Diary re Promotion

 

12-15-24 Arnold DIES-I struggle to message him-but later I’m taken 4 a photo shoot 

These dreams are re the beginning o the promotion of my book 'The Man Whisperer'

Note: My dreams of ARNOLD have NOTHING to do with a man of that name – It is a SYMBOL of success 

          I’m walking with two persons, one on my right, one on my left. The left one says,

          “Well – there it is. Arnold has died.”

          *{ARNOLD is the NEW YORK TIMES which I sent the PDF of my book to yesterday, lol. Means ‘they’ have rejected it – but it’ll be one puny clown who did so – see MEANING}*

          I am stunned.

I exclaim,

“Wow, I KNEW it would be like this! Franco has died, I knew he was supposed to be first, & I also knew that Arnold would die BEFORE ME because Franco said he {Arnold} would come to me for help - & then I will die.”

*{Who does Franco represent? The best friend of success. In real life he came to me for help, I helped, he Ascended. And so I helped the right hand of success, & success WILL COME TO ME for help he said! That would mean that success will come to me when I do what I have to do to get it – when I HELP success. ‘God helps those who help themselves.’}*

My companions are sort of surprised I know all this.

And I suddenly feel great regret, that while living, I thought I despised Arnold but now I see I loved him, & I must somehow get this message to him!

*{This would have to be re loving ‘earthly success’ which I have renounced as a Woman of God, but this says I LOVE SUCCESS, lol – [you have to decide which success is of God, which is of Satan! There IS a big difference!]

‘I must get this message to him’ is me struggling to get my book out to anyone BIG in the media! - Which I started yesterday in force. So I am struggling for success – I love it, am pursuing it, want to get the message of my book out there!}*

          A series of scenes follows where I struggle to find a way to message him. I find a man who I think is Joe Weider, sitting in my stainless steel sink {lol} & I speak to him & he does not respond. I get the feeling of the ‘other side,’ – maybe he’s in Heaven? So I say,

“Oh, you’re Ben,”

{Ben Weider died 10-17-08 so that’s 16 years – it would be a long stint in Purgatory, shows he’s Ascended. But is this about the real man or what is he a symbol of? Since Arnold is a symbol – not a real man – Ben must also be. This MAN IN HEAVEN must be the NEW YORK TIMES which I cannot, have not actually REACHED – it of itself remains INACCESSIBLE! The STAINLESS steel sink describes HEAVEN as that’s where souls go when they are free of the stains of sin. Indeed, this is Valhalla or Safe Harbor or the Pot of Gold at the end of the Rainbow, lol. But what DO I reach? You’ll see in a moment I get JOE WEIDER & he is a symbol of PURGATORY.  Joe Weider is the punk I reach - he's in a Purgatorial state, not the 'Safe Harbor' or 'Heaven' of Ben who does NOT EVEN SEE my ms. I reach this sallow, narrowheaded creep in a purgatorial state who puts my ms into a Purgatorial state, lol}

That’s the brother of Joe – he can’t help & does not respond so then I move away & to the right is Joe - where he’s sitting not in the sink, just normal place, his back against some kind of partition in what seems to be the kitchen. His skin is yellowy, his face is somehow narrow, & I speak to him & know he can get the message to Arnold,

“Tell him I love him.”

He doesn’t show emotion but I sense he CAN reach Arnold.

There’s great REGRET here for not knowing I loved Arnold & not expressing my love for him. Oh yes, I tell Joe,

“He will die soon, & then I’ll die.”

*{Arnold dies’ is my fame/success as far as world renown has gone to hibernation – I want to bring it back to life. God’s been saying to me for months ‘this will put you back on the map.’}* 

There’s another scene parallel to this, & it’s emotional – I am hurt & disappointed.

There’s a guy who’s supposed to be my friend, & he moves in with me for a weekend. Later I see he’s a young guy, short, - see him in the corner of my extended ‘room’ {seems like a very large motel room I got for the weekend} & reminds me of a college student, as he’s wearing a cotton white with light vertical stripes shirt. From this corner after one day together I see he has reneged on his promise to be together & he comes out of his corner, & he is upset about something but what? Is it because I didn’t have sex with him & he expected it?

