By Ajax the Great (Pete Jackson)
(Originally posted on Pete's "Vive La Difference!" blog, formerly known as "The Chalice and the Flame)
NEW NAME FOR BLOG: VIVE LA DIFFERENCE!
Recently, I thought that the original blog name "The Chalice and the Flame" was getting a bit too stale and obscure to keep it any longer. Then I thought of the famous French phrase, "Vive la difference!", as a better alternative. Literally meaning "long live the difference" (that is, between Women and men), I feel it is a bit more to the point for this blog.
To avoid causing any technical difficulties, the legacy URL, http://thechaliceandtheflame.blogspot.com, will continue to be used for the time being.
Vive la femme! Vive la difference!
NOTE: This blog is NOT affiliated with either Riane Eisler (author of "The Chalice and the Blade") or the Unitarian Universalist Church (whose symbol is a flaming chalice).
PATRIARCHY HAS A KILL SWITCH, AND WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT IS (UPDATED AND RE-POSTED FOR 2024)
(Original version of this article from 2020 can be found here)
Author Yuri Zavorotny wrote a great article four years ago for Medium, in which he articulates something that we all intuitively know (but often don't want to say out loud) about the patriarchy and how to end it. After first establishing that patriarchy is inherently evil (and thus cannot be redeemed), he then goes on about what holds it all together. This thing that holds the entire construct all together is its sine qua non and thus is it's own Achilles' heel, and that thing is control of female sexuality, and the primary tool used to control that is slut-shaming. That is, the shaming of Women for expressing their sexuality in the way they choose. And thus the "kill switch" is to put an end to this utterly toxic and outmoded practice of slut-shaming.
Wait, what? There is still slut-shaming in 2024? Absolutely. It has diminished somewhat since the (largely male-defined) "sexual revolution" half a century ago, to be sure, but it is still there. The double standard still exists, and it has in fact become more of a double bind in which Women are expected to be "sexy" (as defined by males) but not sexual by their own definition. And ending it is thus the unfinished business of both feminism and the real sexual revolution for Women.
That's not the only double bind here, there is also the historical one in which Women are expected to both obey men as well as be the "gatekeepers" of sex, with no way to opt out of either contradictory requirement.
As Yuri Zavorotny himself says:
So here is our kill switch: we stop telling women when, where and with whom she is allowed to get involved romantically. Her body, her choice. And she is perfectly capable of making it a responsible choice, thank you very much.And lest anyone misunderstand his words, read too much into it, or try to put words in his mouth:
NOTE: This is not to suggest that anyone should change their own behavior. We do whatever we are comfortable with. That, of course, includes staying monogamous, still a perfectly valid choice. But it can not be justified as a moral choice anymore -- rather, it is a personal preference.Female sexuality (or more accurately, female-defined sexuality) is an extremely powerful force to be reckoned with, which is why the patriarchy has gone out of its way to suppress it (and/or supplant it with male-defined sexuality). As I have repeatedly noted before, the suppression of Women's sexuality was not entirely about maintaining control over the male bloodline (though that was originally a major part of it), but more generally about power and control over Women directly, as well as over other men indirectly via artificial scarcity. Ditto for patriarchy's equally peculiar prohibitions against self-pleasuring and homosexuality as well. Let that sink in for a moment.
In a similar vein, patriarchy's favorite brainchild, capitalism, needs scarcity (whether real or artificial) to function. That is how the oligarchs control the serfs. And the kill switch of capitalism is thus to give it the one thing it cannot surivive--abundance. The analogy should be apparent now.
Ending slut-shaming will not end patriarchy overnight, of course, but is nonetheless necessary for it to end sooner rather than later. And if we wait until we return to full-blown Matriarchy before liberating Women's sexuality, we will never be ready, as Women's sexual liberation is a key step on the path to Matriarchy. That is, if we make the perfect the enemy of the good, we ultimately end up with neither.
One thing needs to be crystal clear. As hard as we fight for the right to say "yes" to sex, we must also fight at least twice as hard for the right to say "NO" as well. The LAST thing we want is for sex of any kind to be perceived as mandatory in any way, so enthusiastic and mutual consent must be a precondition for all sexual acts, period. And that is true for both Women and men, by the way. Also, we must be careful not to fall in the trap of the "reverse double standard" that has become in vogue in some circles these days (Oprah and Dr. Phil, I'm looking at YOU!), in which men are the ones vilified for their sexuality while Women are ignored (if not celebrated) for doing the same exact things. Doing so is a sure path to a sort of "reverse patriarchy", not the Matriarchy proper that we should be aiming for. The same goes for a "reverse double bind" as well, which is also infantilizing to Women.
