 2024
Ramana Maharshi's Consciousness
Rid of Female—Ramana’s Gift
I take a good look at Ramana Maharshi’s
I’m with a couple people; one of them is a tall, thin
female. She’s addressing a person to my
right front, & suddenly, I kick her in the lower abdomen, she being thrown
back all the way to the wall nearby, exclaiming,
“I don’t like you any more!”
*{I cut off relations with a female that has abused, hurt
& annoyed me all my life & was still doing so. It was the last straw that broke the camel’s
back. And I finally, for the first time
in my life felt I’d had enough of her for forever & never want to
communicate with her again. She was
startled as she has never admitted her abuse of me & pretends to love me,
which is a LIE.
Who is she talking to to my right front? Could be a symbol of my God Self. Not sure about this, but she hounds me for
prayer & yet her requests are like seeking Santa Clause or Black Magic, she
sees God as someone to USE, not obey.}*
She is startled & we are on some kind of project, so I
say,
“I’ll stick this through {the quest we’re on} but after that,
no more.”
*{The quest could be the healing of her spouse which made
me give her permission to interrupt my sadhana—he had a serious problem. Although
I got rid of her I continue to pray for him daily….The other quest I am on is
to SEE GOD FACE TO FACE which all this relates to, it is my life.}*
So she, myself & another female go on with our
journey/quest & we walk through the city looking for a dwelling where we
temporarily stay – a place given us by a male, his own apt, while he’s away, we
can stay here for a while – is it a weekend?
*{I suspect the MALE to be Ramana Maharshi, who I studied
for hours yesterday again & prayed to him a long time. His DWELLING or apt
is a state of consciousness that I am receiving from him – ditto whoever is
with me. Who is the other lady? - Could
be a Guardian Angel. It’s significant
that
The lady I kicked – let’s call her
Her clothing is a slim beige knitted dress; she seems to be
‘holding herself in’ bodily, like arms glued to her ribs type look.
I am concerned how I look.
I have on some sort of bra that holds my breasts up & out & a
full skirt, & my hair has got loosed & something is holding it
together. Not a bad look, but not my
ideal but I keep going as there is no opportunity to fix myself.
*{How I look that I am concerned about is my state of
mind/heart/consciousness. I’m not
satisfied but it’s the best I could do for now so I just keep going. Hair loose, but held together at bottom is
THOUGHTS. Breasts held up & high is
LOVE. Loose skirt could be celibacy? }*
We get to this man’s apt, a break in our sojourn, a respite,
a welcome harbor.
*{We get to the CONSCIOUSNESS of Ramana Maharshi. – Where
he dwells, which he permits us to partake in for a while.}*
The first room is so neat & clean I’m amazed that a man
lives here. Not a thing out of
place. It’s kind of like the room you
use I suppose for cooking & dining & everything, but I can’t recall too
many details, except I touched one thing that looked like a place where you put
laundry, with decorative soft cloth on the top & bottom, I touched it &
got it somewhat awry & struggled to put it back neatly.
I don’t see the lady I kicked but the other one remains in
this front room – only the thought of
This room is also incredibly neat & clean. The first was about 28’ X 18’ & this is
much larger, maybe 40’ X 20’. And the
end of the room is facing the street, & it has a corner, where the solid
glass walls go around & there’s like 20’ to the front & another 15’ or
so to the side of complete glass. Here
we see a sidewalk – not a bustling business district but a quieter place but
not completely quiet, within the view are at least 20 people walking to &
fro, male & female, wearing all sorts of colors including soft red. And tall trees shading the walk plus grass
between the cement walk & the street for cars. As with the first room where I only assumed
it’s purpose as kitchen/dining but saw no implements or furniture like that,
this room also I only sense a grand piano but don’t actually see it, nor do I
see a bed, where I assume this would be a bedroom.
What amazes me is that in this day & age a place like
this would cost a FORTUNE – how he afforded this I don’t know & what is
most striking is the convenient location; neatness, cleanliness, order, &
although he is not IN the world he can see it walking by. How LUCKY we are to have this man’s
permission to settle here for some days.
I sense it might be
*{Without
a doubt, this is the state Ramana Maharshi was in after he got a large
clientele who believed in him. [He did nothing to gain them, they merely
gathered because they believed he was One with God]. He remained in his PRISTINE, calm,
God-Centered [he calls it Self] state, while the world & people swarmed or
lived around him, but he was SEPARATED from them by his [glass walls] or
INVISIBLE blocks. He was here, they were
there – he could see them but he was not in the street [in the world
consciousness-which is where we suffer-the red clothing-which Buddha & he
agree on] with them, his own world. The clean, neat state presented is the
God-centered state of NONDUALITY/ADVAITA where the world disappears, being DEAD
TO SELF- the self being EGO – ego/connection to the world & people: Being one of them, the Broad Highway to Hell,
the multiplicity of things, the minutiae of this life – dozens, hundreds & thousands
of connections to time & space [NO TIME & SPACE in the God-Self state]. When this is left behind, what is left is
peace, calm, pristine or clean heart that wants only God [desires cause
suffering Buddha said-desires of the world & flesh] & sees ony God –
God being one’s Source, the immutable Essence of Being, the Primordial Spirit
we come from & will return to.
People who die & come back speak of this, but it is possible to go
here while physically alive. Ramana – it
is important to note – went through a QUASI-DEATH EXPERIENCE at the age of
16. His Dad had died when he was 12, it
must have had a profound effect on his life as everything changed, he went to
live with an Uncle, other children went with other relatives. At 16 he suddenly harbored a terrible fear of
death & instead of running from it he accepted it, & went through the
imagination of dying, having rigor mortis set in & all that death
means. And in an instant there was a
switch, a change from this mortal consciousness to the Eternal & this
stayed him his entire life! Here you have a man who had an NDE without physical
death!
I
am delighted that he let me enter into his state & see it, understand it,
be in it. I have my own inner state – it
has been similar to his, & all of us have an Inner Life if we treasure it. It is called Self Realization. Ramana rightly said that when we remove the
layers of illusion re reality – that this world is REAL – we uncover the deeper
true reality, & that is Self Realization. That’s the goal I’ve been
following almost 2 months [been there, done that long ago-1981-82], am getting
closer & closer – distractions harm the way. Getting rid of
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