Monday 23 March 2020

DREAM AGAIN EXPLAINS RELATIONSHIP WITH LOVER & MYSELF, THAT HIS PRESENT SITUATION WILL END & HE WILL BE WITH ME.


3-22-20-AUNT & UNCLE-CONTESTS

          Its many scenes, unusual.  I’m with my aunt & uncle & my uncle wants to single me out.  I am young – just a girl – they are both much older.

          *(AUNT & UNCLE MEANS PUNISHMENT IN MY VOCABULARY. 
          ME BEING JUST A GIRL COULD BE INEXPERIENCED OR INNOCENT, THE CHILD WITHIN ME,--A PERSONALITY.)*

 
          First, I’m naked in a beauty contest I won – Ms Nude Universe.  My body is perfect.  Uncle is attracted to me but he cannot, must not let the world or his wife know.  He moves in on me stealthily so you can’t even tell he’s physically attracted to me or wants to have sex with me.

         *(MY UNCLE:  Is the lover/husband who was so cruel to me.  This explains he didn’t want the world or his live-in to know he loved me, wanted me.

          MS NUDE UNIVERSE, PERFECT BODY:  My spiritual perfection.  I am completely open (naked) to God & him, this hovering of his ‘in the air’ holding me sounds like POSSESSION.  He possessed me in the name of sexual desire, his & mine—while all the while trying to hide his desire from the public & his roommate.)*

 
          I’m standing on some sort of ledge, naked, & he comes over & embraces me, not straight-on body to body but he’s halfway in the air & holds my body somehow.

          Then we move to another spot where again he holds me somehow.  He’s tall, has black curly hair.  He’s real handsome & I’m attracted to him – I think – should I give in to my uncle for sex?  It’s forbidden but tempting.  He wants to but refuses to be open about it.

          *(UNCLE MOVES:  His continual moves as Uncle is he was hurting me again & again, possessing me with desires & temptations, all the while hiding his own desires to keep himself ‘safe’ from criticism or censure.

 
FORBIDDEN:  I was not supposed to have sex with him until he gave me a real relationship.  He gave a different girl the relationship but wanted to continue having sex with me, & I could not resist.  I broke my own rule.)*

          The last spot we were in, he took me to a room at the old farmhouse which means ‘separation.’  There was a strange devise, a folder or thin paperback booklet, no title, no cover, just pages with a pinkish top, & it’s lying there on top of something else, & it’s big enough for me to squeeze in & then vibrations start that are supposed to be pleasurable.  I think I experience this, the vibes.

 
          Then he points to another devise exactly like this but twice as big – it’s off to the right about 10 or more feet in front of us - suggesting he & I mosey into it together & feel the vibes.  I know this means sex, it’s like two people in a double sleeping bad.  I don’t see myself doing it as I’m onto him now for sure.  He wants to bed me but I have not decided if I will – the idea of having sex with a relative revolts me even though he is handsome & sexy.

          *(SLIP INTO SLOT WITH PINK TOP GIVES VIBES:  This sounds like sex.  He’s tempting me to ‘feel good’ or ‘good vibes in bed.)*

 
          Then he has me lie in a sort of box, & he takes these ‘albums’ for want of a better word--like books or record albums –maybe 4” thick--with bright covers, & lays a few layers of these upon me.  By now his wife, my aunt, who is a plain older woman while I am an exciting young woman – comes around.  She doesn’t enter the room—waits outside left a few feet from the door--but sends one of her girl friends (young) to see what are we doing – why have we been gone so long?  She fears sex.

          *(OLD AUNT, PLAIN:  his ‘old lady’ who is jealous, she’s checking up on him to see if we’re having sex.  We weren’t.  She checks through a friend somehow.


