Changing my Prayers - Jesus Appears

 

3-10-22-Changing my Prayers & the Special Young Male

 

        The VERY SPECIAL boy, my giving a public speech where like 50 naked men run to the front of the audience, seems like they’re lying on their stomachs, some are muscular & attractive; they are SUPER EAGER TO HEAR ME.

        I talk about THE BOY saying everyone loves him because HE LOVES EVERYONE & they cheer & applaud vigorously.

 

        *** (BOY WHO LOVES EVERYONE:  After perusing the entire dream I can see this is Our Lord Jesus Christ.  He’s the only one I know that LOVES EVERYONE & in this dream it might be significant that he warns me about two women who dislike me.) 

        This boy I met while being in the area & I was helping people, seem to be giving out food here & there.  He was poor, I fed him & offered him a job here in this store we have – he needed the job.  He & I are VERY CLOSE like he’s SPECIAL to me, my intimate.

       I get somewhat possessive of him, even jealous, like I own him, when he pays attention to others – but he LOVES EVERYONE!

        In the store there’s an OLD LADY like my Grandma – a ‘babushka’ with grey hair & a bun, & a younger female who also have some dealings with ‘my’ young male.  This young male has fuzzy short hair on his head like a black guy & I also think he has dark skin so he’s black.  His personality is SOFT, so loving & loveable.

 

        *** (WHY IS JESUS A BLACK MALE?  This probably refers to his being POOR & like a SLAVE or SERVANT to everyone.  How did I FEED him? - With LOVE.) *** 

        In a short while he’s been working here, I had to move away to do something & he comes close to me while we can see this Gran & other female, to the left & right, & he says in a quiet voice so they won’t hear him,

        “They were looking at you in a mean way.”

        I am surprised at this as we were supposed to be a team but I see we aren’t.  And I wondered – it seemed important – did they look at one another approvingly as they looked in a mean way to me?  Like they agreed or conspired against me?  And he wanted to warn me about them.

 

        *** (WHO are THESE WOMEN WHO LOOK AT ME IN A MEAN WAY?  Need help Mother God.

        MG:  You guessed it right it’s a female who wants to be close to you.  The ‘store’ where you gave Jesus a job is when you prayed together but still she did not feel love for you, only dislike.  You prayed TO HELP HER not to help you because SHE WAS SICK & extremely anxious about this.  You prayed every day for a year but she still didn’t love you.  You felt her dislike but intent on helping her, did not cease the prayers until a year was over, & when you quit, proving her hate, she cursed you & you felt the curse.

        ME:  But Mother God, I already knew this why does Jesus have to tell me, & why is it seen as old Grandma & her rather than just her?

        MG:  First, the hate originated from your Mother – that’s the old lady, & this female continues that hate, the spirit lives in her.

        Second, it’s a confirmation that you are NOT imagining things or being paranoid, Jesus is telling you what she feels.) ***

 

        So there is a food stall near here, the timing, not sure when this happened.  I was getting some food.  Some people could not afford it.  I ordered ice cream of two kinds.  I ordered one dish of each.  The plate I kept for myself was less food, the other more, but it was plenty for me.  {Each dish was like scoops of ice cream looking like scoops of mashed potatoes covered with crusty flavors & spices of different kinds.}

        But when I got the dishes, it was on soft white cardboard paper, the dishes were large, & part of the ice cream was on each side, & at least one of the plates buckled, in danger of the food falling out - & a male came to help me hold it.

        I didn’t need both plates, this was the larger.  I was debating, who to give this to?  I see two rows of people sitting, mostly children & I try to understand out of all these, who do I give this food to?  I see black boys, it could be one of them.  I wanted to give to the neediest.

        But after this male helps me, I give HIM the plate, thinking logically if he helped me, he’s the one most deserving.

        To my surprise he goes over to ‘his gang’ which is a group of ‘delinquent’ males over there that I thought should be avoided, they were looking at me earlier from the side & making inappropriate noises.  One of them, when this guy brings them the plate I gave him, looks at me smiling.  He’s wearing pearl earrings & some pink things on his body like a gypsy somehow, he’s glamorous, &  smiling in a seductive way - I get embarrassed & walk away.  Because he SEES MY LOVE & it seems romantic & sexy & this EMBARRASSES me.  I didn’t somehow want him to know how much love I had so I depart. 

        *** (the LOVE I WASN’T SURE WHO TO GIVE TO:  Jesus (the boy) helps me not to drop it, takes it from my hands, & delivers it to a delinquent type glamorous who embarrasses me, - this plate having more food than my own is that I’m GIVING HIM MORE LOVE THAN I GIVE MYSELF.

