Why Men Are the Submissive Sex

 Introduction

Many people assume that men are the natural dominant sex but this is contradicted by femdom. This seems to be an anomie because as everyone will tell you men have always ruled the world. Therefore it is strange that men want to be submissive to women. For this reason it is assumed that femdom men are just a small minority of men with a weird kinky obsession. Not even feminists like femdom because they claim that men and women are equal. So in their opinion femdom is not any different to maledom, both are about perverted desires they don’t agree with. 

But what if people’s assumption that man is the dominant sex is wrong?  Could it be that men are dominant not because that is the way they naturally are, but because social pressure forces them to act this way. If that is  true, then are femdom men are expressing men’s true feelings about women? This is what this book is all about, to question the whole idea that men are the natural dominant sex. Because men are far more submissive than people will admit. Femdom desires have been suppress in men for thousands of years but are now are coming out into the open. 

 Femdom in recent times was started with Austrian author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch and his book “Venus in Furs” in the 19th century. But it couldn’t have started just with him, because as his book sold well, the people who brought the book must have also had femdom desires or they wouldn’t have brought his book. Which became so well known that the word masochism was named after him. But he wasn’t the only author to write about female domination in the 19th century. 

The writer H. Rider Haggard who wrote popular adventure stories wrote one novel called “She”. This was about an immortal women who had great power over men. In this story is the well known phase, “She who must be obeyed”. It became a very popular book and has never been out of print. Because of book’s popularity Haggard went on to write a sequel to it called, “Ayesha: The Return of She” and then a third called, “She and Alan” which included his other popular character Alan Quatermain. Since then the numbers of Femdom books has grown in the 20th and 21 centuries showing us there are large numbers of men who have female domination desires. 

But what about femdom before “Venus in Furs”? There is no reference in our history books of femdom in ancient times, although it is very likely it did exist but wasn’t written about. But we do find many references to female domination in chivalry. Back in the 12th century  chivalry was originally about the rules on how to fight wars. But then powerful women created the courts of love and subverted chivalry to benefit women. The most well known was Eleanor of Aquitaine, who was Queen of France but when her husband Louis VII died she married King Henry II and became Queen of England. 

In these wealthy privilege circles most people openly committed adultery as they didn’t think the Church’s teachings about marriage applied to them. So in these courts of love, chivalric rules were created about how people should conduct themselves when having love affairs. To quote - “They argued that a knight should have a wife to whom he was committed for dynastic, political and business reasons – as was indeed most often the case – But also have a ‘goddess’, whose commands he obeyed unhesitatingly.”

Chivalry and courtly love was also influenced by a book called “De Amore”, (About Love} by Andreas Capellanus. In it he says things like, the woman is in control and take charge of the developing relationship, her admirer is her vassal and one who must prove himself worthy of her. To quote, “The true lover believes only that which he thinks will please his beloved”. These chivalric  rules were popular not only with women but men as well. So it suggests that men in the past also had femdom desires, and chivalry gave them a chance to publicly express them. 

This form of chivalry continued even up to the time of Henry VIII. Anne Boleyn was able to dominate Henry VIII while she was his mistress. But when she married him and tried to continue doing this, he made it clear that in according to the laws of chivalry, she didn’t have the right to do this, because she was now his wife. But it seems it wasn’t in her nature to be a submissive wife and that was one of the reasons why she was beheaded. 

Going back even further in time, we find Femdom in Tantra which is a ancient Hindu sect and Taosim which in an ancient Chinese religion. In Tantra and Taoism it is normal for men to withhold their ejaculation during sex. The explanation in both religions is given that ejaculation depletes the spiritual energy in men. Yet if we give this a moment of thought, it is obvious that this gives women a big advantage. Because the man can stay hard in her for as long as she wants. And because he is never sexually satisfied, he is always “on the boil” so she can have sex with him whenever she feels like it. It is also a means of birth-control which again benefits the woman.

It is similar to many FemDom relationships the dominant women go as far and putting a ring around her partner’s penis or using a male chastity cage, where she has the key to the lock. Also in Tantra  and Taoism the common sexual position is for women to be on top, which puts her in the dominant position. Again both religions give a spiritual reason for this and don’t admit it is about female domination. But then both religions probably had to give bogus reasons for doing this, to be able to survive in the patriarchal age. There has been femdom in other religions in the past and the one that has survived into modern times is Christianity, that clearly expresses male masochism in the figure of a crucified Jesus. 