           I AM THE YOUNG, EXCITING WOMAN:  I am the one he wants, desires, so I seem that way to him, while his ‘old lady’ is plain & not a turn on.  Our looks belie an ‘internal’ look, not external, as in real life she is young, and I am old.)*

          When the girl comes in she sees we’re not doing sex but this whacked thing where he’s putting the stuff onto me while I lie in a box.  I seem to be a young, naive victim in a sense.  WTF is he doing?

          *(ROOM OF SEPARATION:  This could be not now—we are apart by my decision—but 2016 to 2017 when he separated us.  He refused to speak to me for almost a year because of:


           BOOKS OR ALBUMS OF RECORDS:  because of pictures & material I produced on him which he wanted me to remove & then wrongly accused me of ‘exploiting’ him.  {The opposite was true—I was spending big money to help & promote his ‘career’—which never happened as he did not cooperate, too dumb to do so.}

          BOX, PUT ME INTO:  This is a coffin.  I got several heart attacks (they could not define exactly how many from the enzymes in my blood) because of the stress of what he did to me, & causing our separation.  Stress kills; I even died momentarily but came back.  This without a doubt puts the blame on him.)*

 
          EARLIER SCENES:

          I’m in my present house when there’s a dog to the right of my driveway who might be dead.  I fear for him, I feel love for him.  When I come near him he is LIMP, like no life at all, almost dead if not dead.  He’s about 3 feet long, maybe 60 lbs, golden short hair, there’s something pitiful about him.

          *(LARGE LIMP GOLDEN DOG, COULD BE DEAD:  This is the lover Karl’s penis.  Yes it’s large, but dying, could be dead.  That is for lack of my attention.  I find him pitiful & show mercy on him.)*

 
I pick him up limp in my arms & carry him to my warm room, which is in the middle of the house.  There’s something forbidden about this but I defy the rules.  It was cold outside – he might have been suffering from the cold, I will bring him back to life.

*(MIDDLE OF HOUSE, WARM ROOM:  This is my heart as the heart is in the middle of the body, love is warm, not cold—his desire almost died for lack of my love—it was cold or unloving outside.  In my driveway is he has come to me for help.

 
DEFY THE RULES:  The rule was not to give him love until he behaved, became a good fellow, and treated me with love & respect.  I break the rules of ‘no sex until the relationship’.  We shall see momentarily that ‘no good deed goes unpunished.’)*

          Later on I see the dog has come to life, he’s active, I see him running away from us to the left, on the street.  Why is he running away when I brought him back to life? 

          *(COME TO LIFE:  Giving Karl love again brought him back to life, but does he appreciate it?  No, newly invigorated, he ‘takes off’ or leaves me as far as relationship – treats me with the same scorn as before, just uses me & out the door, up the street.)* 

 
          ANOTHER SCENE:

          There was a group of women affiliated with this man who I call ‘my Uncle’ {who is ‘Karl’}   It’s like these dreams are intertwined.

          I saw them appear in a video or TV & they were exercising well, doing some body building.  I said fukk it, if they are doing it, let me jump in, & I join their gym & even though I got in past the beginning, I do well & get lots of exercise in.

          *(GROUP OF WOMEN AFFILIATED WITH KARL, EXERCISING, BODY BUILDING:  Sounds like his roommate, Karlata, & her friends.  What are they doing that I want to join?  Building themselves up, getting strong—I do the same.  But what does this mean?  Possibly in my absence they are gaining confidence & believe they will win Karl & keep him from me forever.  But I’m also gaining strength & confidence that I will win him from her/ them.)*  

 
          Then I see them putting on a ballet show – they are dancing.  One woman is their chief, exercise leader & dancer.  The 4 or 5 of them are like the ‘swan lake’ corps de ballet, they are lying on the floor like supposed to be doing a step, all are in various costumes in pastels – but they are not good at ballet, even though they are doing little here, I see they are not skilled or graceful.  One of them I recall has like pale blue chiffon over her – the costumes are not revealing, more like soft chemise lingerie, nylon or polyester, no tutus.