        This delinquent must be LOVER BOB who indeed was idiotic & cruel to me.  But I still love him – he now knows it - & I am embarrassed by it.  I don’t want him to see it so clearly.

Again as I’ve seen a lot lately ice cream is a milk derivative, milk is LOVE.) ***

 

        Then there’s something about my preaching & I’m preparing but slightly nervous.  Will they like my sermons?  I go to the designated spot.  There seems to be a FRYING PAN on stage with me, just emptied like the one I had I put rice into & forgot it, the rice got burned on the bottom, but I cleaned it & there was just a grey spot in the middle.  It just sits there like that.

         Below me is an opening like I am high on stage, & 15 or 20’ beneath me I see a theater floor.  I begin to speak & am startled when the audience RUNS FORWARD at the first sentences & they are all NAKED MEN, some muscular & some FALL ON THEIR FACES.

My opening words were about the boy that he is loved because he loves EVERYONE.  They shout & applaud in great agreement to what I say.  So I’m a success as a preacher.

        The young man I considered ‘my own’ goes here & there helping people, can’t recall much more details.

 

        *** (ME HIGH N STAGE 50 NAKED MUSCULAR, ATTRACTIVE MEN RUN FORWARD & REJOICE AT MY MESSAGE  I know I’m preaching JESUS but what is the frying pan devoid of the burnt rice & who are the naked men?

        Rice is often connected with marriage, burnt rice I cleaned up is probably my flesh desire I renounced for my Lover Bob & stepped aside to my God Self to do as She will.  This liberated me for God’s work.

        The naked men?  Naked is being open, vulnerable, surrendering all fronts or pretense; ‘I go naked before the Lord’. 

        These would be repentant men who are open & hungry for the words of Our Lord & giving their lower self up for the things of God.  Why no women?  Not sure, it could be that you are more influential with men – women are so jealous of you they don’t accept you as their spiritual leader.

        But to men, you’re on a pedestal as Goddess.  And that could be why women are jealous of you.   

……………………………………………….. 

 

 

        Other scenes:   Remember being with a group of females, like school girl days, they turn their backs on me when I speak to like 6 of them.  Then they gather under this solid rock human made tunnel, as it begins to rain & for a while it rains so hard I call it ‘cats & dogs.’

 

        *** (6 or so FEMALES TURN THEIR BACKS ON ME WHEN I SPEAK:  Need help Mother God.

        MG:  This is how females treat you, they won’t listen to you, as you will see later, they are jealous because men prefer you.  You did not describe them but at least one of them is FAT & reminds you of your hairdresser’s daughter – they are jealous of your body that men want.  {This is to confirm what went wrong with your hairdresser.}

What is the solid manmade tunnel of cement where we shelter from the rain of ‘cats & dogs?’

A tunnel is a shelter as described here.  All of you are being protected, but what is the great rain?  This might be sorrow or financial loss?

Who is the young blonde man with all the hair on his face pressing his face to you - you kiss him in return?  This is unclear to me except it could be Lover Bob or some other young man & that’s again, to reiterate the reason women are so jealous of you.  But you deserve & need their love.) ***

        As I’m standing under the tunnel near the end, a beautiful blonde boy comes up to me & he puts his face right up to mine to be kissed & I kiss him.  We are partially secret as there’s something around us, like a grey cloak on both sides, so they can only see him from the back, his back & me behind him.  When he puts his face into mine he’s got a thick blondish mustache & beard & I feel this strongly.  He wanted my love.

        These females who turned their backs on me earlier are still around, & their problem is JEALOUSY – they don’t want this male or any young male to love me.  But he does, they can’t stop it, I need to be FREE from these females, free to be loved.

        I wait for the rain to subside, it does.  Then I go to the other side of that tunnel, a few girls are milling about on this side, it’s well lighted.  I go to the right thinking it’s the way back to town, but it gets darker – no street lamps whatsoever.  It surprises me how fast the path gets dark.

  *** (PATH GETS DARK:  I took the wrong position in my attitude & prayers, it led away from the Light rather than toward it.  This was giving God the ‘shopping list’ of problems, fragmenting my mind into many compartments burdening myself rather than surrendering it all to Her, becoming Her & letting Her work through me.) *** 

 

        To the right down the hill I see lights like people are camping – the way it spreads out, the lights, maybe 10 people – it looks like my property down the hill – it’s all black except for the lights spread out – I call out in a loud voice hello to them.  No answer.