*{This portrays one little guy who got the assignment to read, maybe review my book. But he’s UPSET by the book! It’s God’s Will apparently that he cooperate with it – help it – but he goes against what God wants – that’s why later I have the right to say to him he will be punished by God. This shows him small, short, like the college boy described. He might be physically that way or metaphysically that way. He might be short {unimportant, ‘small fry’ or physically short} & hurt that I ‘didn’t have sex with him’ – he believes that I would not want to be intimate with him because as a man, he hasn’t got what it takes. Look at the models in my book hotties with huge dicks - few men could measure up to this! So they know they’d be rejected & they react as if it happened.

The ‘weekend’ & motel room & all that is this man is working the weekend, & begins to spend it with me {my book} & wants OUT.}* 

I see him cross the room, go to the side of it on the right to a phone & he calls a buddy of his & now he turns from a man, sort of, into a woman – such as I have met before – Armena who betrayed me. {When he does what he does I tell him I’m HURT}

He cries to this man like he’s in dire straits,

“Get me out of here!”

 {Armena was a model, she betrayed me when she met some swingers, conned me out of money, called a swinger & took off with my money. She walked down the road for the man to pick her up – typical female action – get a guy to bail you out of whatever or help you when you’re in a tough spot or even commit a crime.}

So I think,

“Oh here he is, doing that typical female stunt to get out of the weekend with me.”

*{This NY TIMES reviewer, paid to either review or do something preliminary, like to see if a book is WORTHY of review – has betrayed me & the Will of God. He is EMOTIONALLY hurt by the book – & he reaches out to the powers that be – maybe his boss - & begs out of reviewing the book! Maybe he makes up some shit like the book is UNWORTHY. The ‘savior’ lets him off the hook.}*

I then follow him in vision ‘down the street’ where he’s leaving me. He has on my old brown coat that I gave away to Good Will long ago, a simple, plain brown coat, like thin wool, that just drapes around you, no closures.

As he walks down the street away from me his hair is long, beautiful, wavy below the shoulders soft, medium light brown.

It’s a dim street – he’s walking to meet someone – the one he called.

I follow him & I say,

“God will punish you for this.”

And I repeat it several times to make sure he knows, & I sense he believes me but doesn’t care.

*{This is how he ‘turns into a woman,’ or takes on the persona of ‘damsel in distress,’ – ‘oh poor little me, I need a big man like you to get me out of this – my hero.’

The COAT – BROWN is suffering, & he was suffering {insecure, humiliated little punk} by what the book represents! But he’s very PLEASED with himself & his thoughts {HAIR is thoughts, consciousness – Like so: [I am such a clever fellow, I got out of reviewing this book, I am favored, I am validated.]Having his BACK to me is REJECTION- walking AWAY is the same.

And why would I declare God will punish him? Because in future, subsequent events might go against him – like when the book gets famous & it goes back to why didn’t he review it? They might fire him from the job or demote him to janitor, lol.}*

And the last scene is I walk back from him up the street from where I started. It’s a bit spooky & I see to the right of me a short man with thick glasses, not sure who he is – seems harmless. There could be dangerous characters here as it’s night, I’m all alone, a woman, & I rush to get out of here, the stores are on my left, not sure what’s on my right – seems open.

And then what seems like a demon latches onto my ass, like my ass is naked. I do exorcism,

“Be gone Satan, in the name of Jesus,”

over & over a while & the dream ends.

*{Short man with thick glasses is the same guy. Short could be he really is & has a short man complex, or else, he’s low status. The thick glasses symbolize one who reads a lot – it makes you nearsighted – I should know.

And the very front of my book I say ‘If you don’t like this book you can kiss my ass’ with a picture like so me bending forward - & in KISSING or grabbing onto my ass he’s saying he doesn’t like it – lol.}* 

Parallel dream

At the same time this is happening:

I see some sort of metal canister going ‘round & ‘round – a light grayish/blue canister, & it’s automatic somehow, just rotating, like a long not real thick, DRUM about 2’ in diameter. & words being spoken,

“You’re name will be in lights.”

And other similar chants being repeated over & over so I am not at all stymied by the rejection of this little guy that just passed – I see the future.

*{This part shows the FUTURE – the BIG PICTURE, whereas the hurtful part of this dream shows the tiny picture of a little, unimportant guy who gets the manuscript you sent into his hands. Apparently he is ASSIGNED to read ms’s – they get HUNDREDS –I read somewhere a place like this gets 75 ms’s a DAY! And so previously this little guy gets my ms & he gets out of reviewing it for the TIMES. He gets ‘bailed out’ by someone. But this here shows that out of all this – my name will be in Lights. And see the CANISTER is the key.