          *(SWAN LAKE:  Is the story of a bewitched Princess who dies after being changed into a swan – by the arrow of a Prince she loves.  ‘My swan song’ means my end, the end of me, my last note.  Her friends are enacting her soon-to-be death or end of relationship with Karl, who here would be the Prince, who shoots her with an arrow or ends the relationship.

 
          Their being dressed in pale colors of lingerie, flimsy, would be casual bed clothing—they will no longer share the bed {when the relationship ends.}

          GRACE & SKILL, LACK OF:  They do not have the grace of God in them.  They are operating in the flesh.)*

          Then their ‘star – chief’ appears.  She’s wearing an outfit that has black twirls over a light background.  It does not show much skin, has a halter top.  What grabs me is how UNGRACEFUL she is – her body rather stocky, arms slightly thick--not a skilled ballerina, this is amateur stuff.

          *(STAR-CHIEF:  Karlata – She & her friends are ‘performing’ in the ‘theater of life,’ but they are not in the grace of God, God does not act within them.

          OUTFIT COVERED IN BLACK TWIRLS:  Her funeral, it’s finished.  Have seen these black twirls representing the same thing in dreams yesterday.)* 

          There was a man involved here – he’s looking at this as I am & he’s TURNED OFF by their performance – he’s relevant to them & to me as well, I guess I’m the winner.

          *(MAN INVOLVED, LOOKING AT THIS:  Karl is looking how Karlata & friends are acting & he is not impressed.  I win the show it seems.  This is her Waterloo, finally losing the battle of holding onto Karl at all costs—supporting him with the ‘golden parachute’—giving him all he wants. But God isn’t in this; it is the will of God this is over.)
         
          MS NUDE U NEW CONTEST:

          Then I’m watching the latest Ms Nude Universe contest, & a girl has won & she is prancing naked over a platform, above her are the other contestants, & the moderator declares her to be something terrific.  She prances by & is on her way out – they are all naked, the other girls are ordinary & she is better, her body is balanced, nice proportions, average breasts.

          *(NEW WINNER, MS U:  Karlata who won above the other girls who wanted Karl.  They did not have ‘what it takes’ but she was better & declared the winner FOR THIS YEAR, which means temporarily.

          ON HER WAY OUT:  Karlata is exiting the relationship with Karl, which she won, now is ending.)*

          I go to where she’s exiting & say congratulations to her on winning & put my hand to hers to shake.  She takes her hand & moves it behind her.  I let her know I was ‘the first one to win that contest.’

          *(HAND, PUTS BEHIND HER:  not gracious, not a good sport WHEN SHE LOSES.  Good sports shake hands even when they lose.

I FIRST WON THAT CONTEST:  I won Karl before you did.  He was mine before he was yours.)*

          She says ‘I was there,’ but I say, ‘No you weren’t – it was 1967.’

          *(IT WAS 1967:  It was way before you even met him, I was way before you.)*

          Her appearance has changed from when I first saw her.  Her small breasts are very round, her shoulders are good, her arms good – all in proportion, thin & shapely.  But somehow she looks like she’s mixed race – black –her skin is a beautiful olive color, kind of glowing in gold.  She’s good looking but not a good person I suspect, from her vibes, her arrogance & her refusal to shake hands—cold hearted maybe.

          *(OLIVE SKIN GLOWING IN GOLD:  When she & Karl part, she will still be in love with him, could be the reason she refuses to shake hands, the bitterness and jealousy.  Could be why God decrees it ends for her, the relationship is not in the Grace of God, she is not virtuous, it is God’s will he return to me.  Her being black is the lower self, she is operating in the flesh, not in the Light.)*

          It feels like the past & future somehow now melt together.
……………………………………………………….

          MEANING:  Yet another dream that predicts the end of Karl & Karlata, the beginning of you.

          It also reviews how Karl treated you when you were dating, how he hurt you & betrayed you.  But in the end, God’s will prevailed.

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