Nick Shows Me his Heaven – (2) God Speaks of a New Man on Earth for Me
‘
First I asked Mother God to go into more clarity re
the dreams yesterday – Why is Nick featured so important.
She explains. Mother God says:
Look
at all the characters in your book. This
portrayal of him is how he comes off in your story – as the most important
person, certainly man, in your life.
You
had two husbands before him. The first
you do go into detail on but he is a VILLLAIN.
The second is a real good guy but you hardly speak of him as there
wasn’t much DRAMA – you were not in love with him, so his synopsis is short –
maybe a page & a half {you might add to it later.}
Your
Mom is described at length, so is Rev. Judy Swaggart, so is Putz NutOn, your
brother, –– but to you these people are villains, not someone you focus on as
emotional fireworks, they are persecutors, they cannot be important to you as
people you want to hold in your head rent free.
Then there are many ‘affairs’ or those you wee involved with that were
murky, nasty & creepy – they fall back into the trash heap of your mind.
They are not important to have & to hold, to cherish.
In
Part 8 Nick appears – the only man you loved who loved you back in the romantic,
sexy & spiritual sense. It was the
full spectrum of love. He was psychotic
& he finally commits suicide, against all your warnings, opportunities,
promotions of him, & all the love you gave was not obeyed & now he is
dead.
And
what is way different about him is now you can SHARE HIM with people because
you have that time of photography where you took a thousand photos, photo
shopped many, - they are masterpieces of beauty & sex. The public can SEE who & what you fell in
love with & can grieve with you that the ‘Most Beautiful Man in
This
story is important, dramatic, makes good reading & will be good watching in
a movie. They can cast the most
handsome, exciting young man, paired with you at age 66 when you met. This is one in a million.
I
can’t think of one account in a movie that would feature a teenage male {19}
meeting a 66 year old sex symbol, they fall in love & relate for 11 years,
she breaks it up & he dies of a broken heart. Again, stories are worthy when they are
different – this is different.
What bothers you is that he is 78 pages so far out of maybe 1,400 so why in the dream, are you giving him half the value? It isn’t QUANTITY, its QUALITY!
He Appears in Heaven, Explaining it
He
shows me his Heavenly state – I feel it – I’m not there like I was twice,
seeing God face to face, I see & feel this in vision.
He says,
“I am
perfectly happy…That means I don’t want or need anything. On earth, we are driven by desires, needs,
chores, work, play, hobbies. Our minds
are always on problems, fears & needs.
We want
to GO PLACES because we think when we do, we’ll be happy there. For instance, an outing, go to a Park, a
club, a restaurant, visiting, sight seeing, etc.
But if one is PERFECTLY HAPPY
where one is then there is no NEED to go anywhere to be happy.
And my state is NOT BORING. It’s perfect fulfillment. If I WANT to go somewhere or appear in a
place I can do so. For instance, I want
to be on a sandy beach with the water in front of me, basking in the sun, palm
tress behind me, I can do that with my consciousness, just go there &
really physically feel the condition. We
don’t have bodies but the SENSE of our bodies through the INNER SENSES.
Or else, I want to be in the
shade in the lovely grass under a tree on a hill overlooking the hot
meadows. I go there, I can smell the natural
scents, see the wildflowers, the bees, butterflies, hear the chirping of the
birds – everything.
There is never any pressure or
fear or ego feelings of high or low, good or bad, wrong or right – everything
is PERFECT. There is perfect PEACE,
everything is good, there is no evil, ignorance, mistakes, doubts, fears,
anxieties or any negatives of any kind whatsoever.
I don’t years to go see
anybody as I am with you, perfectly happy with my Soul Mate who loves me in
perfect love. I am united with your soul
in Heaven.
Our souls are always in
Heaven, as you know – but you forgot. I
shall remind you. The entire time we are
on earth, our soul remains with God, seeing God ‘face to face.’
A veil descends over our
consciousness so that we don’t see this God or our own soul, which is one with
God.
You break through to your soul
through channeling & sometimes your soul even breaks through to you to warn
or advise you – but rarely. Most of the
time you pray & call upon your soul in eternity to help you – She is one
with God & answers you.
Now I am One with this soul of
yours – your soul & mine united in eternity, just exactly like you said it
was. I believed you & I wanted to be
here, so dying to me was a doorway. I
knew it would be a doorway out of my Purgatory on earth & into heavenly
Bliss with you & God. Yes, I have my
own Oneness with God but you helped me realize this state through arduous pains
& sufferings for 11 years.
My SECRET to you is this: For the most part – not 100%, but 90% of the
reason God sent you back into the world to quit your celibacy & ‘have fun’
was to pick me up & pull me out of my state. I was in misery, helpless & hopeless,
& you saved me.