The canister is where FILM is kept – this portends the movie of your life. This book will lead to that & this one little guy rejecting it is irrelevant

‘Your name in lights’ refers to the movie’s name being in lights.}* 

Next dream

Then there’s a big to-do re my being

taken by important people for a PHOTO SHOOT.

The thing is I have a perfect body I guess & I used to when I was young & somehow I’m young again!

There’s a TEAM of persons, mostly female, taking me to a location - I must gather my costumes. I do so & also look for jewelry – yes, I have all that I need, it seems it’s all neatly stacked here in bags. I see light green& I know where my jewelry is & I’ll look beautiful.

Then out of my stuff I take out a tiny teeny little bikini bra – dark bright green - it’s the size for a doll not a human.  I throw it to those ladies & say,

“If you know anyone with tiny teeny boobs, gives this to them,”

And I’m laughing.

This job is IMPORTANT not sure why but it is & I’m happy as I was chosen.

*{This no doubt is that someone else – not the NY TIMES – will choose me to do a review or interview. It seems woman oriented, so it could be Oprah – her magazine.

Getting organized, costumes & jewelry is simply me getting ready spiritually more so than merely physically. The JEWELRY is the GIFTS OF GOD awarded me, supernatural. It’s a happy feeling.

What is the teeny weenie bra fit for a doll I throw over there & say to give it to someone?

Probably ME when I was real young – age 20 in Hollywood – there are lots of pictures of me in the book both young & old.

This is not so much the physical but how I have GROWN IN LOVE – breasts representing Love. And I guess it’s because of that Love that God is rewarding me.}*

 

   DIARY:           My DREAMS told me what occurred. A little punk from the NY Times REFUSED to review my book & persuaded his boss to let him out of it - I'll post the dream on the blog.

 

    HOWEVER, the next dream tells me this is the little picture, but the BIG PICTURE is there will be a MOVIE made - 'Your name will be in lights' it says.

 

    And the dream after that says a woman-oriented place will choose me - could be Oprah's Magazine.

 

    This TIMES business is just the beginning. I knew a SHARK book-manuscript org. that accepted everyone's ms FOR A FEE & didn't even TRY to help them - this was long ago - & they took me for $200 to read it which in today's money would be $694 {this was 1981 re my life story} 

    I went to visit them in their swank offices, the big shot owner saw him in the hall - had a pic of him looking formidable but he was just a 5'4" little old punk {he used his representation of NORMAN MAILER, getting him a 2 million $ deal, as the hook to pull the other fish in}. Inside he had about 5 women sending rejection letters off pre-written material, just typing away a mile a minute - all the people that sent him money & their ms's weren't good enough.

    It was a bullshit, con artist system for the sole purpose of robbing would-be authors of money. Yes, there are a MILLION people who want to be published & it's very hard to get companies to accept their work - but there are sharks waiting in the wings to grab your money pretending they'll help.

    This is how I found out the score.

    When I EXITED the office & went to the subway met the YOUNG MAN who actually READ my work!  He was about 22-23. Obviously no expert on literary value!  I took him to lunch & he told me he SKIMS through the books - doesn't read every word of course - it's hundreds of pages. And then I assume he makes notes of what pre-written rejection material they could use.

    Now I see this NY TIMES as being LIKE THAT. There's no way a really professional, literary expert would read anything until it's first gleaned over by a 'little person' who doesn't know much but will do the tedious work of going through this 75 ms's they get a day - & this little person says it's good to review or it's a piece of trash. Then the IMPORTANT EXPERT takes a look only at the ones recommended & if he/she agrees it's reviewed.

    Based on this assumption, I see the NY TIMES has not rejected my work - only the bench warming little punk who was offended.

    And so, I'll send them the ms EVERY MONTH hoping a different 'little person' will get the ms, & I'll do this every month until it hits someone who likes it & passes it on to the 'BIG GUY.'

 

    I will also check out the L.A. TIMES {I've been in it, big article, picture, in 1978 re my preaching in front of the White House  & that's when an agent called me re the movie of my life - which did not happen as it was not the right TIME!} - See if they have a book review dept.

    I will also seek international venues for book reviews - big newspapers, magazines etc.

    And then of course there's the THOUSANDS OF BLOGS I'm not exactly sure how I will access but I will just start looking & every day will find new ones.  And some will not be for this book, but previous books. Like the NDE people - I can send them material re my seeing God Face to Face, which is an authentic NDE experience.

 

    There's also the body building stuff for the thousands of bb blogs out there, as well as websites!  Then there's RADIO - all kinds of venues. 

    This is an adventure.