 

        *** (CALL TO THEM IN THE DARK, BUT THEY HAVE CAMPING LIGHTS, NO ANSWER:  Not sure what this means except I cannot find camaraderie or union with anyone who has ‘the light’ – feeling isolated & alone, not the feeling when one is united to God in love, there’s a sense of unity/union, peace/safety, in fact, FEARLESSNESS.) ***

 

        I am now turning around going back the way I came as this is leading more to the wilderness {wilderness is not ‘home’ or ‘love’ or ‘safety’—it’s defined, in my vocabulary, as losing touch with God} than to town when I hear footsteps coming near me & fear it’s a man going to attack me where he’s unseen could kill me & no one could help & no one would see it - I start to run.

        But then a woman appears & OMG what she’s CARRYING ON HER BACK!  It’s all of her possessions, INCLUDING HER HOUSE!

        The house is dry, grey wood, which has been DISMANTLED & placed in a neat fashion, not piles but like in a square design of sorts, with room in the middle for other possessions.  And from this middle I see a small dog pop out then another & another – each weighing about 15 lbs – total of 7 dogs, all cute & lively, different mix breeds!  Everything she owns is on her back.  I tell her she must be EXTREMELY STRONG, like Hercules, to carry all this.  She has straight blonde hair, is young middle age.  She then lets the burden down on the ground, & I think, wow, it will be extremely hard to PICK IT UP AGAIN!  I even dread being here if & when she does this!

        So I go on my way as she sits & rests.  The burdens – the wood – seems no longer grey & dry, it becomes lacquered a goldeny color when she placed it on the ground. 

Below:  Rita Haworth, me, Racquel Welch

        *** (ALL HER LIFE ON HER BACK, THE HOUSE, EVERYTHING, SHE MUST BE HERCULES TO CARRY IT:  This is me carrying the weight of my life on my shoulders, listing all of it, even writing it down, praying to God to help me with each individual item.

        This ended when I realized I was PRAYING WRONG (going down a path that turns darker, no street lamps, I get farther away from town – which means civilization where I need to be - & feel I’m in danger) & decided to say “I want only you God” & with this a total trust that God KNOWS ALL, SEES ALL, CAN DO ALL THINGS & I do not have to explain to God what my needs are, God knows all, sees all & will remedy & solve each & every problem – I don’t have to ‘carry it on my back’ or in my mind – I don’t have to explain & remind God of anything, God never forgets.

        And so putting this burden down & trusting God, it goes from ‘dry grey wood’ to goldeny lacquered wood – I go from WORRY to LOVE – my cares evaporate with the faith, love, trust & confidence in God.

        What are the 7 little dogs?  Sounds like the GIFTS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.  I also began to pray for, -

        “The Baptism of the Holy Spirit, with Signs & Wonders following.”

        It begins with:  fear of the Lord, piety, counsel, understanding, knowledge, fortitude,  & Wisdom which encompasses all the Gifts. 

        (There are also the Gifts of Power that are not addressed by this but perhaps that goes with the territory – if you have the 7 you’ll have those {?}…… The gifts that fall into this category are; the gift of special faith, healings, and the working of miracles. )

        This was HIDDEN inside my burdens inside me, but they are now being RELEASED……Obviously God has given me these Gifts before, but they weren’t in operation - I was blocking them.  Look at their lively & cheerful attitude like puppies full of life, love & innocence.

Below, at age 66 a friend said 'it's a miracle' lol

        Notice this woman came from the path of the wilderness down the road away from it – the road I am running to escape now, sensing danger, spiritual death – the man who could kill me is Satan.

        The woman returning from the wilderness road, putting down her burden, is myself escaping & saying “God all I want is YOU!”

        It isn’t only giving God my problems, but wanting things, situations, like wanting HEALING, having AMBITIONS, even the ambition of creating the Sisterhood here.  I need to drop, surrender, let go all my desires even that of HEALTH.  I have to accept sickness if it’s God’s will – ALL I WANT IS GOD & let God decide ‘for richer or poorer, in sickness & in health”.

        If you love someone you don’t give them a shopping list of demands, say, your spouse,

        “I want supper on the table & sex on demand.  Keep the house clean, the kids under control……or else”

 a man cold say & THAT’S NOT LOVE.

        The woman could say,

        “I want your salary every week, keep a scant tiny amount for yourself, I want sex once a week, no running around, be faithful, no this or that, no drinking, no fancy car for you, etc.”

        This also IS NOT LOVE.  True love is UNCONDITIONAL.  And so I must not treat God like Santa Claus, the PROSPERITY GOD - Give God the list of demands & desires, “God has the power – Let Her fulfill my wishes.”

        No indeed I surrender to Her, let Her decide what’s best for me – poverty, wealth, hunger, satisfaction, love or loneliness, ALL I WANT IS HER – Her spirit, Her love, Her presence.

        In the past, She has always taken care of me no matter what.  All I did was serve Her.  I will not now demand prosperity, just surrender to Her & let Her take over.