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ME: But saving you did not prevent your death. -
An early death from a drug overdose. You
still see this as saving you?
NICK: It was nearly impossible to achieve the
perfection on earth that we both wanted – for me. This was the next best thing. It was plan B, the alternative, lol.
He continues:
“Here I have no hunger.
On earth you get hungry 3 times a day, have to eat. I am never hungry here, always satisfied.
Then, one is thirsty. I am never thirsty here, always quenched.
The worst thing was my need of
drugs, I was addicted. This is where
Satan came in. Satan laughed when he got
me addicted to drugs. I was a mild
addict when you met me, Ruth Anne got me pulled in lock, stock &
barrel. Not even God could save me, as
you said. Once a person takes drugs
every day for years, it’s all over. They
are as good as sold to the devil.
That is why right on my face
book I kept talking about selling one’s soul to the devil, then one has to
pay. I spoke about death a lot. I could see the writing on the wall. I knew it was coming as I couldn’t stop. It was a nightmare. And I knew I was losing you, first, when you
were never at the apt. I suffered. Then with the help of drugs I mollified
myself.
Then you contacted me. I called, you told me it was over unless I
quit the drugs & left Rush Anne & we could have a real relationship –
but I wasn’t capable. I knew my life was
over. Death was the only way OUT – out
of misery, into happiness, & here I am.
I have no sex drive but my
love drive is perfectly fulfilled. I am swimming in love, bathed in love, I am
love, giving & receiving it.
How do I look upon my
so-called friends of the past?
They are in the QUAGMIRE I was
in, still stuck, trapped there. They’re
on a low level.
They were not capable of
helping me as they can’t help themselves.
What percent of them are in
this state?
All of them except one or
two. Some of the women stuck with the
men are alright, but 99% of the men I was close to are hopeless. It isn’t only drugs – they are ignorant,
ignorant of what? - Of spiritual matters, God, metaphysics.
The fact that most of them are
earthly failures or mediocre in that respect is not the worst part. The worst is that they don’t relate to God
& they are on the broad Highway to Hell.
On earth we all thought it was
a joke, lol, hahaha. But as soon as our
bodies are gone, if we haven’t repented, we are trapped in the everlasting
limitation of Hell. Let’s not go there.
Do I miss them? Lol, not if you miss cancer. Cancer is a thing you hope you never get. In
order to see them or hear from them I have to enter their state. That is a bad Purgatory – I don’t want to be
there.
ME: One more question on that. If these losers had for any reason,
recommended me to you or encouraged you to go with me, obey me, would you have
done so?
NICK: Of course they were incapable of encouraging
me to do what’s right, but if a miracle occurred & say 3 of them kept
pushing me to you it might have helped.
But it was impossible for them to do the right thing as they were stuck
in their negative pattern, they could not see past their own needs. It was a
hopeless quest for you. They are hopeless & no one is there to save
them. Their own parents & even
grandparents are fucked up – like on drugs, criminals, assholes, abusers. Where do you begin helping such people? If they haven’t got parents to help them who
will? And how can they help ANYONE?
Do I communicate with anyone
else in Heaven? Let’s leave that for the
future you can’t pick up everything now, it would take some effort, just relax
on that score.
How do I relate to you?
With great sorrow for what I
had done. You tried to help me so hard,
almost killed yourself helping me. But
you could not get me out of the quicksand.
I almost pulled you in, but you got out, thank God.
I relate to you the same as
God. We exchange Love every minute,
every second, & we are in Bliss.
ME: What do you now think of the two books I
created on you, how hard I worked on the photography, putting the books
together, the money I spent, the time?
And how did you react? What is
your perspective now?
NICK: Wow, what an opportunity you gave me. You did not understand how stricken, how
sick, how psychotic I was. I was not capable of responding to your efforts, of
taking advantage of them. I couldn’t be
a star – I was lucky to get through Day 1, Day 2 & 3, just to be alive.
You are a trooper, a veteran,
I wasn’t. You had climbed every mountain, forged every stream, I was wallowing
in the muck. I would slip back to the
‘friends’ who reinforced me, said I was right to ‘party,’ like they were doing. We were the den of thieves, thieves of our
own souls, stealing time, stealing the grace of God that would keep us alive
without punishing us. But karma comes to
all, no one can escape. {End}
I’m
in this school & I DON’T want to be here.
Later I see
I
try to make a place for myself in one room that isn’t used much. I PLAN TO exercise here – just be LEFT ALONE
by the rest of the school & stretch & lift weights here. I move furniture, it’s a small space, maybe
6’X6’. In the end I do remove what is
there & end up with a BLUE PAINTED CEDAR POST like I have here. It’s about 40 lbs, I can handle it – it has a
sharpish point at the end to stake it into the ground for fences.