Put simply: Women should have the absolute right to be as sexual--or not--as they themselves want to be, without the need for justification or apology to anyone, period. To quote the legendary Guru Rasa Von Werder:
My associate Ajax the Great & I agree, sexual freedom is the KILL SWITCH FOR PATRIARCHY. When Women do whatever they want sexually, & no longer fear men, men will have nothing to fight for. Consider a ram with his harem. The harem runs off & mates with the other guys in the woods. No more head banging, lol. We will end war by being sexually free."
Liberty (sexual or otherwise) is NOT a zero-sum game. In fact, liberty is like love: the more you give, the more you get.
So what are we waiting for? Kill Switch Engage! Let the planetary healing begin!One perennial theme that seems to run through some circles of the Goddess Movement and Matriarchy Movement is the idea that Women made a sort of Faustian bargain during the Second Wave of Feminism in the 1960s and 1970s. That deal, as the narrative goes, consisted of essentially "assimilating" into patriarchy by becoming more like men (i.e. less feminine and more masculine) or at least aspiring to the privileges once reserved for men. And that is supposedly a very, very Bad Thing, as it supposedly represents the ultimate triumph of men over Women, and thus the ultimate triumph of the patriarchy. The term "Female Erasure" is sometimes used to describe it as well, though the connotation varies.
Gender essentialism aside, this narrative indeed has all of the makings of a good story, except that it isn't really true. What is sometimes called the "Eclipse" of the 1960s (or 1970s or 1980s, depending on one's perspective) does superficially seem to fit this narrative. Instead of the patriarchy chewing Women up and spitting them out as in the pre-1960s world, this time Women appear to have been swallowed whole. But what better way to finally destroy the patriarchy than from within? In the belly of the beast, Women have been gaining almost unprecedented power, and soon they will be able to burst through and finally lay waste to that evil system once and for all, and replace it with their own, Goddess willing.After all, sometimes darkness can show you the Light. And besides, the apparently increasing aggression of Women actually began with suffragette and First Wave Feminist icon Emmeline Pankhurst, half a century before the 1960s even began. Even Nikola Tesla remarked upon it in a 1924 interview, also predicting (quite accurately, it now seems) that Women would eventually take over the world.
So it appears that this so-called Faustian bargain was really not one at all. And those purists and "retreatists", as I like to call them, who claim it is and want to somehow reverse it can easily find themselves to be inadvertent strange bedfellows with the reactionary Phyllis Schlaflys and other anti-feminist counterrevolutionaries of the world. Unless, of course, that was really their intention all along.
And rest assured, try as treacherous men may, the true Divine Feminine can never, ever be truly erased or extinguished, as to do so would literally impossible. And once Women reclaim their rightful place as the new leaders of the free world, then we will really know that for certain, Goddess willing.
I have discussed before how that favorite evil brainchild of patriarchy, capitalism, is literally killing our Mother Earth as we speak, and is thus both ecocidal and ultimately suicidal since humanity is in fact part of Nature (despite frequent and stubborn protestations to the contrary). And that the only way to humanely euthanize that vile system is to give it the one thing it cannot survive--ABUNDANCE--while harsh austerity measures of any kind (ecological or otherwise) will ultimately backfire in the end, leaving us permanently stuck in a very bad place while still ending up destroying ourselves along with our planet. (That is, like futurist Walter Baltzley said, the best way to win a tug-of-war against a stronger opponent is to simply let go of the rope and let them fall down.) But did you know that capitalism also has a sexual dimension as well?
- While financial rentier capitalism uses artificial scarcity of money, goods and services, etc. to control the masses, sexual capitalism uses artificial scarcity of sex (and sex substitutes) to do the same.
- Sexual capitalism, which is part and parcel of patriarchy, uses the "commodity model" of sexuality to make sex just artificially scarce enough for the conditions of the times to effect maximum control of the masses.
- In the commodity model of sexuality, sex (however defined) is seen as something of value (perhaps even a sort of "currency" at times) that men "take" from Women, but not the other way around, and is seen as a zero-sum game. A Woman's worth is thus considered inversely proportional to her level of sexual experience, while the reverse is usually (though not always) true for men (i.e. the classic double standard, slut-shaming, etc.).
