Dreams & Revelations about my present life &
ruminations about Lover – For years every dream about the Lover says it will
be, I want it, he wants it & God wants it
Above, Gustave Klimpt painting
I am in this cave, it’s dark, & I’ve been here for two
days with no food, no contact, no nothing, just darkness & looking for an
exit with all my might.
Then daylight comes & behind me is a simple opening,
where I see I have used this to enter the cave before – it’s a large opening,
smooth like a road curving left-out in & out, I can see greenery. It was there all the time, but I just didn’t
see it, I was turned the opposite way where it’s solid rock, so now I just walk
out, happily.
***
(IN A CAVE: This is some place I’m
trapped, can’t see my way out of but something happens that I do see my way the
Light God appears.
In this place I am impoverished. I don’t have anything empowering me, I am without resources or tools to relate to people with. People are not nourishing me or befriending me as you will see below.) ***
When I exit I go to some bars. I recall one, full of men, & I forgot to mention, something about being in that cave, I was deprived of everything. No purse, no keys to my house, no money – no nothing. I hold my hands out to the people I meet to show them. And in this bar I was hoping to meet someone who would like me & offer me some help. I tell my story again & again, showing my empty hands, & I am dressed in what you might call ‘rags’ but they aren’t exactly rags like a beggar, just the most ordinary clothes, like concealing clothes, not pretty, including some sort of brown/army green jacket.
As I
stand in the middle of a crowd there’s a lady in front of me with curly grey
hair, shorter than me & when I explain my poverty she says,
“Will
this help?”
And
she hands me what I think is two dollar bills, & I’m so pleased, I exclaim,
“You’re
the only one who helped”
Later
I look at the bills, & one of them is like $98. & the other a couple
more, so she’s given me $100 – wow.
*** (LADY GIVES ME $100 – Not sure who this is but it could be the man. Of the grocery store who has been more friendly to me since seeing my books. Friendship is nourishment, being kind to someone gives them positive energy it’s a form of love & love is spiritual / emotional nourishment.) ***
There’s
a man to my right, but he hasn’t offered to buy me a drink – none of the men
has offered me a drink, which I kind of wanted – food & drink – as I had no
money, not one penny.
There’s
a lady to my left at the bar - & I’m not sure if she’s the same one or a
different one, but I say to her that no guy has offered me a drink because I
have on no makeup & such concealing clothes, but I show her {& the man
to my right sees}
“If
they knew I had these breasts, they’d offer me a drink. If I was dressed I this”
& I show her a RED BUSTIER which I’m carrying on my person – inside my jacket {it seems small} - & I seem to repeat this twice, & the man to my right notices & gets interested. {It seems to me I’m purposefully concealing my body & breasts here.}
***
(my RED BUSTIER etc: Me to Mother
God: I don’t know what all this means,
it escapes me. I need your help to
understand.
MG: This is about your magnitude, your love,
which makes you a star. You were a star
on stage & screen & you are also a great loving human being, but the
people including the men, don’t see it, it is HIDDEN to them. You aren’t showing it to them. You’re not on stage; you appear as an
ordinary person, like everyone else.
But
when you bring in YOUR BOOK then they see you are a special soul in more ways
than one – a star on several levels, both in the world & in the spiritual
sense, as you’re the Stripper for God.
Now
something happens – I don’t know what – that I become a performer in this
bar. Next thing you know I’m transformed
into a part of a female singing / dancing group. We’re all wearing form-fitting suits of a
purplish color, we’re all made up & beautiful & we dance in unison very
well, it’s all done beautifully. Now
everyone who saw me sees me a star, they are impressed.
So I
was not that poor, raggedy, have nothing person, I was a star with great
ability, I performed, & they were all in awe.
There’s
something about our outfits, we’re thin, with beautiful shapes, so SLEEK.
Maybe
then I go back to my old self & put on ordinary garb – am not sure, this
part is vague, but everyone saw who I really was as a star, the way they had
not seen before.