It’s
here so I’m carrying it out, & when I get to a dimly lit doorway {the whole
room is dimly lit}
I
say,
“Excuse
me”
as
we kind of bump into each other but we don’t say anything.
I
don’t expect any attention or attraction as my hair is cut short like I had in
my passport photo on arriving to the States & I’m wearing NO MAKEUP. I am plain as can be, who would want me?
Later
I see him in my room rummaging on a long table top for something – there are
things here that don’t belong to me, he’s going through them, maybe they are
bowls full of drink? They remind me of
my Holy Mass lights, but they are bowls with like wax like that wax inside my
candles, but yet, it’s some kind of food or drink, the food or wax is
grey. There are MANY & he’s taking
them for other people. My bed is here
also to the right, high up like in my guest room, & my light blue undies
are here.
I
say to
“Did
you want something of mine?”
He
seems neutral.
I
hold up my undies, then realize they’re dirty & want to hide them after,
but I say,
“I
thought maybe you wanted these”
He
laughs & says
“I’m
not a kid,”
meaning
he wants the REAL THING, not undies to masturbate by.
I
hide my undies under a cloth bag of laundry, lol, I am embarrassed by them.
There
was also a spot in that room I squeezed into & the music instructor
caught me, he was pissed. He’s fairly
young, like 35, has the kind of wavy hair from the 40’s like the young composer
in “the Red Shoes” where the hair is wavy from the roots down, this guy’s hair
falls like below his ears {Anton Walbrook, another star of this movie, had hair
even more like that – this was 1948} & this actor played a boyfriend of
Moirs Shearer who was consumed with JEALOUSY so he’s filled with ANXIETY that I
had done something with his music machine!
I somehow got into a TIGHT SPOT behind/inside this music machine & I
strain to squeeze out. I squeeze myself
out & make up a LIE to cover myself,
“I’m
looking for a GOLDEN RING my mother gave me.”
There
are wire connections here & he was real scared I had messed them up but
defiantly I tell him,
“Look,
they are all fine.”
The
machinery was all black. This room must
be the music room but not used much this man is somewhat nervous abut its
propriety & the machines in it, etc.
What am I doing there?
And
I see
***
(MUSIC MACHINE, ANXIOUS MUSIC PROFESSOR, I SQUEEZE INTO A SPOT, GETTING OUT,
LOOKING FOR A GOLDEN RING MY MOM GAVE ME!
It took me a while to get what this means so glad I didn’t post it until
next day.
The
anxious, jumping out of his skin music teacher who is concerned about what I’m
doing here with the black music machine is pretty funny. Maybe not to him. It is NICK who is AFRAID / JEALOUS that my
NEW ‘LOVE INTEREST’ will mess up OUR MUSIC – which means our joyful, mellow
relationship or ‘nectar’ of devotion.
{Your love is MUSIC to my ears.}
The music machine is BLACK because he’s dead, it’s not GREEN as such a
machine might be on earth. It’s
METAPHYSICS, that which is not understood – black – mysterious to those of the
earth.
This
ROOM is not used very much for classes because few people relate to the
spiritual, non physical world. That’s
why I was earlier trying to make SPACE for myself here – just me – wanting to
be LEFT ALONE by the rest of the ‘students’ {people}. I wanted to EMPTY MYSELF {remove all the
furniture} which means SPIRITUAL POVERTY or being UNATTACHED. So within this room I have MY OWN SPACE –
just me – but then later I see another area where this anxious music man
is. And he is especially worried re the
WIRE CONNECTIONS, that I had somehow messed them up.
These
wire connections are the ENERGY CONNECTIONS like ‘wired’ to communicate. Without these connections he & I cannot
speak to one another – this worries him terribly. {This explains why most people cannot
communicate metaphysically with those who have gone to the other side – be it
in Purgatory or Heaven or even Hell I suppose – they don’t have the connections
which are seen as WIRES….. but they are much more subtle than that in real
life.}
Now
I am HERE in his music machine & I am looking for something. In the dream I say it’s a LIE but it
isn’t. I am calming Nick down.
I’m
telling him that my interest – if any – in this new man has by no means
interfered with our relationship or connections.
Looking
for THE GOLDEN RING MY MOTHER GAVE ME is probably this:
The
Golden Ring is the TRUE LOVE of a man & woman & this was PROMISED ME by
God for years regarding Nick. I was SHORT
CHANGED because Nick took his life with a drug overdose.
I
was promised in no uncertain terms – plainly, absolutely, that Nick would be my
husband not only spiritually, but physically here on earth.
When
God makes a promise it is never reneged, nor is a Gift of God ever taken back.
This Gift was taken from me, but God gives ANOTHER PERSON to take his place on earth.