- Therefore, men have a vested interest to keep the "cost" of sex as low as possible, while Women have a vested interest in keeping the "cost" of sex as high as possible. One can see how this does not exactly make for harmonious gender relations or mutuality, since the interests of Women and men are inherently opposed in this model.
- At the same time, the (mostly) male elites have a vested interest to keep the "cost" of sex as high as possible, or at least just high enough to control the masses. This is typically done by punishing Women in one way or another for having too much and/or the wrong kind of sex (i.e. "giving it away" for free or cheap), imposing a very high cost on Women who then pass some of that cost onto men. Or demanding for specious and spurious reasons that sex be only for procreation and claiming that sexual pleasure especially for its own sake is somehow "sinful". Thus, they control Women in order to indirectly control men, while (in the days before modern birth control and DNA testing) also ensuring paternity certainty as well.
- That explains the patriarchy's arcane and archaic rules against not only "fornication" and adultery (note how usually only Women have historically been punished for these in practice), but also masturbation, homosexuality, non-monogamy, non-coital sexual activities, abortion, "artificial" birth control, divorce (albeit with some nuance), pornography (albeit with some nuance), and most ironically of all, prostitution (despite the fact that patriarchal marriage is often little more than long-term prostitution in practice). It also explains why so many self-proclaimed "pro-lifers" have the GALL to oppose birth control despite the fact that it actually has the net effect of reducing the number of abortions due to fewer unwanted pregnancies.
- A high cost of sex (and its substitutes), ceteris paribus, leads to higher birthrates (Women are the brood mares in this system) and more work done by men (men are the work horses) in order to gain access to sex, which ultimately makes the rich richer going. A low cost of sex (or its substitutes), especially sex for pleasure, leads to lower birthrates and theoretically less incentive for the serfs to work harder to make the rich richer.
- Thus, a relatively high cost of sex is seen as necessary for the oligarchs to keep the whole Ponzi scheme of growth for the sake of growth (i.e. the ideology of the cancer cell, which eventually kills its host) going to make them even richer.
- And the experience of physical pleasure, affection, and intimacy in general (not just sex, but overall) are restricted to one degree or another, so much so that people end up craving it even more through a narrow little keyhole called sex, particularly coitus.
- Not that such sexual strictures really make The System any more virtuous in any sense, of course. A certain amount of male-defined prostitution, sex trafficking/slavery, rape, and even full-blown pedophilia and incest is virtually always tolerated or even tacitly encouraged (clandestinely or otherwise) to one degree or another in patriarchy provided it does not threaten The System or inadvertently give Women too much power. And these ills tend to explode when sex in general is highly restricted and costly (see what happened in the Victorian era, for example). It's all just "collateral damage" in the eyes of the patriarchy and the oligarchy, basically.
- And of course, Women primarily get blamed for "getting themselves raped", rather than the men who rape them, since under the commodity model, the onus falls on Women to be "gatekeepers" of the "commodity" in question and keep it it from becoming "too cheap" in the "marketplace". And the resulting fear of rape (and blame/shame for it) is used as a cudgel to keep Women "in their place".
- And much like in Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale, patriarchy relies on Women to police each other (enter slut-shaming, body-shaming, the "mommy wars", etc.), further enhancing the divide-and-conquer aspect of The System.
- And just like financial capitalism, sexual capitalism functionally sets itself up as a contest to see who cares the least, in more ways than one. A contest that MEN, not coincidentally, nearly always win.
(Note that I while I condemn the commodity model, I do NOT intend to disparage any actual sex workers of any kind. They are, after all, some of the most honest people on Earth when it comes to their intentions, and in any case are not the real problem here. It is the "little man behind the curtain"--the system of patriarchy and capitalism--that is the real problem.)
This inherently capitalistic and patriarchal model should be regarded as obsolete and outmoded, and replaced yesterday with the "performance model" or "mutual pleasure model" of sexuality. And thus sexual capitalism will also be humanely euthanized by giving it the one thing it cannot survive--ABUNDANCE. So what are we waiting for?
Yes monogamy cannot be any longer considered a MORAL choice - the only moral choice for women - not for men. It's ridiculous. Men finally got whacked for their 'sins' against this morality whether it's a sin or not - THEY made the rules, the rules finally started to apply to them. I shall study this when time permits & give a more thorough response. Rasa
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rasa
DeleteAnd thus those outmoded and pharisaical "moral" rules shall fall away like so much garbage, God willing.
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