***
(BECOME A STAR, PERFORMER, SING & DANCE:
When the people see your book, they see who you are as a star – totally
different than just going to the store buying things, like a new person.) ***
There’s
more. Now I try to leave this place
& go to an area of a city, but when I leave, I get lost on a road that
takes me away instead of into the city – a wilderness surrounds me &
there’s even big bulldozer crumbly ground that was pushed aside. Somehow this spooks me out, that I’d be so
far from what I’m seeking – civilization, I go back to where I was & ask
people which way is the road that leads to town – the shopping district. This gets pretty frustrating & difficult,
I struggle with this. Not sure how it
ends.
***
(ME to MOTHER GOD: Again, I don’t have a
clue what this means.
MG: You are trying to find your way in society,
with other people, where you stand, how you stand your relationship to
them. This has become difficult for you
as friends have died, family members have been ratchet. And so, this is a dilemma you’re facing.
The
cave is also how will you succeed in this world – this society, when you feel
so trapped? It seems that your
books will be the way out –
when people see who you are good things will happen. And also, when the books succeed & your
movie is out, for sure they will respond –this is your path out of the
‘wilderness’ & ‘being trapped.’) ***
Somehow I got into my heart condition & I’m in a
hospital being worked on.
There’s a doc here, he’s young, well built, serious. He has my heart in his hands & he takes
it & wraps it in multiple layers of aluminum foil, & strangely, I’m
thinking of helping him wrap it the same way.
I’m on my knees for some reason, walking on all fours to
get back to my bed – am not supposed to be out of bed, so I’m keeping a low
profile so he won’t see me. I seem to be
feeling ok & I have light freckles on my face. How I can exist without a heart I don’t know.
Then
I see a technician holding like a tub in her or his hands, & there were
things like tiny tadpoles swimming in it – they are small components of my
heart, what it’s made of. As she holds
this across some kind of partician she’s speaking with the doc & the doc
analyses this & the technician says,
“Oh, it’s a SLOW DEATH?’
Apparently the movement was slowing
down somehow, bit by bit, dying, & it represents the heart.
First
he’s seen as THE DOC & he holds your heart in his hands – he has / had
POWER OVER YOU.
He misused
this power by hurting you. To have
someone’s heart ‘in their hands’ is to control their emotions. The other meaning to you crawling, on hands
& knees, is you were ‘on bended knee or in the submissive posture as he
hurt you – you were chasing him, opening yourself for the hurt & he abused
you.
Then
in a while I see the person who is my lover standing holding something in his
hands, near this area, & he seems joyful or gleeful about something. It seems like he sees something good - Like
he’s going to be with me.
MEANING: Mother God, these last two days the dreams seem
to be more & more difficult to analyze.
Yes I was thinking about my heart condition last night, but this somehow
feels like it’s about emotions rather than physical.
MG: Yes this is emotions. The tadpoles in the tub are sperm, sperm
counts is what you’re asking the doc about, & he’s saying the lover’s sperm
count is down which is not physical, but an emotional sign of depression. He’s gotten deeply depressed over not
seeing you, the tadpoles / sperm show its somatic or affecting the body
– ‘psycho-somatic.’
He
is the doc & the lover. Why is he
wrapping your heart in many layers of aluminum foil? When a cook does that it’s to insulate the
meat, prevent it from burning, protecting it but allowing it to cook. This shows he’s concerned for your heart
& doesn’t want to hurt you any more.
This
indicates he’s become aware how much he hurt you – which before, he
wanted to hurt you – now he doesn’t as he’s become aware that you
left him due to the pain.
It
is his emotions & sex drive that are going dead. You’ve seen it in dreams concerning himself
& other females. He does sex to them
but it doesn’t mean anything – it doesn’t excite his deeper self. And so by hurting you he hurt himself
– you left him - & the result was he could not get the emotional /
physical high with other women that he had with you because he is not in
love with them.