What are we to think of a religion that has on it’s altar a half-naked, tortured man dying because he is nailed to a cross? People who live in Christian countries accept it as normal and don’t think about it. But anyone who had never heard of Christianity and saw what Christians were worshipping, must think it very weird. In 2004 Mel Gibson produced a very controversial film, “The Passion of the Christ” showing the torture and crucifixion of Jesus in explicit detail. The total horror of the pain and suffering of Jesus portrayed on film, made people realise what Christians have been worshipping for about two thousand years. 

Explanations of why Christians worship a tortured and dying god are not made very clear. The common explanation is that Jesus died for our sins. This goes back to a Jewish scapegoat ritual where the sins of the community are put on a goat and then it is either sacrificed or sent away into the wildness. Perhaps the Jewish ritual does make sense if they do it every year in their “day of atonement”. But the Christian belief don’t make any sense because it only happened once. Christians don't put all their sins on one man every year and then nail him to a cross to die. So we have to question whether Jesus was a real human scapegoat. Another explanation is that Jesus sacrificed himself to appease an angry god. But this doesn’t make sense because Jesus taught that God is a God of love, but not all Christians think that way. Many Christians prefer the Old Testament judgemental, punitive god. 

In Christian tradition there is the ‘Mortification of the flesh’ which in the middle-ages was about self-flagellation and hair shirts. Even today in places like Mexico and the Philippines every year men carry a cross through the streets and then tied to the cross. Some even have nails through their hands but are also tied to the cross as well, so the weight of their bodies are not on the nailed hands. But Christianity is not the only religion we find masochism, we find it in Hinduism with the festival of Gajan where men are pierced with hooks and skewers, run over hot coals or lie on a bed of nails. There is also the Hindu Thaipusam Festival in Malaysia where hundreds of men have their tongues and cheeks pierced with hooks and skewers. There is also the tradition of Fakirs who torture themselves for spiritual reasons.

People accept men doing these sorts of things because they do it within a religious setting. But if men publicly did it in a festival that wasn’t religious, then people would assume it was all about masochism and sexual perversion. So why would men voluntary want to do these sorts of things?  Religions never give a clear answer to this and give conflicting reasons for it, but some claim it is something to do with sacrifice. Christianity wasn’t the only religion where a god sacrificed himself. This was a common theme in many ancient religions. Jesus was the last in line of a number of sacrificial/savour gods, many whom were connected to Goddess worship. 

To understand what this is all about, we have to go back to a very ancient religion of the Great Mother. In this religion people believed the world was created by a Great Mother who gave birth to our world. And while people worshipped the Great Mother we lived in a time of peace and harmony but this changed when people began to worship male gods. This is not just a myth, there is archaeological evidence for this, that is being kept away from the general public. 

In most of recorded history we live in a world or conflict, violence, war and poverty but it doesn’t have to be like this. The reason why our world is in such a mess is because men are ruling our world, when it should be women doing this. It is obvious why men rule the world and that is because they are bigger, stronger, more aggressive and competitive than women. But the aggressive and competitive nature of male rulers is the reason why we live in a violent world with a huge gap between rich and poor. 

What is not taught in our history books, is that in prehistoric times women once ruled the world and men were their devoted slaves and worship women like goddesses. Women then had great power over men while everyone knew that God was a woman whom they called the Great Mother. 

But everything went wrong when patriarchal societies were created and these destroyed peaceful matriarchal societies through war and violence. But in spite of this women kept their Goddess religions and for thousands of years people worshipped both gods and goddesses. Until finally we had modern religions that only worshipped one male god. But when women saw they were losing to patriarchy they created sacrificial/savour gods that had submissive and masochistic tendencies like that of Jesus Christ. But even these religions were subverted by patriarchy. 

So can we reverse this? And bring about a new age when women rule the world once again? We probably can, but to do this we have to expose all the lies patriarchy has told us about human behaviour and religion. Like that men are the natural dominant sex when they are in fact the opposite. Men have a natural desire to worship women which has been suppressed for thousands of years. But Femdom is leading the way and showing us what men are really like.

Bibliography

Venus in Furs - Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

She - H. Rider Haggard

Ayesha: The Return of She - H. Rider Haggard

She and Alan – H. Rider Haggard

Chivalry - O.B. Duane.

De Amore  - Andreas Capellanus.

Tao Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy – Mantak Chia and Michael Winn

Tantric Sex: Making Love Last – Cassandra Lorius

New Testament

The Once and Future Goddess - Elinor W. Gadon

Return of the Goddess – Edward C. Whitmont