Below my apt & how I looked when dating Nick - we met there mostly
The
same thing happened with Clive. I
renounced Clive who I was in love with for a while. It was all wrong. But this renunciation opened the door to
Nick.
Then
Nick was taken from me physically, this opened the door to ‘Tom’.
I
DID NOT EXPECT THIS. I thought,
“I
guess my love life is over. God promised
me something that was not given. I just
have to suck it up & be content with other things.”
I
had GIVEN UP. I stopped wearing makeup
& beautiful clothes – dressed plain.
This man saw me twice with not one iota of makeup, plainest of house
clothes, & yet, he WAS INTERESTED in me at age 77! {He is middle aged, looks around 40.}
Nothing
has happened yet except an exchange of #’s.
He has not called.
But
this dream of
And
me seeking the RING my Mother gave me is seeking the physical, love on earth,
that She / God PROMISED ME
PS I channeled Marlene Dietrich & she said,
“God
is waiting for his decision, he has to say ‘yes’ but he has not yet done so –
he’s going back & forth – yes, no, yes no.”
And
Marilyn Monroe said,
“Yes,
God knows all, but I cannot tell you without her permission.”
It’s
a ‘wait & see’ situation, Marlene says just think about God & see what
happens. If this man says no there will
be another, as good or even better.
Trust in God, not men.”}
***
{OVERALL MEANING {what this describes, meaning wise, is what happened in REAL
LIFE}: This has to do with the repair
man who gave me his number {real life} He was here before & very kind. Gave me his # then – I thought at first it
was only for repairs, then later thinking, he might have given me it to get
together.
I
needed repairs again, 6 months later, & this guy shows up, {real life}
& this same man I met before also shows up as the first guy said,
“He
was in the area so he came to help,”
in
other words, he VOLUNTEERED, he was not the man assigned {I figure that – he
came not because of wanting to help but for seeing me. And he had his phone neatly written carefully
on a sticky note – last time it was BLUE – this time it was GREEN. Could be a symbol last time it didn’t work
out, this time it will, blue being sad, green being life.}
I
thought, could this be the man I met before?
I had a feeling. And I never took
a good look at him before, as I’ve given up here at home, trying to attract
anyone, looking plain as can be, no makeup, ugly clothes, etc. But when I did look, he is handsome, tall
& masculine. I could go for him.
And
yet, he liked me enough to give me his phone the first time, & also the
second time.
But
I wasn’t sure what it was about. I said
to him,
“Did
you want a date?”
And
he said,
“We
can talk”
which
sounded TENTATIVE like he wasn’t sure.
I
had also given him my number. I don’t
want to be chasing guys any more. I
looked at his # & thought should I call him or not? What does he want?
And
this dream tells me he wants the ‘REAL THING.’
Usually
when men speak of the ‘real thing’ they mean sex. But the bowls now will tell another story.
The
many small bowls on the long table in my room – but the table is not mine, not
all the things on it are mine. He is
taking some bowls I sense to feed people – mostly men.
These
BOWLS that remind you of the Mass & candle have to do with LOVE.
He
is TAKING some of this love – he needs TRUE LOVE – GOD’S LOVE & he is
RECEIVING IT FROM YOU, JESUS & MARY.
That is why you are saying like this is in your room, but it’s not
YOURS, it’s the BODY & BLOOD of JESUS & MARY! He wants this love.
He
wants THE REAL THING now the interpretation changes. This is a SYMBOL of something MORE THAN
SEX. This man wants real love! The idea bout the panties is just
physical. But the table & nourishment
there puts a new meaning to this entire dream.
If
this man wanted just sex, it doesn’t seem like it’s a great success. But if he wants to share TRUE LOVE then IT
IS. Could God have brought him to you?
Why
are my undies dirty?
This
again might be saying it’s not the lower form of love he wants – which just of
the earth or dirt – he wants something higher, more meaningful, & you
become aware of this & ashamed you assumed he was just like every other
guy, thinking only of sex.
Who
is the nervous wreck teacher who is all upset about my invading his music room
& I make up a story about losing the golden ring my Mom gave me? And why am I making a space to exercise in
this room & want to be left alone?
The
GOLDEN RING is a fortuitous symbol & it speaks of TRUE LOVE. In the context of the previous meaning of the
dream, this is getting to sound serious.
You
were set to be ALL ALONE, your 6X6’ space, do your own thing, just exercise
alone – no other students, no gathering of classes.
But
since this is a school there is something to learn here - & this
But
God might have other plans.
A
MUSIC ROOM is a place of joy & happiness.
Music is mostly joy, not sorrow or loneliness, & it is usually done
in company.
This one came out excellent as usual, very positive and auspicious dream overall. With great artwork and plenty of fuzzies of course.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes and keep up the great work,
Ajax