So
wrapping your heart in multiple layers of protection is he wants to protect
your heart now, & you want to do the same – protect yourself - you don’t
want to be hurting any more.
You
are crouching as you walk along here as they are secrets being revealed to you,
for some reason you don’t want him to know you know his secrets & the other
meaning is explained above.
The
light freckles might be a jovial symbol saying ‘I’m just a good ole’ country
girl, naive, don’t know anything.’ Except
you do. You’re kind of smiling
here. And so, it isn’t about your heart
dying slowly, it isn’t bad news.
At the end the lover appears on this side of the ‘partician’ – whereas before he was the doc on the other side, - he had the power as ‘doc’, & he’s looking at something with glee. He’s seen something which gives him hope. Something says to him you’ll be together again, on this side, not parted like before.
2-12-22
The Feminist Group Convenes
I’m
in a store & a nice small lady is helping me purchase something. I’m in a
hurry as I think the store might close, but then I go off a way & see some
casual clothes I want, especially this pink sweatshirt that’s loose with
matching soft but skintight Bermuda shorts.
I am perusing this when that lady comes over slightly bewildered if I
still wanted that original item & I say I do.
Then
a door opens & I see inside a line of Asian females sitting there in a
woman-only meeting – The door opens only for seconds, but I want to know what’s
going on & if I can join.
My
question is are these women against whites, they being all Asians, or are they
against Patriarchy? If the latter, I
want to join in.
Somehow
I see myself inside this enclave & I wish I could recall more details but I
don’t.
One
woman is demonstrating how women should not be feminine, but rather act in a
more matter-of-fact way, being feminine is only for pleasing men.
I
raise my hand & say,
“but
we must understand that sometimes to survive, women must act this way to get
what they need from men in this society we mustn’t judge them for that.”
Not
sure what else happened.
However,
I did see that this was for all types women, I see a good number of white women
among the Asians.
MEANING: Asian people are always celestials in
my vocabulary – angels, saints, those on the other side.
This forms into a debate about
whether a woman should be feminine or matter-of-fact & I’m saying sometimes
we put on an act to get what we want, although in general being matter-of-fact
is the way to go.
So I am consulting with the
celestials – not sure why. This dream so
far remains a mystery. But if it’s about
the lover, it might bring closure to the fact that with him I was submissive or
at his mercy for a while, but now I won’t be – I’ll be matter of fact so one
thing led to another. Perhaps had
I been matter of fact right from the beginning the relationship would not have transpired.
The bears & Dad
We
are on a familiar woodland trail, up a long hill - Been here many times, now
with Dad & someone else. I see the
way back down this familiar hill.
We
go up the embankment on the left, it’s beautiful. Dad goes ahead of me. He goes too much away from me, I wanted to
warn him there are bears here & sure enough, there’s a bear right behind
him. I call out to him, he’s holding a
stick, the bear is but a few feet behind.
I was going to tell him to hide in the bushes, but then, the bear
doesn’t bother him.
As I
look down the sunlit valley I see 4 or 5 bears peacefully lounging about, maybe
eating something on the ground, maybe sedge or something, they are lit up with
soft sunlight in this valley. Dad was
lucky the bear did not attack him.
Oh
yes, in another scene I have peanut butter on my hand, on the padding of my
right hand. I held my hand out to a bear
that’s familiar to me, & it accidentally while taking the peanut butter,
bit that padding. I cried out &
pulled away, there was a bite wound.
But
the wound healed within like 5 minutes, completely. I show my friend the healed up small wound,
proudly. Some kind of phenomenon.
MEANING: This is about my marriage to the lover. It’s about the possible pain coming up,
represented by BEARS. The Dad always
represents the man giving you away to the husband - & you’ve been
waiting for YEARS for this event. Dad
going farther away from you indicates that date going farther away. You are warning ‘him’ or yourself that pain
may follow.
Being
on a hill is usually Golgotha – suffering - & then him going even higher on
the embankment is going into even more pain – the pain of delay as you
said he went farther away from you.
In
the end, nothing happens. Yes there was
a bite on your hand – the lover bit the hand that fed him but you are
completely healed.
And
there are no further attacks or pains transmitted.
This
dream & the one that follows next day both say don’t be afraid to be with
the lover again.
2-13-22
Help
Old Lady in White
I
went to a far away place & enter a tiny restaurant, which has but 4 or 5
tables. I see the servers behind the
counter & one of them is an older lady – say 65 – who has a man she loves
sitting here to the right of the counter.
This
man has given her untold grief & she asks me for advice, coming close to
me. Her eyelashes are like that of an
elephant, like 3” long & grey. Someone
tells me that,
***
(ELEPHANT EYELASHES: This references memories
of great pain. I was wondering if I
should take the lover back. I seek my
God Self for advice.) ***
“He’s
sat there at that counter for two hours & the entire time, argued with her”
***
(MAN AT COUNTER: His sitting there
arguing with this lady, annoying her, although he is her bf, shows his
desire for her. If he did not want
her he wouldn’t be here, arguing.
Arguing is CONFLICT. Yes he gave this
lady – who is ME – great conflict & right now I am torn as to do I want
him back or not? Is he worth it? Will he impair my vulnerable health? This is my flesh & the dreamer / adviser
is my God Self.) ***
He
seems to be wearing a ‘sporty’ hat like the ones they used to wear in the 20’s
– with the beanie on top, sort of flat & folded under. He is extremely distracting & I’m
wondering how she could attend to the other customers with him doing that.
***
(DISTRACTING: I’m wondering if bob will
distract me from my life’s work, helping others, especially Souls in Purgatory,
here depicted in the tiny restaurant, who I’m waiting on with the Holy Mass.)
***
As
she comes close to me for advice I say to her,
“Is
he WORTH THE PAIN? Or do you want to
break up with him?”
At
the words worth the pain, she brightened up & realized yes,
she loved him so much the pain was worth it, & that solved her
dilemma. She would not break up, she’d
keep him & that made her happy. Her
face lightened up, the tears stopped.
I
then had to leave. I thought I was in
the city, but I was not. As I exit
before me is a country path, downhill.
As I sail – I’m in the air – over the path, I pass a place that’s rock
walls on both sides, pretty but narrow, then I go on & on for miles &
pass through the most beautiful verdant landscapes, thickly forested & with
lovely green creeks & ponds, where water gathers & hundreds of
brilliantly plumed ducks float on the water.
They have peacock colors on their necks & part of their bodies, very
healthy & happy. I could not believe
how many little ponds & how many ducks I passed.
Below - Vogue featured MY ARM in 1981
***
(BEAUTIFUL LUSH SCENERY, LITTLE GREEN PONDS & MANY BRILLIANTLY PLUMED
DUCKS: This is the road to & from
the Lover bob. The fact that going home
I’m going downhill means I was uphill - & height is usually suffering. (
Ducks
are birds – they can fly. But they
aren’t flying, they’re basking, enjoying these beautiful tiny ponds,
many of them.
This
says you will settle down with bob – he won’t go anywhere, he’ll stay put &
you’ll both be happy. The colors of a
peacock bring to mind peacocks showing off their glories to the hens. He’ll feel like he’s won you by his beauty
& spectacular appeal & he will be content, & so will you be.) ***
Finally
I come to the end, there’s a metal railing here & then a familiar paved back
highway, which when I get on it & left, will take me home. All is well.
*** (FAMILIAR PAVED ROAD HOME: You have found the answer to your dilemma & you are at peace.) ***
This one came out excellent as usual, Rasa. Very positive and auspicious dreams overall, with great artwork and fuzzies galore. I will be sure to share it on FB.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes and keep up the great work,
Ajax
thanks for all the support Ajax the Great
ReplyDeleteYou're very welcome :)
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